November 22, 2016

Dominance, Submission, and the Sturm Und Drang of Family Law


Artwork ©Someone

Over the past few years, I’ve had the unique if not undesirable opportunity to put my finger directly upon the pulse of a small portion of the American legal system where it relates to family law—one of the most contentious hells of legal Jeopardy there is. It’s a busy intersection where deeply personal, near endless quarrel between former “lovers” meets the capitalistic exploitation of vultures (sorry, I meant lawyers!) in the firmament that is our judicial system. It’s a realm where bizarre and unpredictable things tend to happen, where logic isn’t necessarily relevant and facts can be less important than fiction—a realm made even more bizarre and unpredictable when you dare throw D/s lifestyle practices into the mix.

My story, which involves exactly those things, begins in a little town in Colorado, where a particularly unhappy woman—let’s call her Tina—found herself having quite enough of the mental and physical abuse she suffered at the hands of a narcissistic and abusive Syrian immigrant. In her headstrong and subsequently wayward youth, Tina insisted on doggedly pursuing a relationship with this man, ignoring the many recurring warnings from others to do otherwise, out of the mistaken belief that his manipulativeness, arrogance, and cruel treatment amounted to good dominance in a man. Many years and two kids later, she finally realized that this man (who, among many awful and despicable acts, kicked her in the stomach when pregnant with his own daughter and even threatened to kill her) was unfit to stay with any longer. I’m not certain when the line was finally crossed for her, but when it was, she plotted to move out when he was off at work one day. And so she humbly and quietly slipped away, taking very little of her own possessions, to start a new life away from her husband, at any cost.

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