August 18, 2020

Humbled Females: new forum reply to Silence

New reply from liawahine

<div class="wps_wp_editor_quote">Have any of you practiced extended silence, either because you’ve been told to, or for yourself?</div>
<div>Yes, Master employes different sorts of "silent" practices.. The obvious one being me not speaking. There are a few variations to that. One is audible silence to language. So i only hear nature sounds, no words unless it is from his lips. More commonly the last few years has been no audible English unless its from him, so i may watch/listen to non-English shows/music.. In  all of these, what i find happens is a quieting of the inner voice. i can see in hindsight that he uses these when i'm having a hard time with focus or remembering things, and when i get frustrated easily. </div>
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<div>the rest of your post though, is a bit different, and i agree with the men that just clamming up because you're angry is not always the best strategy, and can be a way of controlling the situation. When its your sister, it must be really difficult. She will know just how to send you flying over the edge with a word or two i'd suspect. Taking a time out for 15 minutes and finding your center may be all the quiet you need to rein in your rage and say what you need to say without any foul language. If she just wants to hurt you, then removing yourself from the situation may be best, you are not required to be her punching bag… If you are prone to arguing your point till the cows come home though, learning to surrender your high ground would be helpful, and you can practice doing this with topics that are not vital, where you may want it one way, but her way is just as good…. </div>
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<div>best of luck!</div>

Original Post by emergingessence


<p>Have any of you practiced extended silence, either because you’ve been told to, or for yourself?</p>
<p>After a particularly horrible verbal argument with my sister recently, I realised I could do with learning to respect my choice of words much better. This has always been an issue for me… a disconnection between my heart and my mouth when anger arises. <br />It occurred to me that perhaps a period of practiced silence could be a good thing. Having to learn to listen better, without the process of thinking about how to respond. Learning to make conversation not about what I have to say. Learning to make arguments not about who “wins.” Hopefully even leading to learning to let go of even believing there’s a need to argue. Learning to deal with my anger at not feeling heard. I think in general, mostly just removing myself from the equation for a while, to learn better how to understand.<br /><br /></p>
<p>I can convince myself that any weird plan is a good plan, so I have come to realise that it’s a good idea to run it by people more level headed than I am. That is everyone here :D<br /><br /></p>
<p>Even if you haven’t any experience with this, do you have any thoughts or suggestions? Does it seem like too much of a simple connection? (words are the problem so take them away). </p>

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