It’s not especially novel at this time to observe and discuss wayward trends in cultural direction, especially in spaces like ours. It may come as no surprise to readers, for instance, that Humbled Females sees a decidedly progressive or “woke” agenda throughout Western society, the pall of which covers everything from the pariah of sexism to the specter of institutional racism. There is much ado about these subjects in politics, in higher education, online, on talk shows, podcasts, and in everyday conversation, and so naturally there would come a time when we’d want to make our position clear within the community, as we do not shy away from commenting on other socially sensitive subjects. We have spoken critically about the demonization of those recognizing differences between the sexes and the related rise of feminism’s corrupting influence quite often, as one would expect us to, given our interests. In this article we’re shifting away from directly criticizing feminism and targeting an adjacent social influence: the transgender movement in its intellectual, cultural, and political activist form. It has been a long time coming, frankly. We have avoided writing anything particular on the subject due to its sensitive nature, but given our core philosophy about the reality of sex, and further contrasting it with the growing influence of transgenderism, which seems bent on obfuscating that reality entirely, this address was inevitable. From Twitter to Scientific American to the APA itself, attacking the truth of sex for the political motivations of a very small group has risen to the forefront of the social justice lens. The way transgender men, in particular, have co-opted the definition of women is obviously of grave concern to us, for we have very particular ideas about what constitutes the adult female sex. Enabled with the antecedent of intersectional feminism and its ideas of equivalence between the sexes, transgenderism—as political animal or as personal truth—has gained a worrisome foothold in the Western psyche, one already addled with the modern rot of political correctness, its people primed at early ages to accept a host of radical ideas that defy common sense, even reality itself. The idea that women are just as capable as men at all things, that there are really no fundamental differences between the sexes, and any extent to which this seems the case can be laid at the feet of cultural influence is just one such example of said lunacy. Transgenderism seems to be following in the practiced footsteps of feminism’s playbook, taking the discussion of the sexes to a new frontier: one of complete blurring.

This blurring of the sexes—the idea that sex isn’t real—is worrying for several reasons, but most of all for the confusing effect it’s having upon younger generations. By making gender something relative, amorphous, and interchangeable, the activist wing of transgenderism is attacking the very foundation of sexual dimorphism, and from this there is a reinforcement of the ongoing war in the West against the reality of naturally contrasting behaviors between the sexes. Upon investigating the transgender world in its current form, we come to an ironic if not predictable observation: that the continuing natural dominance of genetic males rises to the surface as the defining population within the movement. This is to us at Humbled Females no great shock: men are a force of nature, always at the top of the hierarchy, in whatever form it may be. Male power is not allowed to display itself so openly: today such power can only operate if it is hidden. When masked under a feminine transgender facade, it can express itself and overtly exist in ways that are discouraged and frowned upon in hetero-normative males. While transgender males have carte blanche to use some very typical masculine tactics and actions in the interests of the “third sex,” we find traditional men are maligned as expressing “toxic masculinity” for similar actions. Transgender males openly colonize and parasitically appropriate female culture as a demonstration of conquest. In the process, they disfigure femininity in ways that undermine the deep distinctions between the sexes. The distortion of traditional binary masculinity and femininity undercuts the roots of sexual identity, and, in so doing, poisons the well of relationship fulfillment. It is our view that this is socially destabilizing. Our goal in this article is to discuss and critique this  phenomenon, to call it into the light, and to provide resources for our community to combat the growing influence of those who would rather destroy all differences between the sexes for their own perverse, egotistical, and political ends.

 

Definitions and Clarifications

Before starting down the path of exploring and critiquing transgenderism, it’s important to have clear understandings of the words used in these discussions and to stick with them. Such words are sometimes misused in public debate, making it difficult to have clear, productive discourse that leads to rational conclusions about the reality of sex and the sexes. That’s exactly the intent of some extreme advocates for transgenderism: to muddle language and meaning so as to purposefully break the common continuity of words, and thus, the conversation. At Humbled Females, many in our community will not require such a refresher on terms, as we are well aware of the differences between males and females and therefore hold very clear beliefs about their respective purposes and roles. Our sentiments about the sexes are derived from life experience, if not biological science, and, in the very least, dictionary definitions. Nonetheless, we will provide the following for clarification in this article. 

Male
adjective: of or denoting the sex that produces small, typically motile gametes, especially spermatozoa, with which a female may be fertilized or inseminated to produce offspring.
noun: a male animal or plant.

Normal human males have X and Y chromosomes in their cells.¹

Female
adjective: of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilized by male gametes.
noun: a female animal or plant.

Normal human females have two X chromosomes in their cells.²

Genetic human males will be referred to as “males” or “men.” Males who label themselves either “transgender” or “transsexual” will still be referred to as “males” or “men,” to reflect their genetic reality and not the alternative attributes they have assumed or claimed. And likewise, any discussion of genetic females will refer to them as “females” or “women.” Any females who act under the umbrella of “transgender” or “transsexual” will still be referred to by their genetic reality of being female.

“Transgender” will be understood as those who believe their personal gender is either the opposite of their biological sex, or that they are neither male nor female. This will mainly refer to individuals who take on performative characteristics of the opposite genetic sex, including surgical alterations, to appear, physically, like the opposite genetic sex.

With that out of the way, let’s begin.

 

Regarding Our Common Grounds and Where the Sands Shift

It is first quite important to address the incorrect perception that one is transphobic (or homophobic) when attempting to hold critical discourse about the assertions of the transgender world. As is so often experienced, those who attempt having critical discussions with trans people or trans activists usually find themselves harangued for transphobia: a deeply held fear of and/or hatred for transgendered people. While it’s true that some who speak out against transgender activism are indeed bigoted, we assert that this is not the case for most who rise up in an attempt toward understanding it or intellectually challenging it. Our critique at Humbled Females, for instance, does not come from a place of hatred, but rather a love of truth—a love for the reality of sex, of male and female. We do not hold some sort of grudge against alternative sexuality. We acknowledge that the BDSM world itself owes a debt of gratitude to the LGBT community (lesbians, gay men, bisexual men and women, transvestites, and drag queens), in fact. The Stonewall riots and subsequent years of the gay liberation movement opened the door for unusual sexual and relationship practices to come out of the shadows, and much of the early public face of the fetish world was indeed the gay leather community, in which feminine men and crossdressers intermingled. The road to relative ease of access and surface-level social acceptance of bondage and fetishism was paved in part by the earlier LGBT community which sought to decriminalize and destigmatize socially unconventional orientations and practices. Local BDSM community groups would not readily have found sympathetic meeting spaces and alternative social media venues like Fetlife.com or BDSM.com would perhaps not live on as robustly as they do in the public Internet if others before us had not first broken through  the closed-minded and illiberal barriers preceding the sexual revolution.

Differing sexualities and orientations, in and of themselves, are of no threat to the wide and complex world of D/s, or even our smaller sphere of heteronormative male dominance and female submission. In truth, our community shares some degree of alliance with the great alt culture, with people like us being outside of what is perceived as “convention” today (strangely enough). Traditionalists will laud our community premise, yet their support often ends where we push deeper into the realm of overt dominance and submission. The LGBT community, on the other hand, has faced similar struggles against such enforced convention and the attitudes that surround it. We share a common struggle not only against the disapproval of the moral majority, but of societal institutions, religious and governmental, leveraged against us in attempts to legislate puritanical and bigoted values. In seeking the freedom to live as we wish without outside interference, we recognize the same aspirations in others who do not live as we do. Indeed, this sentiment is clearly articulated in the mission statement of our community: that we are not out to change the world, but instead reclaim some animal wisdom of our species we believe has been overlooked in the shuffle of modernity.³

But despite the similarities we may have with those of alternative persuasions, there has been a distinct shift in recent years between intellectual, cultural, and political forces, leaving large swaths of people sharply at odds with each other over toxic and far-reaching ideologies that only seem to further grow and metastasize. It is here that we collide, inevitably, with the tendrils of feminism, for as feminism rebranded and expanded itself with the confusing logic of “intersectionalism,” the LGBT community was aggressively (and successfully) co-opted under its influence. Alternative sexual expression and orientation wasn’t merely that any longer: the personal was made political, as feminists like to say. An unfortunate side effect of the sexual revolution and one that seems to have come to a chaotic head in the decades following was that sexual identity became, more and more, a political symbol and tool.

With the increased political bandwidth from intersectionalism, transgender ideologues and activists have managed to exert a perverse influence over institutions, media, and cultural discourse, leading to the social phenomenon of sky-rocketing claims of the rise of transgenderism and to its pushed normalization. Self-declared gender identification has spread like a contagion among the most impressionable (the young, sexually confused, or mentally ill) and dangerous (criminally sociopathic) groups.⁴ Transgender ideologues, in conjunction with financially motivated health care professionals, have helped institutionalize “gender-affirmative therapy”  which removes psychological, psychiatric, and medical safeguards that were routine in the pre-politicized world of clinicians specializing in transgender or transsexual counseling.

Long-established doctors and psychologists specializing in transsexualism and gender conversion have been professionally shunned for adhering to prior clinical standards and refusing to practice affirmation therapy. In her book Irreversible Damage, Abigail Shrier dedicates a chapter to the “dissident” standard bearers who have not bowed to current transgender ideology. Summarizing interviews with such renowned professionals as Dr. Kenneth Zucker, Dr. Ray Blanchard, and psychotherapist, Lisa Marchiano, she writes:

There are, however, a few professionals who refuse to play ball and are nervy enough to say so. Many of them treated transgender patients long before such work was fashionable. They have earned international reputations as giants of psychiatry, sexology, or psychology. Some have authored major academic research on psychiatric disorders, sexuality, or gender dysphoria. Others are Jungian analysts and published authors. All have suffered professional setbacks and reputational smears for their stubborn insistence that “affirmative therapy” isn’t really therapy at all.

But they all believe gender dysphoria is, first and foremost, a psychopathology—a mental disorder to treat, not primarily an identity to celebrate…. And they believe that “affirmative therapy” is either a terrible dereliction of duty or a political agenda disguised as help. ⁵

The lack of prior institutional guardrails combined with ideological and savvy media have led to unprecedented numbers, well beyond traditional statistics, of people self-identifying as transgender. The current melee of self-identified transgenders includes numbers of mentally unwell individuals suffering from such things as gender dysphoria and autogynephilia, the sexually confused at odds with their homosexuality, those most prone to social contagions, and the outright opportunistic seeking social capital and license. And while this collection of new people bears little resemblance in number or motivation to preintersectional transgenders, their biological identities and subsequent behaviors lay bare the deeper characteristics of the sexes that cannot be overwritten by performative change. In her book Trans: When Ideology Meets Reality, Helen Joyce highlights Dr. Ray Blanchard’s conclusions about ideological transgenderism being perpetuated largely by biological men:

Blanchard’s observations of extremist transactivism in recent years have led him to believe that the leaders are mostly autogynephiles. Their anger results from ‘envy of women and resentment at not being accepted by women as one of them,’ he has tweeted. ‘They direct their ire at women because it is women who frustrate their desires. Men are largely irrelevant.’ ⁶

Effeminate homosexual men and transgender people have always been part of the LGBT world. But under the influence of feminism, sacred immunity has been given to those idealizing the feminine. Feminine males, accepted and affirmed with open arms by feminists, influenced a gradually shifting cultural and political direction of feminist gynocentrism. Given expanded social license, gay and transgendered men have adapted to exercise control in the ways that mimic women and define femininity. LGBT men, especially transgender men taking on female attributes, operate relatively unchecked in areas traditionally inhabited by women, smuggling male domination into the world of women under the mask of transgenderism. Where the heterosexual male is scrutinized, despised, and endlessly critiqued, the transgender man is allowed his eccentricities and contradictions in this new world. There is an increased spectacle we see in the world of transgenderism that borrows its moves from the feminist activist playbook, employing victim politics and invading the halls of academia and government to enforce fantastical assertions about reality. To the degree this has become the new chimeric face of the LGBT community, we wholly reject it. While transgender people face legitimate civil rights issues that are worth defending, we cannot and will not support blurring the lines of sex and sexual identity, especially where the effort is embedded in higher education, law, and the corruption of the sciences.  These forms of activism disrupt the very foundations of our understanding of sex and its reality, and such boundaries are not just  important to us in our community: they are real and necessary in order to have a civilization free of philosophical and legal madness.

Like an immune reaction within a massive social organism, feminists have lately become aware of the erosive effects of transgenderism, and have begun to retrace the lines of division between the sexes. The irony is, again, that feminism played a role in promoting the politics of transgenderism through its rhetoric of equivalence between the sexes, intersectionalist victim politics, and a charged culture of political correctness. Their tactics and ideas, as they have slowly begun to realize, have been turned upon them, as we will soon discuss.

 

From the Virtual to the Real: The Steady Encroachment of Trans Culture

The Internet is the easiest venue in which to observe the ascendance of transgender men into realms that have been traditionally female. While females participate in content-driven social media in much greater numbers than men, transgender social media is dominated by greater numbers of men mimicking women, with much smaller numbers of biological women participating. In personally surveying the top 25 posts on Twitter and Facebook with the hashtags #transgender and #transisbeautiful, men out-represented women with the closest ratio being 20:5 and the largest gap being 24:1. In these 20+ male posts on each site, transgender men charismatically and confidently mimic young female behavior, overtly sexual female behavior, and feminist-inspired female behavior. This included twerking, pole-dancing, posturing for selfies, self-promoting pornography, displaying their clothing including lingerie, showcasing their makeup, and intentional no-makeup selfies to show their age. The same exercise on Fetlife yielded a ratio of 25:0 with no depictions of transgender women imitating men. In fact, at least the first 90 photos were all biological men imitating women. And the content on Fetlife was very similar to the Twitter and Facebook user-generated content with posturing selfies, self-promoting pornography, modeling female clothing including lingerie, showcasing makeup, emulating “bimbos,” and being “sex worker” activists.

While social media is an amorphous and often deceptive medium that can’t be entirely trusted, we have witnessed specific high-profile examples of transgender men not only commanding attention in their efforts to be female, but  rising to command areas that are primarily female. In the process, they have found ways to monetize the transgender spectacle of males emulating females. Beyond Chaz Bono and Ellen Page, separated by more than a decade in their attention from transitioning, there are no high-profile examples of biological females attempting to be men. While there are subcultural examples of such females in the LGBT world, their claim to fame is minor and contained within that subculture, not garishly and insistently transferred into the mainstream spotlight.

With transgender males, we see a different story. Bruce “Caitlyn” Jenner is now the most famous transgender man in modern history. While his original fame was as a record-setting Olympic decathlete in the 1970’s, even gaining the coveted placement on the Wheaties cereal box, he turbocharged his celebrity 40 years later by publicly coming out as transgender in 2015 while playing his part in the reality series Keeping up with the Kardashians. This earned him the Glamour Magazine “Trans Champion Woman of the Year” award, making him the second transgender man to earn the title (the first went to “Laverne Cox” in 2014). That same year he gained the spinoff series I Am Cait and further attention and infamy when he publicly declared, “The hardest part about being a woman is figuring out what to wear.” In 2016, he launched his own makeup collection with MAC Cosmetics and became the face of Swedish clothing retailer H&M for their sports line. In 2017, he was also very public about undergoing gender reassignment surgery and became an International Women’s Day spokesperson for ONE.org. With an Olympic gold medal, long standing athletic world record, two television series, a cosmetic line, a spokesperson contract for at least two iconic brands, mass culture awards, and activist status, Bruce Jenner has checked off more boxes of achievement than most of the highest achieving biological females of celebrity, much less the transsexual females who are absent from the high-profile landscape, interestingly enough. Not at all coincidentally, the latter year accomplishments are all well within the era of fourth-wave feminism and its public maligning of maleness and masculinity. And yet all of this required a great deal of drive, ambition, determination, focus, shrewdness, if not ruthlessness—the same characteristics displayed, in aggregate, by biological men throughout history.

While Bruce Jenner came out as transgender long after the end of his athletic career, more current male athletes have declared themselves female and have attempted to monetize their status, including, in some instances, physically competing against genetic females, despite being genetic males. Former WWE Wrestler and fitness icon, Gabe “Gabbi” Alon Tuft, and professional MMA fighter, Fallon Fox, both came out as transgender mid-career. No longer fitting the hypermasculine body builder image upon which he built his fame, Tuft is currently attempting to rebrand himself though a social media focus on makeup, cooking, and how to lose muscle mass to be less masculine. He has recently announced plans to compete professionally as a female bodybuilder. Fox had a short-lived professional career as a female fighter as his notoriety grew for inflicting unusual amounts of physical harm on his female opponents.

A cascade of similar instances have occurred since in professional and amateur sports, and the cases remain predominantly those of genetic males competing against genetic females, with the reverse of females competing as males being relatively rare. While females have a physiological ceiling that makes them seldom able to compete athletically with genetic males, males have been allowed to operate at will as females under the guise of transgenderism, where those of general prowess in the world of men routinely and significantly outperform females based on common physical advantages awarded them by nature. Very recent challenges to prevent males from competing as females in youth sports have been met with staunch opposition and claims of discrimination from transgender activists. Just recently, New Zealand has named Gavin “Laurel” Hubbard to its women’s weightlifting roster for the upcoming Olympics in Tokyo, making him the first openly transgender athlete to compete in the games. His election is not without its protest and controversy, as we would easily imagine: his male body is obviously going to give him an incredible advantage against genetic females competing against him. Nonetheless, we’re told Hubbard has met the International Olympic Committee’s requirements for athletes who transition from male to female—something that apparently should ease our concerns. The requirements demand that the athlete declare his gender identity as female, and that this status can’t change for at least four years in the realm of sports. The athlete’s testosterone level must also stay below 10 nanomoles per liter. But this is little comfort for those who understand the reality of pitting male bodies against female bodies. The lopsided encroachment of genetic males into female weightlifting is maddeningly obvious.

Outside of athletics, transgender men have also made high-profile forays into traditionally feminine fields. They have propelled themselves into rock-star level celebrity in their disciplines, becoming highly influential in traditionally feminine areas. As a result, they hold great amounts of influence over their largely female fan bases. Jeffree Star (born Jeffrey Steininger, Jr) is a makeup guru with over 16 million followers on YouTube and his own line of high-end cosmetics. Being one of the highest paid YouTube stars with a vast fan base, Jeffree has a large female following who look to him for beauty recommendations. Jeffree is open about being a gay man who likes feminine things but is not transgender. While his industry is one in which gay men have always had a significant presence, Jeffree has a particularly elevated profile for his feminine and dramatic personality.

Stephen West is a fashion designer who has risen to prominence in the knitting world, an area not known for having visible men or notable personalities. West has a series of published pattern books, his own design brand, and his own yarn brand. He is a highly sought-after educator for podcasts and conventions where he is often the main event. He has an especially high profile on Instagram with over 221,000 followers. West is an effeminate gay man and has made no claims of transgenderism. His rise to renown is noteworthy due to his typically female medium but also due to the rise of the “craftivist” movement in recent years.⁷ Even under the current heavy influence of feminist craftivism, West has gained a level of popularity and influence that has arguably never been seen before in the world of handcrafts.

 

No Way for a Lady to Act: Aggression in Transgender Males

In a perfect world, one would see males and females who desire transitioning their genders truly transforming themselves into the opposite sex through the magic of some future technology. In a century or two from now, this might be possible, once we have achieved transhumanist abilities. But as for now, genetic males will remain genetic males underneath the makeup, feminine clothes, and feminine acting, and the nature of their maleness can and does emerge past the facade of the dubious veils they wear. In defining themselves as females and working toward blurring objective definitions of sex, transgender men have been permitted, outrageously, to display aggressive male behaviors largely unchecked, whereas heteronormative men would be accused of “toxic masculinity” for the display of the exact same behaviors. This double standard is warping and confusing the boundaries of sexual behavior, much to the advantage of trans activists. The communal understanding of female behaviors has begun to publicly skew in this dishonest representation of men, women, and sex, and thus far, the public seems scarcely awake to these obvious dangers.

Finding examples of male violence and aggression being smuggled through twisted feminine archetypes isn’t particularly out of reach.  The recent social and political unrest in the United States has brought to light two transgender men, originally reported in the media (following GLAAD guidelines, which will be discussed later) as being female, who have overtly advocated and planned for violence within their movements. Willy “Vicky” Osterweil became popular among the ideological left and received significant attention for his book In Defense of Looting during the BLM riots of 2020. The original NPR interview with Willy depicted him as a female and his statements read as a militant political manifesto. The book itself overtly calls for violence and extraneously injects notions of femaleness into its aggressive declarations. “Riots are violent, extreme, and femme as fuck,” he writes. “They rip, tear, burn, and destroy to give birth to a new world.” After the initial controversial media attention, it was later uncovered that “Vicky” was, in fact, a genetic male named Willy: a longtime left-wing extremist and known agitator.

In the insurrection at the US Capitol in January 2021, one of the people arrested for organizing a faction of the paramilitary group known as the Oath Keepers was Jeremy “Jessica” Watkins. First reports on the person only stated “Jessica” had a past military background under a different name and had organized a local militia group well before current events as a means to “help” the local community. Days later it was uncovered that this person served in the military as a United States Ranger in Afghanistan under the name of Jeremy David Watkins years before the military transgender ban was lifted.

On the surface, data on transgender individuals committing crimes can be difficult to track down; nearly all academic and institutional attention to the issue of transgenders and crime is focused on transgenders as victims, not as perpetrators. Even when focusing on incarcerated transgender individuals, research and discussions remain dutifully focused on the vulnerability and potential victimization of transgender people in custody and not on the demographics of those committing crimes or the types of crimes committed. Whether it involves advocacy groups diverting attention from negative actions of transgender individuals and excluding information that contradicts their ideologies or institutions and media seeking to avoid controversy, the general absence of direct data and study of the issue arguably reveals a blind spot, if not intentionally dishonest conversation about the effects of genetic sex on tendencies towards violence in genetic males. But therein lies the rub: in order to study the patterns of violence in transgender women, the subject of genetic origin must come into play, and we are not encouraged to discuss the genetic reality due to the insistence we justify the gender-based fantasy of transitioning.

The only known research into transgenderism and criminality comes out of Sweden, looking at the long-term effects for post-operative transsexual men.  It concluded that they “retained a male pattern regarding criminality” with sexual and violent crime.  Frustrated with the male propensity to commit violent and sexual crimes combined with the lack of transparency around transgender criminal data in the UK (where an unusually high number of men self-identifying as women are housed with female prisoners), author Helen Joyce extrapolates the following:

If the UK prisons inspectorate is right, and two percent of male prisoners identify as women, that is a figure greater than half the total number of female prisoners. And if transwomen’s offending pattern is male-typical, and the share imprisoned for sex crimes is five times as high as for women, you arrive at a startling conclusion. Of all the sex offenders behind bars (in men’s or women’s prisons) who identify as women, well over two-thirds are male.⁸

Some institutions, however, still manage to remain honest. Within the US prison system, prisoners are housed by their genetic sex, not assumed identity. In addition, the majority of incarcerated transgenders are housed in facilities for men, indicating that the majority of imprisoned transgender criminals are genetic men and not genetic women. FBI crime statistics do not include statistics on transgender individuals, but rather classify by genetic sex, making it difficult, if not impossible, to identify the types of crimes committed by transgender men. But in the UK, which has a more pronounced advocacy movement to protect genetic females from transgender male infringements, the website for Trans Crime UK has collected their own data on transgender crime statistics. From their data, they have determined that transgender criminals are overwhelmingly genetic males, not genetic females. In addition, the site’s data shows crimes committed by transgender men lean toward violent and sexual crimes, including rape, assault, murder, domestic violence, child sexual abuse, and child pornography. Social media also reveals clear trends of transgender men showing aggression and advocating violence. And despite claims of being female, their ire is often aimed at genetic females, especially those who question their authenticity as supposed females. In other contexts, such behavior would be maligned as “toxic masculinity,” but because it takes place under a performative female facade, the behaviors continue, relatively unchecked. While some feminist and lesbian counteractivists work to bring attention to the reality of these aggressive behaviors, they are still performed openly and are given a politically correct license to continue.

 

Institutional Transgenderism: Influence Beyond Scale

In the traditional fashion in which power is formalized, transgenderism has institutionalized itself to gain credibility and acquire a larger platform for influence. Where it benefits the cause to use aggressive methods that are more male-like, they do so. When the context calls for falling back to the safe social protections of femininity, they likewise do so. As a result, transgenderism has leveraged power and influence that is not commensurate with their percentage of the population, wrecking havoc and netting undue focus in the larger world. While population statistics on transgender people are believed to be inflated by inexact definitions, self-identified transgenders are estimated in the United States to comprise .35% to .6% of the population. And the numbers seeking hormone therapy or gender reassignment are considerably smaller at .009% of the population.

WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health) is an important institution behind much of the transgender activism woven into existing institutions. Its original founder, Paul A. Walker, who was president of the original Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association (HBIGDA), performed research at Johns Hopkins in collaboration with John Money, the man behind the infamous David Reimer case. HBIGDA would later become known as WPATH, an organization that has specifically focused on integrating its advocates into health care, psychological care, child and adolescent care, law, social work, educational systems, religious organizations, and communications. This group is arguably the main influence for the overfocus on transgenderism in all their targeted disciplines, as well as the vilification of those questioning its “science,” methods, or political intent.

GATE is an organization for transgender advocacy that specifically works with the United Nations and World Health Organization to influence international institutions and policies. GATE is also a strategic partner with WPATH. They focus on high-level influence for international law reform and institutional reform in medicine and psychology to protect transgender views on gender. GATE has been at the forefront of spinning transgender demands as human rights and assisting with codifying these assertions into law, to be used as legal references for future ideological legal endeavors.

In the United States, GLAAD has been at the center of influencing journalists and controlling portrayals of transgenders in the media. GLAAD’s Media Reference Guide (10^th Edition) is a 40 page document  “intended to be used by journalists reporting for mainstream media outlets and by creators in entertainment media who want to tell LGBTQ people’s stories fairly and accurately.” GLAAD openly encourages journalists to not refer to birth names or biological sex when reporting on transgender people and speak in terms of their gender identity, instead. Outside experts with differing observations and opinions are highly discouraged; only transgender individuals should be used as experts or critics in transgender issues. The recent misleading report around a 39-year old “woman” committing incest and raping “her” senile, 80-year old mother (Chris “Christine” Chandler, aka Chris Chan) is a typical example of GLAAD-influenced journalism masking truths about such a disturbing incident.

Following the feminist playbook, transgender activists have also ingrained themselves into academia as a means to increase their cultural footprint. Using the existing academic infrastructure for Women’s Studies and Queer Studies, the first Transgender Studies program emerged in the US in 2015. It is now an integrated discipline under the umbrella of Gender Studies which awards approximately 9100 Bachelors degrees per year. In addition to being regularly presented in more general academic publications for Gender Studies, transgender activists have their own dedicated academic journals, including Transgender Studies Quarterly (Duke University) and International Journal of Transgender Health (WPATH).

In overview, it seems abundantly clear that transgender activists have propagandized language, again copying feminist tactics, with intentional manipulations aimed at supporting their agenda. “Transgender language reform” intentionally obfuscates commonly understood ideas around identity and gender norms. And in the quest to bend language to fit pro-trans ideology, activists and their followers have objectified and dehumanized the overwhelming majority of gender binary individuals. Gender-neutral and gender-inclusive language efforts began under second wave feminism. However, transgender activists have reworked the concept to be personally subjective and thus erode common understanding of individuals having a sexual identity.  Not only do transgender individuals have public license to self-identify by the gender they feel they are, but it is often demanded that all outsiders participate in their subjective realities, where they claim that they are not of their observable, biological sex. “Misgendering” an individual by referring to them as their observable sex, even unintentionally, is labelled as transphobic and a form of harassment.

There is also the modern circus of pronoun usage, something most of us have become acquainted with when spending time largely in, but certainly not limited to, the realm of social media. Widely understood identifiers (he/she, his/her) are discouraged until selected by the individual. In their place, nondescript identifiers are advocated such as “they” and “theirs” or newly invented identifiers (ze/hir/hirs) that are meaningless and confusing to the majority of the population. “Cisgender” was first used around 2006 by lesbian academics, but through transgender activists it has since been given more bandwidth, to where it is relatively mainstream. Sexually normative people now regularly use the term to identify themselves, despite its ideological and latently hostile origins. Language around female identity, in particular, has been commandeered and manipulated to further pro-transgenderism. Where second wave feminists coined the word “womyn” to signal social advocacy for females, fourth wave intersectional feminists introduced the world “womxn” which was quickly appropriated by the transgender community to include all people identifying as women, thereby stripping genetic females of a basic concept of identity. Other feminist-specific concepts have been usurped by transgender activists, including feminism itself, now transformed into “transfeminism,” and misogyny into “transmisogyny,” presuming interchangeability between females and males emulating females.

Transgender people are no different than other minority groups that advocate for their own interests and fair treatment in society, but like feminism before it, the ideological base of the transgender movement seems more interested in gaining power than correcting social wrongs and moving on. As a result, loose and ever-changing definitions that describe them and their causes are used to inflate the perception of their numbers. In using victim culture, especially via the internet, transgender advocates fan flames of manufactured outrage and offense to give an inflated perception of supposed bigotry against them. The remainder of the world is encouraged to walk on eggshells around the political sensitivities they create, to be overly accommodating and mindlessly accepting of their fantasy and rhetoric. Indeed, their institutional and social influence appears far too large for a group that comprises less than 1% of the population. With more than 99% of the population following binary sex norms, the attention and accommodation demanded by politically active transgender people should be irrelevant to the majority, yet the majority seems to have given them more space than they rightfully deserve. Reinforcement through political and corporate institutions, as well as media, has led to a naivete about the reality of their genetics, the limited capacity of performative changes to mask their genetics, and their rightful scale in society.

 

Transgender Subversion within the BDSM Community

It’s becoming increasingly clear that there is a sort of “transgender patriarchy” emerging from the transgender community. Genetic transgender males use their license and ideologically skewed information as validation to dominate the public face of transgenderism, appropriate female culture, and attempt to colonize hetero-normative spaces (yes, we’re using their own words in our critique, as they are, ironically, quite fitting). The BDSM world itself often seems a microcosm of the double-standards afforded them upon which they rely, leading to unchecked transgender male dominance in certain spaces. Where heteronormative men are usually expected to show some deference to females and curb their overt dominance, transgender men, we tend to notice, have no obligation to such limitations. Transgender men regularly present themselves as equal to, interchangeable with, if not even superlative to heterosexual females. With this comes a fusion of the double standards afforded women and a typical style of aggression attributed largely to male behavior. Surface level femininity, as much as is permitted by the male physique, is hyperbolized into the ultimate female appearance. Not having endured any of the trials of girlhood, female adolescence, and motherhood, they step confidently onto the path that genetic females already lived and carved out ahead. And, similar to most females in BDSM and D/s culture, they posture as sexily-masked dominant individuals seeking worship behind labels like “princess,” “doll,” and “goddess.” A frequent factor with transgender men posturing as submissive females is to discover they are switches who fluctuate between surface level dominance and submission as means of acquiring opportunistic sex.

Viewing themselves as interchangeable with genetic females or even as better options, transgender men enter heteronormative spaces in the D/s world expecting acceptance with little apparent reservation. This takes a particularly ironic and bizarre turn in the world of male supremacy or otherwise hetero-normative dominance and submission. Having little sense of boundaries or ability to differentiate themselves from genetic females, transgender men, from time to time, enter communities such as Humbled Females, presuming the collective will accept them as females and that, therefore, they will exist and interact in the community as if they were not a male. The irony of such hubris is lost on them in the world of male dominance and female submissiveness. They do not seem to understand that their own unerasable male characteristics are at the very root of their false presumptions about being female or being accepted as such. Upset, flouncing, or an otherwise dramatic retreat are often the responses the give when confronted by the larger community attempting to gently point this reality out.

 

Overview

Men have historically determined the arc of history for our species. In the last 60 years of western culture, feminism has re-orchestrated social and political control to artificially propel women and shift power. However, male dominance, as timeless as it seems to be, finds men adapting to conquer the brave new world feminism created. From the way we see it, there is much irony here in that transgender men have used gynocentrism as a sort of Trojan Horse to usurp feminine value and its advocacy. Additionally ironic, the recent emergence of the ideological war between transgenders and “trans-exclusionary radical feminists” (TERF’s) confirms some of the foundational tenets of the Humbled Females community, in that the lines between male and female are to be defended. Especially in our feminist-friendly world where masculinity in males and femininity in females—the very foundations of heterosexuality—are both under attack, transgenderism contributes to those same erosions in its current ideological state. Our position at Humbled Females is one of compassion and understanding for those who sense they do not inhabit the sex they were born with. To those limited numbers of human beings living today, they have our recognition and empathy. But given the nature of our beliefs, we cannot help but also cherish and hold dear what seems to be nature’s design of men and women, no matter how indelicate nature has made it out to be.  Where we draw a line in the sand lies in the dangerous and superficial trends of transgender activism and culture today. Its propaganda, noxious influence, poisoning of language, despoiling of reason, and most of all, corrupting of our youth, to the degree that it even causes bodily mutilation and harm to our children, is wholly, completely, and unequivocally unacceptable. We see no way to proceed peacefully with the absurd demands of such extreme fantasists, for to concede ground with them is to commit to lies that are self-evident, and this will certainly do us harm. Our contention is one set against an irreconcilable contradiction: that one cannot hold sex sacred and at the same time hold it utterly meaningless. Said another way, one cannot serve two masters: either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and abandon the other. This is the sociopolitical vice that militant transgenderism and its insistent drive to erase the sexual binary has us in, and we see no alternative but to voice our opposition to normalizing the destruction of the reality of sex itself. We will not go gently in this fight. We will preserve what we know to be true, instinctively, scientifically, even philosophically. That doesn’t mean we insist, unlike the transgender movement, that everyone has to play along with our assertions of reality, only that the majority continues to acknowledge the simple reality of a sexual binary we will never escape until we have transcended our carbon-based humanity.

 

1. https://www.genome.gov/genetics-glossary/Y-Chromosome
2. https://www.genome.gov/genetics-glossary/X-Chromosome
3. See our about section: https://humbledfemales.net/about
4. Shrier, Abigail. Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters (p. 133). Regnery Publishing. Kindle Edition.
5. Shrier, Abigail. Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters (pp. 126-127). Regnery Publishing. Kindle Edition.
6. Joyce, Helen. Trans: When Ideology Meets Reality (p. 757). Oneworld Publications. Kindle Edition.
7. Betsy Greer. “Craftivism.” Encyclopedia of Activism and Social Justice. 2007. SAGE Publications.
8. Joyce, Helen. Trans: When Ideology Meets Reality. Oneworld Publications. Kindle Edition.

An older female is introduced to some foundational mantras, accompanied by painful somatic accentuation à la the signal whip. Following a period of shackled isolation upon a dog bed in the basement, new female Cookie is summoned to a crude whipping post and taught thereafter the rudimentary logic of her place as a humbled female. “Learning is not child’s play; we cannot learn without pain,” Aristotle once said, and this wisdom is lavishly employed in the way the mantras are driven by rote into Cookie’s mind, aided with the fire of the whip upon her derrière and back. This video demonstrates the reality of a woman undertaking the whip. The strokes are by no means gentle and there is no theatrical deception in this video’s production. Every lash and every mark is real. For those interested in observing the effects of the whip upon flesh for the first time, we feel this video does very well in showing them, sans gimmick or pretense in a raw and straightforward format.

An older female is introduced to some foundational mantras, accompanied by painful somatic accentuation à la the signal whip. Following a period of shackled isolation upon a dog bed in the basement, new female Cookie is summoned to a crude whipping post and taught thereafter the rudimentary logic of her place as a humbled female. “Learning is not child’s play; we cannot learn without pain,” Aristotle once said, and this wisdom is lavishly employed in the way the mantras are driven by rote into Cookie’s mind, aided with the fire of the whip upon her derrière and back. This video demonstrates the reality of a woman undertaking the whip. The strokes are by no means gentle and there is no theatrical deception in this video’s production. Every lash and every mark is real. For those interested in observing the effects of the whip upon flesh for the first time, we feel this video does very well in showing them, sans gimmick or pretense in a raw and straightforward format.

Penny is trained to assimilate some core operating premises with the aid of two useful technologies. The goal is simple: to make her a better submissive female under a strict doctrine. The medium of pleasure: a remote controlled vibrator. The medium of correction: a canine shock collar. Using these devices in tandem during rote programming incentivizes the process of learning. When the female states a programmed value correctly, she receives a pleasurable reward nestled deep inside her sex, forming a sensual pleasure bond; when she fails to state a programmed value correctly, she receives a mild shock from the dog collar, encouraging her away from lack of focus during programming. The only path available for her mind is the one illumined for her. The incentive and punishment combination has its peaks and valleys, as Penny experiences in this video.

Penny is trained to assimilate some core operating premises with the aid of two useful technologies. The goal is simple: to make her a better submissive female under a strict doctrine. The medium of pleasure: a remote controlled vibrator. The medium of correction: a canine shock collar. Using these devices in tandem during rote programming incentivizes the process of learning. When the female states a programmed value correctly, she receives a pleasurable reward nestled deep inside her sex, forming a sensual pleasure bond; when she fails to state a programmed value correctly, she receives a mild shock from the dog collar, encouraging her away from lack of focus during programming. The only path available for her mind is the one illumined for her. The incentive and punishment combination has its peaks and valleys, as Penny experiences in this video.

Sometimes polishing up the kitchen or running a vacuum through the living room can give a female a sense of satisfaction and a little extra pep in her step, but there are days when these tasks take on a different feeling: mounds of laundry and hundreds of square feet to dust can suddenly be overwhelming, even depressing. At Humbled Females, we believe females should be encouraged to embrace their domestic responsibilities with positivity, obedience, and mindful enthusiasm. Housework should be a pleasure, and there is a training method we recommend that takes this literally. To reinforce a healthy psychology around housework, we recommend creating a connection between domestic labor and sexual stimulation, making the experience erotic. With enough conditioning through repeated sessions, the female will associate housework with sexual arousal, triggering a conditioned sexual response (CSR). The resulting pleasure reward of this method has an obvious utility: to reify the female’s domestic responsibilities as positive, insuring she finds stimulation in housework, which in turn makes her more productive and a better slave. Marc Esadrian trains Ginger in this method using a Bluetooth-controlled remote vibrator that is easily managed from a smart phone. Ginger’s routine culminates with an intense focus on her work and a resulting orgasm at day’s end.

Sometimes polishing up the kitchen or running a vacuum through the living room can give a female a sense of satisfaction and a little extra pep in her step, but there are days when these tasks take on a different feeling: mounds of laundry and hundreds of square feet to dust can suddenly be overwhelming, even depressing. At Humbled Females, we believe females should be encouraged to embrace their domestic responsibilities with positivity, obedience, and mindful enthusiasm. Housework should be a pleasure, and there is a training method we recommend that takes this literally. To reinforce a healthy psychology around housework, we recommend creating a connection between domestic labor and sexual stimulation, making the experience erotic. With enough conditioning through repeated sessions, the female will associate housework with sexual arousal, triggering a conditioned sexual response (CSR). The resulting pleasure reward of this method has an obvious utility: to reify the female’s domestic responsibilities as positive, insuring she finds stimulation in housework, which in turn makes her more productive and a better slave. Marc Esadrian trains Ginger in this method using a Bluetooth-controlled remote vibrator that is easily managed from a smart phone. Ginger’s routine culminates with an intense focus on her work and a resulting orgasm at day’s end.

Bitch Bailey is collared and chained to a thick wooden pole in a modernized refurbished mill building apartment. Placed in the hall leading to an open and spacious living room, the pole’s location was a perfect coincidence, providing no privacy. The polished concrete floor makes her time spent there uncomfortable as she awaits her appointment with the whip. The thick metal collar and heavy chain compliments her coiling musculature: the perfect image of the “strong, empowered” female suitably kept humbled and obedient. The time leading up to and after being stretched upon the whipping post provides an excellent frame of time to reflect upon her mistakes in exposed discomfort. Only when her master is content with her penance is she released from the post and allowed the dignity of sleeping in her cage again.

Bitch Bailey is collared and chained to a thick wooden pole in a modernized refurbished mill building apartment. Placed in the hall leading to an open and spacious living room, the pole’s location was a perfect coincidence, providing no privacy. The polished concrete floor makes her time spent there uncomfortable as she awaits her appointment with the whip. The thick metal collar and heavy chain compliments her coiling musculature: the perfect image of the “strong, empowered” female suitably kept humbled and obedient. The time leading up to and after being stretched upon the whipping post provides an excellent frame of time to reflect upon her mistakes in exposed discomfort. Only when her master is content with her penance is she released from the post and allowed the dignity of sleeping in her cage again.

“The crop is a very convenient tool of punishment. Easy to wield and implement, it is my primary method of physical correction. The small and easy to control signal whip comes in at a close second, but what I like about the crop is its rigidity, allowing very little effort to use in close quarters, and without the problems of wrap-around that the whip presents. For more formal (and severe) punishments, the whip is much preferred, but the crop is an ideal go-to implement for use on the fly. It can be plied lightly and accurately for gentle reminders, such as the one pictured here, or with tremendous severity, rendering angry red welts upon the skin. In either case, it will get your girl’s attention.”

—Marc Esadrian

“The crop is a very convenient tool of punishment. Easy to wield and implement, it is my primary method of physical correction. The small and easy to control signal whip comes in at a close second, but what I like about the crop is its rigidity, allowing very little effort to use in close quarters, and without the problems of wrap-around that the whip presents. For more formal (and severe) punishments, the whip is much preferred, but the crop is an ideal go-to implement for use on the fly. It can be plied lightly and accurately for gentle reminders, such as the one pictured here, or with tremendous severity, rendering angry red welts upon the skin. In either case, it will get your girl’s attention.”

—Marc Esadrian

Niki serves Marc Esadrian a quick afternoon lunch. But quick isn’t always simple. The tasks of a humbled female involve domestic talent, mindfulness, attention to detail, and sufficient passion to provide a seamless and pleasurable experience for the man of the home. This does not always lead to a smooth experience for the female, especially one who may be new and lacks a necessary level of discipline and learned attentiveness. Master might like his pasta a certain way: get distracted for only a few moments with other preparations, like setting the table perfectly, lighting the candles, and preparing the wine, and you might miss the al dente window. Having to start the preparations of the food all over again will result in him waiting longer, which is never a good thing! This example is one of many, but easily illustrates that being a good humbled female is about living in a state of intensely submissive mindfulness. It’s fulfilling and even fun at times embracing this state, but it brings its deceptively subtle challenges, nonetheless, keeping her nimble and light-footed as she remembers all the fragments of good service, putting them together in precisely the right ways at the right times, learning to move with grace and quietness with a collar of steel around her delicate neck and the possibility of the whip, should she err.

Niki serves Marc Esadrian a quick afternoon lunch. But quick isn’t always simple. The tasks of a humbled female involve domestic talent, mindfulness, attention to detail, and sufficient passion to provide a seamless and pleasurable experience for the man of the home. This does not always lead to a smooth experience for the female, especially one who may be new and lacks a necessary level of discipline and learned attentiveness. Master might like his pasta a certain way: get distracted for only a few moments with other preparations, like setting the table perfectly, lighting the candles, and preparing the wine, and you might miss the al dente window. Having to start the preparations of the food all over again will result in him waiting longer, which is never a good thing! This example is one of many, but easily illustrates that being a good humbled female is about living in a state of intensely submissive mindfulness. It’s fulfilling and even fun at times embracing this state, but it brings its deceptively subtle challenges, nonetheless, keeping her nimble and light-footed as she remembers all the fragments of good service, putting them together in precisely the right ways at the right times, learning to move with grace and quietness with a collar of steel around her delicate neck and the possibility of the whip, should she err.

“Another gallery brought back by popular demand. Household cleaning isn’t just a chore to get through: it’s something I expect my slaves to immerse themselves in. Plying the mind and body to this thankless domestic drudgery is a time-honored tradition among females in every major civilization, and in my home, this sexist tradition continues: helping to make my world beautiful is an act of service and devotion. Kept nude and barefoot, she is reduced, humbled, and efficient in her labor, her senses enlivened. Her feet feel the floor for crumbs and debris as she walks, her hands are trained to feel, wipe, polish, and scrub, her body in intimate union with the atmosphere of the house. Her exposed flesh is made available for immediate correction, should she so deserve it, and her holes are open for use without notice.”

—Marc Esadrian

“Another gallery brought back by popular demand. Household cleaning isn’t just a chore to get through: it’s something I expect my slaves to immerse themselves in. Plying the mind and body to this thankless domestic drudgery is a time-honored tradition among females in every major civilization, and in my home, this sexist tradition continues: helping to make my world beautiful is an act of service and devotion. Kept nude and barefoot, she is reduced, humbled, and efficient in her labor, her senses enlivened. Her feet feel the floor for crumbs and debris as she walks, her hands are trained to feel, wipe, polish, and scrub, her body in intimate union with the atmosphere of the house. Her exposed flesh is made available for immediate correction, should she so deserve it, and her holes are open for use without notice.”

—Marc Esadrian

Submissive bitch Niki learns the collar, leash, and bind in these classic Humbled Females images, re-posted upon request by the community. Some thoughts relevant to this gallery came to mind when posting it again. You can see in the photos that Niki is kept completely barefoot and nude during her leashing and collaring. This is quite intentional. It is the only way I train my females, especially the ones fit for sexual use. To be forcefully exposed, stripped down to their bare forms, given no material possessions, and restrained like animals inevitably makes them feel vulnerable and more amenable to humbling. It’s also quite pleasing to the male eye when this is practiced with a young and beautiful bitch, arousing his lusts and thus quickening his dominance. As the male of the household, remaining clothed around your female establishes an obvious visual (and psychological) difference in status. Remain so until you decide to penetrate.

Submissive bitch Niki learns the collar, leash, and bind in these classic Humbled Females images, re-posted upon request by the community. Some thoughts relevant to this gallery came to mind when posting it again. You can see in the photos that Niki is kept completely barefoot and nude during her leashing and collaring. This is quite intentional. It is the only way I train my females, especially the ones fit for sexual use. To be forcefully exposed, stripped down to their bare forms, given no material possessions, and restrained like animals inevitably makes them feel vulnerable and more amenable to humbling. It’s also quite pleasing to the male eye when this is practiced with a young and beautiful bitch, arousing his lusts and thus quickening his dominance.  As the male of the household, remaining clothed around your female establishes an obvious visual (and psychological) difference in status. Remain so until you decide to penetrate.

A small but sweet video clip displaying general bath service. Penny draws a bath and attends to her master diligently—a devoted servant to his body. We strongly encourage dominant males to spend some intimate alone time like this with their slaves, girls, or submissive wives. It’s a simple, yet effectively bonding moment, allowing the female to express another facet of her love and submission to the man she worships and adores.

A small but sweet video clip displaying general bath service. Penny draws a bath and attends to her master diligently—a devoted servant to his body. We strongly encourage dominant males to spend some intimate alone time like this with their slaves, girls, or submissive wives. It’s a simple, yet effectively bonding moment, allowing the female to express another facet of her love and submission to the man she worships and adores.

ex. It is, at once, our greatest pleasure and primordial curse, an animal contract we explore, suppress, exploit, and attempt escaping from one century to the next. The predominant source of this struggle rests in the fantasy of transcendence from the material—a wedge fashioned between flesh and spirit. Medieval canonical codes defining immoral and perverse sexual acts and thoughts resulted, naturally, in a heightened preoccupation with sex and sexuality in civilization down through the centuries—proliferating a distorted obsession with it in politics, psychiatry, medicine, and jurisprudence in Western society to this day.

Sex didn’t begin in 1963, as Philip Larkin’s poem Annus Mirabilis insinuates. We humans and our early ancestors have been having sex for millions of years without the need of religious or societal injunctions, but somewhere along that timeline we began to complicate it with exactly these things: superstitions, unrealistic religious dogma, and an obsession with medicalizing anything beyond the strict boundaries of enforced convention. This culminated in what might be called the darkest age of sexual dysfunction: the stifling conventions, ordinances, reticence, and crude science of the Victorian order. Once slipping out of its complete grip, we arrived upon the first relevant point of the sexual revolution’s modern timeline: the reform of the 1920’s, in which a focus on glamour, leisure, women’s suffrage, and the liberal mingling of the sexes were a part.

The post-World War II era of the 1950s ushered in the rise of suburban culture in America. Consumer production flourished, with Bernaysian advertisers selling an idealized way of life to men and women. If we look back to this often romanticized time captured in surviving film and print media, we see a very different world from our own. Its close ties between naive consumerism, conformity, and antiquated mores is, at once, quaintly charming and eye opening, and we see we see how far we’ve come. When people think about returning to traditional life, in fact, they often time travel back to this particular era in their minds, but in truth the beginnings of these values date back to…

ex. It is, at once, our greatest pleasure and primordial curse, a necessary animal contract we explore, suppress, exploit, and flee from one century to the next. The predominant source of this struggle rests in our unease with the magnetic pleasures of sex and the fantasy of transcendence from the material—a discordant wedge fashioned between flesh and spirit. Medieval canonical codes defining immoral and perverse sexual acts and thoughts resulted, naturally, in a heightened preoccupation with sex and sexuality in civilization down through the centuries, proliferating a distorted obsession with it in politics, psychiatry, medicine, and jurisprudence throughout Western society to this very day.

Sex didn’t begin in 1963, as Philip Larkin’s poem Annus Mirabilis insinuates. We humans and our early ancestors have been having sex for millions of years through the evolutionary merging of gametes…and the pleasure in all of this arrived long before we built our first religious or societal injunctions around it. But somewhere along the human timeline we began to complicate sex exactly with these things: superstitions, unrealistic religious dogma, and an obsession with medicalizing anything beyond the strict boundaries of enforced convention. This culminated in what might be called the darkest age of sexual dysfunction: the stifling conventions, ordinances, reticence, and crude science of the Victorian order. Once slipping out of its grip, we arrived upon the first relevant point of the sexual revolution’s modern timeline: the reform of the 1920’s, in which a focus on glamour, leisure, women’s suffrage, and the liberal mingling of the sexes were a part.

The post-World War II era of the 1950s ushered in the rise of suburban culture in America. Consumer production flourished, with Bernaysian movers and shakers selling an idealized way of life to men and women. If we look back to this often romanticized time captured in surviving film and print media, we see a very different world from our own. Its close ties between naive consumerism, societal conformity, and antiquated mores is, at once, quaintly charming and eye opening; we see how far we’ve come. When people think about returning to traditional life, in fact, they often time travel back to this specific era in their minds, but this is somewhat of a sham: much of the image we fondly look back upon from that era was a construct of political and commercial influence. The real beginnings of these values date back to Republican Motherhood in the 18th century,¹ something little known and much less hearkened back to as it fades from our collective memory. Nonetheless, the post-war rebirth of suburban idealism and the conservatism of the times created a society of distinct adherence to convention, ripe for change and escape from mind control. And so began the great sexual revolution of the 1960s. The spirit of the revolution was well-meaning, and looking back, I can’t help but admire the times. The bra burning, the hedonistic pursuit of open love, the advent of the birth control pill, rebellious rock music, and the popularity of mind-altering drugs ushered in a new era whose time had come. “Beatlemania” gripped the hearts of young teenage baby-boomer girls. The end of that decade saw the Stonewall riots, in which lesbian and gay activists clashed with police in protest over their continued harassment.² America, and Western society overall, underwent a massive ethical revolution during these times, at the heart of it all a war for the soul of sex itself. For sex was no longer a reason to moralize about decency and matrimonial obligation, but fast becoming a medium of expression—a conduit through which the younger generations would claim liberation from the grip of tight conformity.

 

The Emergent Problem

Modernity, it’s quite fair to say, is sexually liberated. The evolving sexual dialectic, the advent of the birth control pill, and the virtual religion of women’s rights has made us the most sexually open, sexually politicized, and sexually “empowered” we’ve ever been. Women have achieved complete social equality with men. The fetters of rigid convention, matrimonial or otherwise, have dissolved. The rights of sexual minorities, like lesbians, gay men, and transsexuals, take up much more of our public discourse and focus than ever before. And yet with the growing political tensions between men and women, gay and straight, and trans vs. “cis,” a question presses insistently: is there a point where this grand experiment of sexual revolution and its infighting evinces a darker side? Have we overlooked something on that count?

I never considered that possibility much when I was younger, growing up in the seventies and eighties. I was raised under Catholicism, a faith that burdens one with guilt over the inane notion of inherited original sin, and when I left the church at the age of sixteen I naturally aspired to be a “sexual deviant.” I say this tongue-in-cheek, but only partially. Bearing witness to many couples trapped in dysfunctional or otherwise dead-end marriages, and surrounded by a milieu locked in stiff, square-headed moralities, I became an open-minded advocate for what one might call extreme sexual freedom. I’m still such an advocate in many ways. I have absolutely no interest in policing sex. Like most readers, I suspect, I am open to accepting nearly all forms of sexual expression, providing they don’t involve the unwilling or create victims of horrible abuse. It costs nothing to join hands and support gay, lesbian, and bisexual intimacies. It’s easy, right, and good to support men and women exploring the bounds of sexual conventions and complacencies. While I can still say this confidently, a tone of caution has crept into my thinking about where this liberality has brought us and where it’s all going over the next few decades.

It is here I will turn to the current times shaping the personalities of younger human beings—the female variety, in particular. An entire article could easily be written (and will be) concerning young males and the challenges they face today, but in this article I will be focusing upon our daughters, their relationships with modernity, and the prickly subject of sex and sexual identity politics. It is, I suspect, no mystery to the readership that how girls are raised and perceived is an ongoing fascination in larger culture, accelerated by progressive social engineering, of which an audacious feminism and its influences are inextricably a part. This modern feminism should concern those of us who raise female children or have influence over them in some way. The future of women and the way the sexes will continue to interrelate in the inertia of this poisonous (if fashionable) movement is important to those within our specific subculture, too, for not all of us are established with our own wives, submissive females, or otherwise luminous helpmates. Further, the quality of available females for men in the future is of increasing concern. Raising well-adjusted, sane, and overtly feminine females, free of the vitriol of the gender war hysteria, should be immensely important to us if we value a future in which the sexes will relate well. From where I stand today, the prospects for those men who search for women, who are actualized in their feminine instincts or are at least open to them, seem to be quickly dwindling.

The part under particular assault in femininity today is the traditional aspect—the one in which submissiveness is thoughtfully taught, idealized, and honed. Clearly, this is all by design. Female youth is clawed and steered, consistently, in confusing directions, but the enduring waypoint, as it turns out, is far afield from submissivity or any traditional model that would encourage them to embrace classical femininity. The agenda we hear and see today is one of feminist-inspired empowerment and consumable solipsism for little girls. They are coddled by modern media, corporate marketing, educational institutions, and surrounding culture. They are told to stand tall, sneer, and emulate masculine power to degrees that are well and above destructive to notions of traditional girlhood. They are encouraged, openly, to deviate from heteronormativity and view men as agents of a vile patriarchy that has enslaved them for centuries—a concept that has been ground into the minds of our youth for several generations now. If you question the validity of such bold claims, consider the outrageously bolder ones published by NBC News, a major news outlet, decrying heterosexuality as not only a grand conspiracy of the patriarchy and detriment to women, but also, quite simply, “not working.”

In this bizarre article, penned by a managing editor at Stanford University with a PhD, no less, we read such pearls of wisdom as, “historically, women have been conditioned to believe that heterosexuality is natural or innate,” or, “absconding from responsibility is the quintessential strategy of the patriarchy; it’s how men stay in control and never lose their power.” Miley Cyrus herself is quoted in the above article, stating, “being someone who takes such pride in individuality and freedom, and being a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community, I’ve been inspired by redefining again what a relationship in this generation looks like.” This is the same Miley Cyrus who paraded across the screen as a child actress in “Hanna Montana,” a progressive children’s sitcom that premiered on the Disney Channel in 2006, influencing its share of young girls who are now, as of the date of this article’s publishing, in their late teens and early twenties. Her powers of persuasion with the young are obvious, and worth thinking about, to say the least.

The above is but one recent example of the indefensible madness of modern feminism, a willful propaganda that angrily excoriates maleness and encourages misandrist culture with its conspiracy fantasies. And the problem seems to just be getting worse. Girl power anthems are ubiquitous, from morning cartoons of childhood to manufactured university protests in young adulthood, to the increasingly warped politics (and politicians) that run our nation states. Supporting it all, the cynical manipulation of an opportunistic corporate America carries on, but now in a different light. Where it once overtly glamorized male chauvinism in the 1950s, it now obsequiously traffics in feminist propaganda, revealing it has no loyalty to any specific world vision, save the capitalist one. Their mercenary crosshairs are now, it turns out, trained on men. Heterosexual men, to be more specific. In our current times, it’s perfectly acceptable for corporations like Gillette to release a virtue-signaling commercial attacking the notion of masculinity itself. After losing eight billion in sales, the corporate giant immediately changed its tune, but wouldn’t offer an apology for attempting to play the progressive card in its advertising.³ While Gillette’s correction is welcome, its initial effort to engage in such brazen advertising propaganda is, without doubt, a sign of the times. But these organizations, as powerful as they are, do not serve as the locus of the madness. That blame lies in the influences of the sexual revolution and the noxious brand of feminism that followed. Cynical activist drives, commercial pandering, and cautious corporate policies, in a bid to gain an economic edge through virtue signaling and “wokeness,” are increasingly female-focused, gay-centric, and gender fluid, putting us in a strange sort of corporatized sociosexual vice of political correctness.

But the results of the revolution that started in the sixties are not solely confined to defeating the largely imaginary enemy of patriarchy and glorifying the female sex as a sacred victim: the drive behind the revolution was also an effort to remove the differential of sex itself and replace it with a weaponized conception of gender ideology, a belief system asserting sex is merely a social construct. The concept of gender, or the modern slant on it today that we’re now saddled with, teaches that every individual has a gender identity in the brain that may not be the same as that person’s biological sex. This reasoning leads to the notion that gender identity is “more real” than the biological reality of someone’s sex, despite the absence of anything remotely scientific in support of this. In a timely display of lucid and plain-spoken confession, political and cultural historian, author, and reformed “gender historian” Christopher Dummitt wrote an article on Quillette, an online magazine, in which he admits his findings while researching social constructionism, especially in the subject of the reality of biological sex, were baseless, albeit catchy.⁴ “I insisted that there was no such thing as sex,” he writes. “There’s nothing so certain as a graduate student armed with precious little life experience and a big idea. And now my big idea is everywhere. It shows up especially in the talking points about trans rights, and policy regarding trans athletes in sports. It is being written into laws that essentially threaten repercussions for anyone who suggests that sex might be a biological reality. Such a statement, for many activists, is tantamount to hate speech.”

In closing his article, Dummitt provides a parting warning about the field of sex vs. gender: “My own flawed reasoning was never called out—and, in fact, only became more ideologically inflected through the process of peer review. Until we have seriously critical and ideologically divergent scholarship on sex and gender—until peer review can be something more than a form of ideological in-group screening—then we ought to be very skeptical indeed about much of what counts as ‘expertise’ on the social construction of sex and gender.”

That confession is all well and good now, but as Dummitt points out, the damage is already done, and adherents of the idea won’t go down easily. The assault on heterosexuality today and anything smacking of traditional norms is clear, present, and at times hyper aggressive. LGBT activism, co-opted by the junk science of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (Wpath) has infiltrated peer-reviewed research to question the very reality of sex itself,⁵ something that cozily plays into the hands of modern feminist goals attempting to discredit accepted differences between men and women.

The fallout and continued damage from this warped pseudoscience is of particular concern to parents today, or should be, as the focus has turned to politicizing children and their “gender markers.” Today we are clearly manufacturing transgender children, given the viral spread of these concepts in media and online. Young boys and girls with “gender dysphoria” are encouraged to explore hormone therapy at alarmingly early ages. In June 2017, the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law estimated about 150,000 teens, from age thirteen to seventeen, identified as “trans.”⁶  In sync with these statistics, there is a concomitant rise of children and teens seeking hormone therapies and reassignment surgeries.⁷

We assume we’re living post-sexual-revolution, but that’s a precarious miscalculation to make. What we’re seeing instead is its ongoing evolution, if not outright mutation, long after it has overstayed its welcome—a dubious second phase, perhaps unintended, set in motion by those who simply wished to free us from the confines of rigid scriptures and strict adherence to the nuclear family regime. The effort to loosen us from those influences had some merit, but from where I stand, the pendulum has swung much too far in the direction of something closely resembling insanity, foolishly attempting to rewire notions of gender roles and denying the very existence of sex itself. In lockstep with feminism, a movement that lurches toward greater psychopathy in attempting to justify its own continued existence, I see this ongoing revolution, cynically commercialized and politicized, as a poison visited upon our girls today by the deeply entrenched extreme political left. It seems to me that as parents or guardians of young girls we must come to recognize these noxious influences and counter them in thoughtful and decisive ways, lest we lose our children to the delusions, misconceptions, propaganda, and willful fabrications of social engineering and its dubious designs.

To recap, I have observed three troubling developments in modern society thus far:

First, Western civilization has normalized sexual hedonism to such a degree that it has acquired a corruptive effect. Across a large sample of countries, the socioeconomic liberation of women is positively correlated with higher availability of sex.⁸ Traditionally, females represent the suppliers in the economics of sex and men constitute the demand. When supply outnumbers demand, female sexual market value goes down. Feminist and social constructionism, based in the field of political science, has pushed the agenda of a fast and lose “sex-positive feminism” for decades since its coinage by Ellen Willis,⁹ wherein girls are encouraged to openly embrace their sexualities, support licentiousness and prostitution, and engage in activist rallies, such as “slut walks.” We have seen its effects, particularly in young adult girls who have become more sexually mercantile than any other generation preceding them. Meanwhile, the rise of strenuous focus on career goals for young females, university tuition costs, and the scourge of homelessness among college students has pressed young females into the quasi-prostitution of “sugaring,” selling sex for financial support and thus increasing female sexual supply without the premise of intimacy. Beyond this, extremely liberal attitudes about sex and an arguably unhealthy focus on materialism and self have led to a rise in narcissism in both sexes. Millennials, for instance, have been described as the “me, me, me generation.”¹⁰ So while sexuality is more liberated than ever before in history, the current attitudes and entitlements of reproductive-age females doesn’t bode well for men seeking more traditional women as mates.

Second, the sex revolution has obscured the scientific understanding of sex through gender deconstruction. The revolution of sex in the 1960s brought about a watershed of sexual expressions, freedoms, and ideas—not all of them wholesome. The gender constructionist theorists arose as the worst byproduct of the revolution. They claimed (and still claim, adamantly) that binary of sex was little more than a societal coincidence, if not a conspiracy fantasy of a malignant patriarchy. Many in Western society today have blindly accepted what would have been laughed away just a few generations ago: that gender norms are socially constructed and can be adopted by any individual through choice. This concept found its origins in the radical feminist intellectualism of Simone de Beauvoir in the 1950s, and has been embraced by left-leaning ideologues ever since.¹¹

With deeper entrenchment into the university thought complex, and further penetration into the social and psychological sciences, this extremely flawed, unscientific, and ideologically manufactured idea has gained far too much traction, not only among the general populace, but in such institutions as the American Psychological Association.¹² The garish effort to promote it persists against all reason, amplifying the sexual revolution’s darker side by undermining the scientific foundation of male and female. This is the ultimate extension of feminist goals for the new religion of equality. For if sex is accepted as malleable, human nature will be considered infinitely so, and this will serve as justification for endless attempts to reshape and reprogram us.

Third, a pall of rigid feminist political correctness has been cast over all of society. That feminist ideology is an immense cultural pathogen influencing Western art, entertainment, education, business, and statesmanship is obvious at this point in time to all but the most blinkered by its apologia. Consumer capitalism has been opportunistically co-opted to make feminism slick and attractive, thus spreading its viral influence. Universities serve as finishing schools for young students who started with childhood indoctrination through entertainment programming. An increasing agitation for women’s “empowerment” can easily be seen in politics today—a mirror held to the masses, reflecting what they’ve been indoctrinated to politely applause. The excessive focus on female emancipation from wifely duties and traditional femininity, affirmative action in education and businesses, and the strange obsession with coddling female egos under the presumption that misogynist forces in society strive to oppress women, has resulted in a significantly polarized culture between the sexes that can no longer be dismissed as imaginary. In this divisive rage manufacturing, our daughters are cynically recruited and absorbed by the feminist monolith, infecting them with the hubris, outrage, anger, and defiance of its ceaseless victim narrative. Feminism isn’t about making females happy with themselves so much as it is about sowing discontent and distrust in them toward males, conditioning girls to be proud, capable exemplars while simultaneously perpetuating their narrative of victimhood. This is, clearly, confusing and damaging our girls. It puts inside them the glowing red-hot ember of rage and unrest, when they could instead be inspired to become calm and beautiful beings of life and love, embracing grace, art, sensuality, aesthetic, and true feminine power: the mystery of the maternal and the ability to follow one’s muse…or to be the muse of another.

While our surrounding culture may glorify the above trends, that is not to say we should accept them into our value systems or allow them to influence our family lives. If we truly believe in and embrace a way of life that puts men back in control of their women and the family, if we believe that the archetype of femininity is not a mere accident of civilization or biology, for that matter, we should reject these influences out of hand and as wholly as possible while still being productive members of the civilizations to which we belong. I’m not advocating a return to old and outdated orthodoxies or golden ages that, upon rigorous examination, never really were. I am taking, I hope, pieces of wisdom from the past and advocating their application to the present, for the notion our ancestors got everything wrong about the sexes is the height of modern vanity, and one that has churned out a reprehensible coterie of thought leaders entrenched in our universities, halls of state, and celebrity subculture. I think there are many things we could learn from studying the traditional ways of the sexes—the world before so-called sex revolutions, smarmy commercial pandering, and the gentle, gradual brainwashing of social networks. Having thought of these things and having seen the carnage in the wake of modern living and its politics, and further still having observed and participated in child rearing that is sane, I have a few suggestions for others on how to raise young girls well, with their mental health most importantly in mind. The outside messages of surrounding popular culture, left unchecked and unfiltered in this age, bring with them energies of confusion and corruption for our youth. Of this I am certain. But it also seems clear that we’re stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place: we cannot retreat back into a romanticized golden age of the fifties, and yet the sex politics of modern life are psychopathic, out of touch, and quite unsustainable. We must rebuild family life by keeping the war of the sexes squarely out of it. We must focus upon our children by truly instilling in them what values we find most laudable, not let society shape them for us. In particular, the development of our girls is of vast importance, as they are the future gatekeepers of sex and the mothers of generations yet to come.

 

The Proposed Solution

Of theoretical remedies to this increasing unease many of us feel, the main one is this: we must, where we can, see male and female return to understanding simple and intuitive concepts of femininity and masculinity. Of girls, specifically, I would suggest seeing them raised to become sweet, polite, and empathic young ladies, not moving through the world with the common sickness of vanity and hubris that inevitably results in a focus on “empowerment,” but with the grace and true humility that has classically marked the female sex. If this can be accomplished, all the while holding on to the good of sexual openness and a true embrace of our modern liberties to live and behave as we wish and not as the state would have us, we will accomplish as near a perfect harmony between the sexes as possible. I believe deeply that if you let human beings be what they are, they will remain so, no social engineering required. In the very least, we must stop at some point and seriously ask ourselves if we should continue to let this cultural landslide maintain its course, or, instead, take back the future of our children and shield them from the noxious influences of the current establishment. The situation is growing ever more dire, it seems to me, and we must take bold actions to correct the course of the feminine, and by association, the masculine, before it’s too late for our own daughters. Below are my suggestions for deflecting the corrupt influences of feminist culture and putting the power back into our hands as parents.

 

Unplug Your Child from the Internet, or She’ll Unplug from You

Today we see a peculiar phenomenon: everyone seems obsessed with portable rectangular slabs of various sizes. They stare into their glowing screens, detached, at least partially, from the reality around them. By now, it’s quite clear that mobile device use is connected to a host of problems, such as stunted/dissociative social behavior, relationship conflict, car accidents, sleep loss, depression, lack of empathy, and an overall knack for missing the obvious in the physical world (like that imminent collision with a lamp post on the street as you check Twitter notifications).

But there’s a much more vital concern about excessive device use today: the healthy physiological and psychological development of children’s brains. The research today concerning the effects of device use on children is still not settled, but there is an emerging sense that the use of these devices isn’t always so good, especially their unmitigated use. Common Sense Media found that 72 percent of teens feel as though they need to immediately respond to notifications from their phone, and that 50 percent of teens feel addicted to their phones. 59 percent of parents felt their teens were addicted to mobile devices. A 2017 study found that higher “new media” consumption led to increased symptoms of depression and suicide. Jonathan Haidt, co-author of The Coddling of the American Mind, correlates the staggering rise of depression in “Generation Z” to the popular use of social media in 2011. Indeed, a study in the journal Pediatrics found a larger increase in depressive symptoms in girls than boys in more recent years, including trends in suicide in the United States. According to the study, cyber bullying may increase more dramatically among girls than boys. The reasoning makes sense: adolescent girls use mobile phones with texting applications more frequently and intensively than adolescent boys. Problematic mobile phone use among young people has been linked to depressed mood, in the very least.¹³ Combined with the indirect social violence that females tend to be so naturally gifted for (spreading rumors, gossip, and whisper campaigns), the effect can be fatal.

I know it’s easy to dismiss concerns about youth as what’s always typical when the older consider the younger. “The problem with kids these days,” goes the timeless lament. But certainly, something new and never seen before is afoot today. How older children and teenagers spend their time today is quite different from how they did decades ago in previous generations. At least, that’s what Jeane M. Twenge in The Atlantic concluded after her 25-year study of differences in the United States between generations. “Around 2012, I noticed abrupt shifts in teen behaviors and emotional states. The gentle slopes of the line graphs became steep mountains and sheer cliffs, and many of the distinctive characteristics of the Millennial generation began to disappear. In all my analyses of generational data—some reaching back to the 1930s—I had never seen anything like it,”she writes. “It’s not an exaggeration to describe iGen as being on the brink of the worst mental-health crisis in decades. Much of this deterioration can be traced to their phones,” Twenge later adds.

I realize that there have been recent studies refuting the ill effects of phone usage, declaring that we’re all just imagining this problem, but they should be held under extreme suspicion. I don’t think that phone technology alone is the only cause, but it is a part of the problem, and it does, as shown above, at least facilitate other negative influences. With everything taken into account, young children and young teens, it seems to me, shouldn’t be allowed to use these devices without strict adult supervision. With their close links to addiction, depression, and suicide cited by scientific studies alone, the mass focus upon phones and tablets, and the Internet culture, overall, is clearly a negative influence. Empirically, the evidence is even more obvious. Simple observation of people around you usually does well enough to point out the problem. It seems to me that, at some point, we really need to come clean and ask ourselves some difficult questions. Do we want our children addicted to these devices and the influences therein? Do we really want to invite the chance of social violence from public shaming and other misuses of publishing power levied upon our young girls? Do we want our own girls engaging in this cruelty, to boot? These devices are not only troublesome, but clearly robbing us of our natural human empathy.¹⁴ Aside from the empathy aspect, what these devices teach and what information is made available through them isn’t always so wonderful. Therein lies another general concern: past the statistics about depression, anti-social behavior, and suicide, there is the matter of the direct conduit formed between smarmy corporate media and your little girl’s brain. Do we want Taylor Swift’s shallow values taking precedent over the ones we’d rather instill as parents? Do we want our girls at a very young age to believe they have “gender dysphoria” because they’ve been learning about it on Youtube channels? Do we want our girls being programmed by feminist propaganda in countless videos and commercials, priming them for the leftist finishing school that is modern western university? Do we want our girls aspiring to be “insta hotties,” just like one of their peers, or do we want them obtaining their inspiration from their natural parents and the examples they set? These are things to contemplate deeply, considering the influence of the Internet.

Call the idea extreme, but having personally seen the effects of these devices on young minds, and the silent steamroller that social media can be in their lives, I believe children should be kept away from the regular use of phones and tablets until their mid-teens, when they have had time to develop their abilities to put the things they see and hear into realistic perspective, and to contrast outside messages against the things they’ve been taught and shown by their parents. Not doing so invites a massive conflict in rearing your children and extreme difficulty in teaching them the values you hold that don’t perfectly match the current accepted norms, that, increasingly, are anything but normal. Removing digital devices from your child’s life removes a massive conduit of troublesome influence, from political brainwashing to feminist-friendly corporate pandering, putting the power of instilling formative values and core world views back into your hands as a parent, where such influences really belong.

It bears mentioning, too, that device use is not a problem relegated only to the child’s end. Parents can be addicted and negligently distracted from interacting effectively with their kids, too, so take the time to unplug yourself and not be such a glaring hypocrite. Children need the attention of their parents, and adult addiction to technology can lead to a subtle, yet damaging, form of psychological neglect.¹⁵

 

Initiate a Full Retreat from Public Education

Keeping phones and other devices from the possession of your children is a big (and needed) step toward controlling the flow of influences and resultant behaviors in the home, but a great degree of the problem lies beyond the home and your capacity to monitor: school and the one-two punch of faculty-peer influence contained therein. Society at large adheres to a host of rigidly progressive dogmas about sex, widely embraced and enforced, along with the usual mission creep of progressive thought control. The contrasts between these modern directives and how we live/what we believe in the Humbled Females community becomes all the more obvious when the two worlds collide, and nowhere does that collision become more potentially apparent than when we send our children off to a public school, rife with leftist ideologues fresh out of university.

Public schools are institutions that enforce common mores, thinking, and values. Children in the surrounding area are dutifully dropped into this massive social blender and orientation processing center, where they mingle with peers and establish themselves as units of a social collective. In this collective, standards and norms are constantly reinforced, with the mandated sentiments children should hold regarding sex and the politics of the sexes chief among them. That collective spell is no trivial matter. Increasingly, public education is operated from and policed by a strong progressive authoritarianism, and one quite at odds with what people in our community who have much more traditional notions about sex roles, female submission, and male dominance have in mind. Teaching our young girls about classic femininity and inspiring them to exude these qualities will not find harmony with the politics of the majority, nor its public educational institutions run mostly by feminist busybodies. Indeed, the majority of workers in the helping professions, of which occupations like teaching and social work are a part, are female¹⁶ and elementary teachers, in particular, are overwhelmingly left-leaning.¹⁷ With such an imbalance between the sexes in these occupations, there is bound to be higher influences of feminist pedagogy, and there is. But it doesn’t end with feminist brainwashing, solely. Consider, also, that transgenderism is being introduced to children in elementary schools, supporting the narrative of “gender fluidity” in the very young.^{18 19}

As parents, guardians, relatives, and influencers, I think we need to take a very close and sober look at the public education establishment, and ask ourselves the following questions: Should children be encouraged to view the world through the feminist lens at early developmental ages, embracing its paranoid, conspiratorial, and misandrist slant on men and the destructive religion of self-aggrandizement it encourages in women and girls? Do you think that training children to use transgendered pronouns and believe in gender fluidity is mentally healthy or even logically tenable? If you answer no to both of these questions, then you have to concede that removing children from the public school system is necessary. By doing so, we nip the problem of childhood conformity to these memetic pathogens at the bud.

Competently teaching children in a home environment sets a consistent tone in the early years of their lives, reinforcing, also, the authority of the parent over the authority of the public institution, something that is, in and of itself, a vital lesson to teach. There’s a lot to unpack on that subject alone, but it’s suffice to say, I think, that conformity and obedience to institutions and monolithic thinking is not something we should prime our children so readily for. If they are indeed our children, let them be our children, not children of public education, children of their peers, children of the Internet, and all the other precarious virtual asylums of the world. There will come a time in the lives of our young ones when they will be free of our direct influence and authority, but for their formative years—years that are so very vital and precious—our desire as parents should be to teach them what we know to be true against the maelstrom of discordant and fiercely corruptive voices in society. We can teach them not only what to think, according to what we know accords with reality, but also how to think. We lead by example and create an environment where the lessons of life touch them organically. A gyro-scoping globe in a home can inform them about all the names of the land masses and countries in our world. Ink and paper can teach the increasingly lost art of how to write letters and figure numbers manually. But alongside this seamlessly turns the cycles of life in the security and comfort of home—where something indescribable is taught by listening to the rain meditatively in an open door, taking walks in the woods and marveling at the life found there, observing the shift of seasons, or learning the art of baking in between reading. In the home, we may parent the whole child, never subjecting her to the trends of organized thought control and the capricious abuse of childhood bullies and cliques. Put plainly, personalized learning is a tremendously powerful method of education and instruction.

While we may teach English, history, math and science competently enough with enough effort, what can be learned is by no means limited to these subjects alone. In the home, a child has the options to explore what interests them the most and learn about subjects not formally offered in public schools. A child may develop a special fondness for chemistry or some permutation of art or engineering that no public school will ever have the capacity to entertain. It is here where the Internet may be used effectively in a controlled fashion, allowing technology to enrich lessons and provide information that will be needed for higher learning. Lastly, the child is molded in the way we’d prefer, inheriting our beliefs and world views. This allows parent and child a continued bond, and lessens the chaotic disruptions of this bond in their teenage years.

 

Dethroning Daddy’s Little Princess

At Humbled Females, we sometimes talk at length about the entitlements and double standards women in modern society seem to adopt thoughtlessly and that people around them seem to accept with equal thoughtlessness. This conversation isn’t relegated to our community walls, however. At gatherings, parties, and cookouts, men will often gather and discuss the imperial petulance of their wives in a humorous way. Most of us have heard such conversations in progress at least once during a social event. Such men might even admit to being treated like little boys by their mates, of getting “in trouble” or being in the “doghouse” when they run afoul of their wives’ demands. This type of self-deprecating humor is commonly accepted, perhaps, out of the popular if not mistaken belief that this is how it really is for all men. When women overhear this sort of thing, there is often a sense of smug amusement. Social norms can often be startling to realize, especially in contrast to the ways of life we, in this community, tend to lead or at least idealize. But a quiet common horror is often sensed by the men who make jokes of themselves in this way. In private conversation, they are often upset with the double standards, the complaining, and the manipulation of their wives or significant others, and yet fail to see how the constant spoiling and obsequious treatment of their own daughters supports an ongoing legacy of these very problems.

The peculiar phenomenon I’ve observed for some time now is that it is fathers who are often to blame for the petulant behaviors of young girls. The same men who complain about their controlling wives can be seen coddling their daughters and running to attend every one of their needs, no matter how trivial or how snappish the demand. This inevitably becomes a developmental pathway through which the young female relates to males: she sees her doting father as a template for mate material in her later years. Is it any wonder, then, that with so many servile daddies in the world today we have seen a rise in egotistical, controlling, petulant, and manipulative females in the mating arena? Neither their education at university nor their professional accomplishments later in life seem to preclude their arrogantly neotenous dispositions, and the surrounding culture does absolutely nothing to correct them on this path of ugly selfishness. If anything, it encourages it, telling them they don’t even need men. The men who have the misfortune of entering these women’s lives in their twenties and thirties become embroiled in the solipsistic sexual politics of the female sex: they have no choice but to extend the coddling, lest they lose their “princesses” to more servile males. If we want to know the source of female entitlement, we’re certainly well served in looking at the social rot of cultural politics today, but we also don’t often need to look any further than the proud patriarch of the family, who is wrapped around his princess’s little finger.

As a father, it’s important to understand that your little girl is indeed seeing you as an example of an ideal man. You are her first sampling of adult maleness, and it’s crucial young females perceive their fathers and interact with them in ways that are respectful, loving, humble, and psychologically healthy. Seeing to this does not mean a father needs to be cruel or detached. Quite the opposite: little girls need the refuge of the masculine, and fathers are given to providing that refuge, especially for their female children. There is a special bond shared between father and daughter, but that bond can be used in a good or a harmful way. As fathers, the aim is to love but not coddle, to inspire but not spoil, to support but not shelter. Daughters need to know the bright lines of discipline as well as love. They need to know how to respect people, and especially the good in the authority of a man. In so learning, they will naturally respect the authority of the men they one day mate with. Any deviation from this is a step away from the femininity we idealize and a denial of the simple fact that women naturally prefer men they can respect and look up to—that this is part of what it means to be female and feminine. If you damage your daughter’s ability to respect men, you are, in a very tangible way, abusing her by robbing her of better futures and fulfillment in herself as a woman later on in life. So do put away the tiara, please. Let her bump up against the limits you set. Discipline her when she transgresses. Make her a little afraid of displeasing you. Teach her how to respect nature, respect her place in it, and above all, respect others. Teach her how to empathize in this day and age where youth seems to be loosing this ability. Be firm, and show her how to be a better young lady from your valuable perspective as her father. These lessons, deeply embedded, will last for a very long time—long enough to guide her into a much more productive and fulfilling adulthood.

 

On the Prurient Sugar Coating of Modern Teenhood

The very first suggestion made in this article was to unplug your little girl from the influences of the Internet. I do hope you take that suggestion seriously. Maybe you have every intention of doing so, or are at least exploring the idea. Certainly, if such exposure has already begun, rolling it back will require gradual steps and a good plan. But what if you are a little late to the task, and at this stage in your girl’s life she is fast approaching her teen years, or is already in them while having enjoyed a close relationship with mainstream media and the Internet? What if, like many parents this day and age, you just allowed unmitigated Internet consumption pour into your girl’s brain day after day, year after year, with hardly any interruption? You may be, at this point in the game, completely unaware of the influences your girl regularly interfaces with, and all the myriad steps she took to get to that place over the years of her wandering youth. You might not understand how graphically she was exposed to pornography, for instance, and how inevitable her desensitization to prurient material online became. Probing deep into the hedonistic culture of vain and hyper-sexualized woman worship seen in social media, music, books, ads, and movies, your daughter, once innocent, became another statistic of a pernicious mill, where girls learn, all too early, their sensual market value and perceived power. Granted, this process also happens in school, where girls begin to learn the sway they have over boys with their looks, but the neon party of the Internet is something new. It has a way of turning girls exceptionally jaded and mercenary, encouraging them to use their looks and sexuality to appeal to male interest and obtain a great sense of worth and power from this. This is easy to do, if you’re pretty. We see this in comparing the popularity of online divas to brilliant thought leaders and other talented personalities who only manage to earn a fraction of the women’s follower counts.

This isn’t a secret: countless girls are cashing in on their sex appeal online, as it is a very tempting form of currency. It gets them attention, earns them money or clout, and feeds their egos. Their posturing and posing in increasingly suggestive pictures shared on Instagram, for instance, may seem relatively juvenile and ultimately harmless for girls in this day and age, but it’s a mistake to take it so lightly: such places easily serve as gateways to other forms of exhibitionist behavior online. The Internet, as it were, is replete with numerous reservoirs by which a modern form of virtual prostitution thrives, much to the chagrin of traditional pornographers, escort agencies, and strip clubs. Places like “Chaturbate” allow freshly legal teens to casually lay about nude before a live audience and profit from doing so. All that’s needed is a web cam, Internet service, and a room in which to pose. A personal gallery and blog site, “Onlyfans” offers a slick venue by which girls can learn to publish themselves and acquire a sycophantic army of admirers. “iWantClips” and other sites like it allow movies and other media to be uploaded and sold, and even paid calls to be made from interested fans who wish to speak to the objects of their desires. None of these sites are hard to come by. It’s extremely easy to build profiles on these networks and begin partaking in the online sex trade.

But it doesn’t stop at the virtual. A new wave of sex worker has been generated from the glitzy, hyper-sexualized world of the Internet: the modern “sugar baby.” Ashley, 23, an interviewee in Nancy Jo Sales‘s article in Vanity Fair about the “new prostitution economy” goes on to moralize quite casually about the ubiquity of “sugaring” among young females: “Almost all of my friends do some sort of sex work,” she says. “It’s super-common. It’s almost trendy to say you do it—or that you would.” Jenna, 22, adds, “It’s not like you need a pimp anymore. You just need a computer.”

It is trendy and easy. The site “SeekingArrangement” (now shortened to “Seeking,” ever since the chilling effects of Backpage being removed) boasts 10 million members and spans more than 139 countries. There are dozens of slick sites like these that make whoring culturally acceptable and temptingly lucrative, and with the rise of outrageous student debt, more girls are pushed into this lifestyle out of necessity than trend alone.

I could go on for pages describing this affliction, but I’m certain I needn’t go into how toxic and corrupting these influences are in modern culture for young girls. And make no mistake about it, this is a pressing and far-reaching cultural phenomenon, the likes of which we’ve never quite seen before in this grand social experiment of ours. The numerous and accessible forms of prostitution may seem like blessings within the vacuous rhetoric of “sex-positive feminism,” but the reality is they are rendering our girls sexually jaded, narcissistic, and coldly mercenary, if not impossible to properly pair bond with. They learn at very early ages, long before they are allowed to engage in such commerce legally, that spinning false intimacies using their sex appeal is profitable and empowering. Where prostitution was once relegated (perhaps appropriately) to the shadows, now it has gone mainstream, turning our girls into vainglorious sex workers who sneer contemptibly at men and attempt to bilk them for all they’ve got. I contend that any parent who cares about his or her daughter should keep an extremely close eye on this trend in society and the ways it infects young adult minds. It’s in the quiet pools left between the spaces of life, wrought by parental absence and disconnect, where these diseases tend to take root and flourish the most. Girls left unwatched and uncared for will seek out attention online, and it is here the disease begins its course. Nip this problem at the bud by removing your girl’s need to find attention and support from other sources. Keep her close to you. Listen to her. Help her navigate the world compassionately and with good counsel, and keep a sharp eye on any Internet usage you allow her.

 

Better Examples, Better Girls

In this lopsided modern age where the worship of girl power has become so culturally pervasive, little girls (and boys, for that matter) have, increasingly, nothing to model that is counter to its malignant influence. The older generations that contain so much wisdom, experience, and grit from lives lived in another time are quickly going away, leaving in their absence a growing dearth of role models and sources of elder advice. Today, there is nothing to suggest that something more to male-female interactions exists beyond the mandate that a bland and polite sameness exists. After all, gender is nothing more than a social construct, they say. This is stifling to true human nature. As we have been well aware of in this community for some time, and researchers are just now beginning to discover to be the case in places like Scandinavia, allowing men and women to behave naturally results in natural differences in behavior. Where the greatest social equality between male and female has been achieved, we see this clearly demonstrated in that, contrary to popular expectations, men and women do not seek out the same goals, but instead show greater behavioral variance, as is typical according to their sex.²⁰ When complete equality between male and female is achieved, the result is something completely contradictory to what gender reconstructionists assume would happen: males and females gravitate toward gender-typical behavior more. In places where you allow the sexes choice, they naturally assume their male and female roles and interests.

All of this makes something quite clear: many of the differences in male and female gender behaviors are not constructed, but are, instead, genotypical to a large degree. When we allow males to be males and females to be females, sans sociopolitical pressure and media brainwashing, they choose sex-typical behaviors quite naturally. With this in mind, it seems clear to me that we should make certain the choice to be naturally feminine is at least made available to girls. They are, after all, inclined to follow that path of interest to begin with. By further encouraging it, we may steer them toward their natural interests and behaviors. We begin by modeling an ideal male-female dyad in the home through the living example of her parents. Let her see her mother openly submitting to her father, and let them not be subtle about it. This is not to say you must expose the child to explicit sexual scenery, of course, but that she see and understand the core differences between male and female in the home by way of the female parent deferring to the male parent. Respectfully. Lovingly. Let her see the close bond her parents share by enacting male dominance and female submission. Let her see the harmony and order it brings into the home, of how it resolves conflict and eliminates open argument. Let her see her mother being held accountable to her father when she fails or disobeys. Let her see and understand the good flow of things resulting from this order, where she, like her mother, submits to her father’s leadership and loving guidance. This leads to harmony in the home. Masculinity is not injured when dominant, and femininity is not injured when submissive. We cannot say the same when we reverse the roles.

The world we weave must be beautiful and pleasant. It must demonstrate peace and order, contrasting starkly against the turmoil of the outside world and the social malaise to which many families fall prey. The mother is vital in demonstrating this formative lesson, not only in serving as a healthy example of female submission to a man, but in gently and consistently guiding the daughter toward the arts and energies of the feminine. Teaching her how to dress feminine, how to comport herself with humility and respect toward others, and how to behave properly in the presence of her father is crucial in laying this foundation. Teach her by showing her, daily, the secrets of cooking and baking, of attending to bedding, laundry, sweeping, dusting, and other domestic responsibilities. Chores are, in fact, a very effective way of teaching responsibility. Make these moments special between mother and daughter. Let them be happy, rewarding times, not drab tasks that are tended to on resentful autopilot. Let her see and embrace the ordinary beauty in being wholesomely female, and part of a larger collective in her family.

 

The Importance of Place: Country Living is Best

There is nothing more important in life than where we find ourselves calling home, day after day. If this is true of adults, how much more so it is for the young? Where we live is a big part of how we ascend from childhood; it is integral to the spirit forged inside us as living beings. It seems to me that we are destined to arrive upon this fact while in deep reflection of what spirit we seek to infuse in our children as they grow up. With the current day sexual-political tensions as they tend to be, the parental dyad featuring a functioning (and thriving) heterosexual dominant male/submissive female relationship in Western society seems almost scandalous, even feral. The more tight-knit the community you live in tends to be, the more passively policed your activities become. Celebrated norms replicate themselves from one generation to the next, and the closer you live near large, conventional communities, the closer you are to their influences that dull and wear down the gentle call of nature. The garish neon distractions creep in.

Cities, as conveniently dense and connected as they may be, stand as the worst of these examples. They don’t easily offer an environment in which an appropriate level of isolation and focus can be fostered so as to enable young minds to learn and grow, free of malignant social pressures. The bustle and noise of urban life breeds, inevitably, urban culture. Urban life, celebrated as a large and dynamic repository of modern culture, provides far too many glossy inlets of subversive influence, often of the left-leaning variety, extolling influences we may put under the header of “non-tradditional values.” What we must contend with in such places is the ever-present social contagion of the in-vogue and its dubious messengers, potentially warping our childrens’ value systems through the seemingly benign vehicle of “culture,” as well as the stress and anxiety cities impose. Indeed, research has emerged linking urban living and urban upbringing with neural social stress in humans, showing mood and anxiety disorders are more prevalent in city dwellers.²¹

Suburbia is an improvement over the city, but its dense population and clustered sprawl of housing still structurally enforces the schedule of tight social norms through close proximity. These highly interconnected home communities provide a variety of family cultures and belief systems to which your children will be more intimately exposed. This diversity isn’t necessarily bad, but it may be very difficult to regulate the peers your children encounter, the family models they experience, and the resultant influences that fall upon them. These risks can be mitigated with careful observance of who your children associate with and what effects their new peers bring, but the effort will be intense and ongoing, and compromises in the strictness of your rules may need to be made. It will be difficult to insist on a life free of media and the Internet, for instance, if your child’s surrounding peers are fully integrated with such influences and apply social tension to join in. Those who don’t will likely be ostracized, obviously, and so a happy medium will likely need to be found, striking a balance between the two worlds.

The country offers the most ideal environment in which to raise your child. It provides a natural, peaceful setting, free of the stresses of modern urban life. This helps to make your child calmer, more focused, and lowers his or her risk of having anxiety disorders.²² Under the rocking canopy of trees or in the undulating meadow, amidst the melodies of bird songs and the weather, your child connects to nature, within and without. With your home nestled in a few acres of plush country real estate, there are less intrusions and far less nosy neighbors apt to intrude upon your life simply by glancing out a window. The peace, quiet, and privacy of the deeper country allows for a more lax way of living and a path to unconventional circumstances, far different from the social policing of tight-knit communities.

There are other, less obvious benefits of living in the country as well. Its rugged environment inevitably teaches self-reliance and a work ethic. Resourcefulness also comes to mind: nothing can be taken for granted when living in open, empty country, in which you must rely a little more upon determination and grit to get something done. You’re not conditioned to blithely over-consume and make an unnecessary waste of things.  You become intimately aware of your place in the world, the space you take up, and the clean air you’re breathing. You become “green” long before you’re aware of what the word even means, and quite naturally so. With the turning of the seasons, you are more connected to the earth. Who would not want these lessons passed down to their children?

 

On Maintaining a United Front

The most pernicious flaw in raising a child, aside from outright absence and neglect, surely has to be any undermining subterfuge between parents. When one parent secretly subverts the other’s image, authority, goals, or interests with the child, this leads to extremely damaging interpersonal issues between parents and children, and in even more extreme cases, alienation. In the relationships we idealize on Humbled Females, the chances of this being willfully done over a period of time are extremely low, but that’s not to say subtle cues and gestures can’t be sent unknowingly to children. Even in established dyads presumed to be happy, where both parents are, in their minds, united in fostering positive relationships between themselves and their children, they may still yet engage in behaviors that lead their children to feel they must pick sides and form alliances with one parent over the other. When this happens, the health of the relationship between the child and her parents degrades, and the influence of the parental pair is weakened. Doubt creeps into the child’s mind about her mother and father, and this is extremely erosive to the idea they are or should be legitimate authorities in her eyes. If mom and dad can’t reach consistent consensus, how can I fully trust what they say? That’s certainly not where we want to be as parents.

So what might be an example of transgressing against the rule of keeping a united front? It might come in the form or one parent overriding another. For instance, Julie really wants to have a candy bar from the pantry before dinner, but her father, upon stepping out the door, tells her she can have it afterward for desert. Julie shrugs and agrees. Several minutes later, she finds her mother and asks the same question, hoping to get a different response. The mother, unaware her daughter already asked the same question of her father, gives in and lets her eat a candy bar from the pantry. In this scenario, there was no ill intent from any of the parents toward each other, simply a lack of information that Julie knowingly exploited to her advantage. The lesson learned for Julie is that she can override one parent through the other.

We could imagine something much more intentional, too, like a mother openly questioning the child’s father in front of her, or insinuating there’s something wrong with the way he thinks. This creates an intentional imbalance in the relationship, where the daughter, in this example, is bonding with the mother through the act of resisting the father. As soon as either parent begins this sort of behavior, it’s never good for the child caught in the middle.

What do both examples of parental disharmony teach, overall? The answer seems to be nothing more than lying, manipulation, and mistrust—not good formative lessons to teach a child, wittingly or unwittingly. So what are some ways you can ensure you both of you will remain united under one common mission statement? I’ve listed a few below.

Be on the same page. It can’t be stressed enough that the man and woman must align fully in their respective beliefs, philosophies, and visions, or as fully as humanly possible. As we know within the Humbled Females community, this is much more likely if the couple has bonded through the dominant male/submissive female paradigm and the psychological processes that bring such minds together. But even here there can be exceptions some females attempt to place on that meeting of the minds—little islands of individualism they claim for themselves that prevent complete unity with the male and his goals and visions, among those his ideas about rearing of children. Any unlit corner of her mind—a place where she carves out for herself little spaces in which she disagrees with her man—will likely rear its head over the sensitive nature of child rearing. She may have some residual conventional (even feminist) beliefs and will react strongly to how her daughter is treated and raised by the man in the household, and this will, in time, create resistance in the mother. And no matter how gentle such resistance or defiance may be, it is erosive to the rule of a united front, and needs to be addressed prior to the couple conceiving of a child in the first place. So make double certain you both are on the same page, so to speak, about your visions and expectations where it concerns your relationship logic, and by extension, the logic of raising a child.

Communicate often and effectively. A breakdown in communication correlates intimately with the first point above. In order to align and ally properly, you must be in frequent, effective contact with your mate/wife/husband/master/slave. Two cannot possibly come together through silence or sharing imagined skills in telepathy: There must be a true convergence of mind between the male and female, not only for the sake of the dyad, but for what the male-female dyad is ultimately intended to produce: young. The best parents are those who keep in intimate alignment, and that is only possible through good communication. But communication isn’t just about sharing words; it’s about sharing ideas, experiences, emotions, and coming closer, as a whole, in this process. What is a good wife and husband? What is a good parent? What is “good”? All of communication hinges upon us sharing the medium of words and ideas effectively. And it’s equally about listening. Not just speaking or waiting impatiently for your turn to speak. How we attach meaning to words, and how we resolve these differences between minds, is the key to human understanding and psychological harmony, of knowing the paths to be taken in life together, of having both sets of eyes, together, fixed on the same horizon of the future. Without this alliance closely maintained through good discourse and aligned understanding, it will unravel.

Incorporate male dominance without subverting the mother. The male, according to our beliefs and much of what we can borrow historically from human tradition, is the head of the household—the highest member in the familial dominance hierarchy. It is his purpose to oversee the safety and security of his family and to guide them and protect them with competent leadership. At Humbled Females, we take his role, and the role of his female, to their purest and (arguably) most natural conclusions. But the fact we believe in an overt asymmetry of power between male and female is not to say the maternal role is to be impugned or dismissed. Our beliefs are, in fact, quite the contrary: We support the role of the mother far more critically than modernity’s infatuation with male-female equality can possibly grant. We believe her focus and attention should be largely upon her children, as nature has intended. Let the mother become and be seen as an extension of the father, worthy of her own authority in the household, enacting his will for the betterment and learning of all children within it.

Combat the modern entitlements of youth that fray against parental control. Today, it seems to me that we have a tendency to worship youth a little too much in polite culture. The net effect of this trend is that, often, we place the needs and goals of our children above that of the parents. Most would shrug in agreement with that idea; it’s a widely embraced foregone conclusion, and one most are quite fine with. But the current trend gets something confused. While children are obviously important, the values of parenting have discernibly shifted from the past. Kids have become symbolic of something abstractly sacred as culture has leaned toward eulogizing maternal values. An increasingly litigious, feminist society is largely to blame for this, especially as divorces continue to skyrocket and parents fight bitterly over child custody rights with scores of lawyers and counselors. The so-called experts in the field of psychology over the past several decades are also to blame for this phenomenon: They have put far too much emphasis on feelings and safe spaces, as well as hobbling support for traditional notions of discipline. The result is the “helicopter parent”: A hyper-sheltering breed of begetter who micro-manages his or her children. Collectively, our concern for children has become subserviently solicitous and oddly indulgent. In the midst of this, children have accrued a fair amount of license to make unreasonable demands and hold brazen expectations. But parents don’t need to teach this to their kids in order for these behaviors to take hold: it’s in our culture. It’s learned directly through others, too. All your daughter needs to learn these corrupt attitudes is a close friend who is spoiled, entitled, and manipulative, infecting her with the same thinking over the course of time through observational learning. With enough toxic influence, she may attempt to manipulate her parents by playing favorites, or getting in between them to sow discord. She may, in her own subtle way, attempt taking the helm of how she is parented. As a parent today, you must work carefully in overriding that particular rot of her childhood character. Be mindful of the influences to which she is exposed, especially through social contagion. If you allow these portals of the world to get a foothold, they can (and most likely will) drive a wedge between you as parents, or between you and your child.

 

In Closing

It’s easy to go with the current program around us and assume that with a little encouragement and a lot of luck, our girls will turn out fine. The reality is that our society is creating angry, anxious, entitled, narcissistic, and less empathetic girls who are encouraged to endlessly navel gaze. The zeitgeist of the modern West, clearly, is one of shrill feminist advocacy writ large. And yet despite all the achievements for women since the sixties, our rising mass cult of female empowerment has seen depression and anxiety among women skyrocket right along with it, a product of the paradox of declining female happiness.²³ Wide gains in women’s rights haven’t really made women happier and freer, it turns out, and while some of that reality can be attributed to institutional recalcitrance, it does not explain how some surveyed women living in places with more traditional values (and less equal pay) were happier than employed women in more liberal communities.²⁴ The triad of feminism, the malignant deconstruction of sex, and a culture of hedonistic license has another phenomenon to account for, as well: the many young men in society who are receding from dating and interacting with the female sex altogether. The terms “Men Going Their Own Way” (MGTOW) or “Men’s Rights Activist” were unheard of in the revolutionary times of the 1960s. Today, there is a considerable number of the male population that is clearly put off by the religion of feminism and its obvious war against maleness. Obviously something is amiss in our world today and it’s not relegated, simply, to a few delusional outliers. The contagion has been detected in the organism of society and anti-bodies are finally being produced to combat it.

Our goal should be to gently and thoughtfully infuse a sort of social anti-body against feminism into society, one that is softer and more passive, but effective in time: the reawakening of true femininity in young girls. Under that heading are a series of female qualities we extol as virtuous: grace, true humility, empathetic intelligence, sincere respect, domesticity, submissivity, and the many crafts and disciplines of beauty. Raising our daughters with these qualities in mind will not only make them healthier and happier. The virtue they hold will spread as they touch others and ascend into the great tapestry to help create new families, keeping the flickering light of an older, wiser way of life alive until it regains some part of its former luminescence in a saner future age.

 

1.Linda K. Kerber, “The Republican Mother: Women and the Enlightenment – An American Perspective,” in Toward an Intellectual History of Women: Essays by Linda K. Kerber (Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 1997), p. 43.

2. https://www.britannica.com/event/Stonewall-riots

3. https://onenewsnow.com/business/2019/08/02/gillette-cut-by-8b-loss-after-toxic-masculinity-ad

4. https://quillette.com/2019/09/17/i-basically-just-made-it-up-confessions-of-a-social-constructionist/

5. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-019-1420-y

6. https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/research/transgender-issues/new-estimates-show-that-150000-youth-ages-13-to-17-identify-as-transgender-in-the-us/

7. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamasurgery/fullarticle/2673384 | https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-09-20/childhood-demand-for-biological-sex-change-surges-to-record/10240480 | https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/trans-teens-ottawa-cheo-demand-1.5026034

8. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224545.2010.481686

9. https://1980swebography.weebly.com/sex-positive-feminism-a-very-short-introduction-and-resources.html

10. https://time.com/247/millennials-the-me-me-me-generation/

11. https://www.marxists.org/reference/subject/ethics/de-beauvoir/1976/interview.htm

12. https://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/policy/gender-identity-report.pdf

13. Augner C, Hacker GW Associations between problematic mobile phone use and psychological parameters in young adults. Int J Public Health. 2012;57(2):437–441pmid:21290162

14. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-me-care/

15. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/317639.php

16. https://www.bls.gov/cps/cpsaat11.htm

17. http://verdantlabs.com/politics_of_professions/index.html

18. https://www.kappanonline.org/mangin-transgender-gender-identity-school-policies-gender-expansive/

19. https://thefederalist.com/2019/04/05/parent-objections-public-school-teaches-6-year-olds-transgender-ravens-gender-fluidity/

20. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/323197652_The_Gender-Equality_Paradox_in_Science_Technology_Engineering_and_Mathematics_Education

See also: https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/03/scandinavian-gender-equality-myth-us-more-female-managers/

 

21. https://www.nature.com/articles/nature10190

22. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19624573

23. http://ftp.iza.org/dp4200.pdf

24. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs00148-009-0257-4 | See: http://ftp.iza.org/dp1202.pdf

Presenting doll: A fixed position and rigid psychological space where the female serves as a passive sex toy. Marc Esadrian demonstrates the practice and discipline of this modality with Penny, his sublime Asian female. Study the subtleties of this particular mode, where she is reduced to the state of a passive and surrendered object, intimating no will or autonomous agency of her own. In doll, her legs are spread in a wide “v,” painted toes pointed and suspended in the air for maximal aesthetic. Her mouth, popping with red lip gloss, remains open, inviting sexual use at the male’s time and bidding. This form of submission is perfect for times when the male doesn’t want to fuss with giving pleasure—only receiving it, and on his terms. Beneath him, she remains motionless and depersonalized, a living sex toy in the highest state of objectification.

Presenting doll: A fixed position and rigid psychological space where the female serves as a passive sex toy. Marc Esadrian demonstrates the practice and discipline of this modality with Penny, his sublime Asian female. Study the subtleties of this particular mode, where she is reduced to the state of a passive and surrendered object, intimating no will or autonomous agency of her own. In doll, her legs are spread in a wide “v,” painted toes pointed and suspended in the air for maximal aesthetic. Her mouth, popping with red lip gloss, remains open, inviting sexual use at the male’s time and bidding. This form of submission is perfect for times when the male doesn’t want to fuss with giving pleasure—only receiving it, and on his terms. Beneath him, she remains motionless and depersonalized, a living sex toy in the highest state of objectification.

Witness a custom-built cage, made specifically for humans (and preferably of the female variety). Marc Esadrian walks Penny by collar and leash to the cage embedded inside his closet rooms, where she is kept over periods of time to rest, reflect, or await use. Note the simple steel mesh walls of the cage and its rigid construction, as well as its empty furnishings, so as to strip the slave of her human comforts. There are no pillows or blankets here. Clothing is, of course, not allowed. There is absolutely no privacy. She is exposed and vulnerable, with every inch of her flesh on display. Even relieving herself is afforded no refuge, the act becoming a humiliating and degrading experience. We hope this video helps inspire dominant males to conceive of their own cages, as it’s an extremely effective psychological tool in creating a contrast between the master’s agency and the slave’s objectified status.

Witness a custom-built cage, made specifically for humans (and preferably of the female variety). Marc Esadrian walks Penny by collar and leash to the cage embedded inside his closet rooms, where she is kept over periods of time to rest, reflect, or await use. Note the simple steel mesh walls of the cage and its rigid construction, as well as its empty furnishings, so as to strip the slave of her human comforts. There are no pillows or blankets here. Clothing is, of course, not allowed. There is absolutely no privacy. She is exposed and vulnerable, with every inch of her flesh on display. Even relieving herself is afforded no refuge, the act becoming a humiliating and degrading experience. We hope this video helps inspire dominant males to conceive of their own cages, as it’s an extremely effective psychological tool in creating a contrast between the master’s agency and the slave’s objectified status.

Penny is introduced to submissive acts, including kissing feet and paying oral homage to her master’s balls. This video is shot in typical Humbled Females style, with the male clothed and the female completely naked and unadorned, keeping her in an animal state. The acts of worship themselves deny any focus upon her own pleasure. Stripped and collared, she is made to show signs of love and worship, sans focus upon her own ego. This video also demonstrates that direct fellatio isn’t always the necessary consummating act: a man can enjoy other areas of stimulation while partaking in dominance over his female. At the end of her training session, Penny must swallow her master’s ejaculate, and is shown back to her dog bed shortly thereafter.

Penny is introduced to submissive acts, including kissing feet and paying oral homage to her master’s balls. This video is shot in typical Humbled Females style, with the male clothed and the female completely naked and unadorned, keeping her in an animal state. The acts of worship themselves deny any focus upon her own pleasure. Stripped and collared, she is made to show signs of love and worship, sans focus upon her own ego. This video also demonstrates that direct fellatio isn’t always the necessary consummating act: a man can enjoy other areas of stimulation while partaking in dominance over his female. At the end of her training session, Penny must swallow her master’s ejaculate, and is shown back to her dog bed shortly thereafter.

“Serving is a form of pleasing—no matter how mundane the task. The humbled female embraces this philosophy and lives it. She kneels in her place as a natural servant to the man in her life, never insinuating herself into the limelight or demanding attention. She is content to serve quietly, patiently, and lovingly. She is ever on the periphery, just beyond the rim of light, waiting silently and invisibly until summoned to please in any way she can, reaping no insult from being rendered voiceless, naked, and ignored until desired.” —Marc Esadrian

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Following her retribution with the cane, Penny is assigned toilet service, where she will remain chained in the bathroom and used for attentive cleaning. Watch as she obediently licks up her master’s urine from the rim, initially gagging from the taste. Over the course of her experience, she begins to adjust to her indefinite fate, servicing the toilet orally until its shiny before returning to the floor, waiting to serve again.

Following her retribution with the cane, Penny is assigned toilet service, where she will remain chained in the bathroom and used for attentive cleaning. Watch as she obediently licks up her master’s urine from the rim, initially gagging from the taste. Over the course of her experience, she begins to adjust to her indefinite fate, servicing the toilet orally until its shiny before returning to the floor, waiting to serve again.

“Love is not a feeling of happiness. Love is a willingness to sacrifice.”
 —Michael Novak

And yet sacrifice, all by itself, can bring such joy….

But let’s be frank. Most women approach and begin slavery with sex, romance, and pleasure on the mind. They’ve had erotic fantasies of a rather unusual sort for many years, they’ve read specialty novels or seen certain movies that strongly affected them. Or maybe they knew someone who whipped his girlfriend for fun and thought that was the hottest thing they’d ever heard of. Maybe they experienced intense longing to be tied up and used or felt something deep within them twinge when they saw online personal ads from masters seeking slaves. It’s very common to find references to dominance and submission in social media these days, and, even if it is only a joke or a meme, it can still be deeply arousing if it strikes a deep chord in a female or awakens a longing. The horse that brings a woman to the doorway of slavery is mostly composed of an intense desire for taboo sex and dark, exhilarating romance. Before she crosses that portal into slavery, however, the slave must dismount and stable that powerful, driven creature, the drives and longings that brought her to this point. While intense sex has its place in these sorts of relationships, a new slave can’t always bring every raging personal desire and favorite private fantasy across the threshold and into her master’s abode with her. The fact is, these desires often will not fit: they are too big, too aggressive, too rough to be led into a place of calm, quiet, controlled beauty. Instead, a new slave quickly discovers that everything, including the sex, will, from now on, be done His Way. That’s not to say that there isn’t a lot of intense, erotic, dark sex in a female slave’s future, but that included with it will be…

“Love is not a feeling of happiness. Love is a willingness to sacrifice.”
 —Michael Novak

And yet sacrifice, all by itself, can bring such joy….

But let’s be frank. Most women approach and begin slavery with sex, romance, and pleasure on the mind. They’ve had erotic fantasies of a rather unusual sort for many years, they’ve read specialty novels or seen certain movies that strongly affected them. Or maybe they knew someone who whipped his girlfriend for fun and thought that was the hottest thing they’d ever heard of. Maybe they experienced intense longing to be tied up and used or felt something deep within them twinge when they saw online personal ads from masters seeking slaves. It’s very common to find references to dominance and submission in social media these days, and, even if it is only a joke or a meme, it can still be deeply arousing if it strikes a deep chord in a female or awakens a longing. The horse that brings a woman to the doorway of slavery is mostly composed of an intense desire for taboo sex and dark, exhilarating romance. Before she crosses that portal into slavery, however, the slave must dismount and stable that powerful, driven creature, the drives and longings that brought her to this point. While intense sex has its place in these sorts of relationships, a new slave can’t always bring every raging personal desire and favorite private fantasy across the threshold and into her master’s abode with her. The fact is, these desires often will not fit: they are too big, too aggressive, too rough to be led into a place of calm, quiet, controlled beauty. Instead, a new slave quickly discovers that everything, including the sex, will, from now on, be done His Way. That’s not to say that there isn’t a lot of intense, erotic, dark sex in a female slave’s future, but that included with it will be many other things she may not have anticipated but that are equally important to her master: hard work, profound and instant obedience, learning to control her impulses, ego and self-love, emotional self-sacrifice, and much more.

As a slave learns about these new facets of her life under a man’s rule, she often grows to really appreciate these many aspects of discipline: the bars of the cage that hold her hostage. They become at least as important, if not more so, than torrid sexual episodes because living with this discipline makes her master very happy with her. Happiness over her master’s contentment entwined with and fueled by the knowledge of how she contributes to this is the primary source of joy in submission to a man, and, although it’s not exactly a secret or unanticipated, the mechanics of it are not always well understood.

While many of us know that deep, abiding love is often selfless and thinks primarily of the beloved, the willingness to sacrifice, that is, to preserve or promote the well-being, happiness, and expansion of another at one’s own expense, will often, paradoxically, bring to a person unsought, powerful feelings of joy and contentment. When someone gives up pursuits like increasing personal happiness at all costs, ego expansion or defense, possessing or controlling another, or obsessively chasing urges toward personal aggrandizement, they may notice, strangely enough, something much better creeping into the gaping void that leaving oneself behind creates. This “something better” is one of the secret joys of submission because it is often an unexpected and paradoxical byproduct of genuinely serving someone entirely out of a desire for his welfare and happiness. A lot of us, including myself, entered slavery thinking it was not going to be a particularly joyous state. My joy wasn’t exactly the point, His was. You can imagine my surprise when I discovered that there was still plentiful joy in my life amid all the punishments, hardships, correction, and steep learning curves.

These joys are secret only in the sense that they are unexpected: they aren’t what most people anticipate when contemplating the rigors of a life of selfless service. Many who carefully and realistically consider slavery to a man as a vocation also anticipate pain, fear, being scolded or corrected harshly, disappointing one’s master, and much worse. A realistic slave who has figured out that this isn’t entirely about her fulfilling a romantic fantasy expects self-sacrifice and ego reduction to hurt. Yes, these things do hurt a little (OK, sometimes even a lot), but if a subservient woman is able to embrace the difficult parts of her role fully and do her very best to be the type of servant the man whom she serves wants her to be, she may find her emptied cup starting, little by little, to fill with a heady, life-giving elixir of intense joy. Joy in witnessing his happiness, safety and contentment. Joy in bringing a smile to his lips. Joy in knowing those things she finds hard, boring, or unpleasant better his life and please him. Joy in acquiring all kinds of new and possibly unusual skills; in perfecting social graces far beyond where the ordinary female typically stops; in acquiring a discernment, an attention to detail, and a fine sense of timing that perfectly accompany a style of living that, maybe for the first time, is being led consciously, aware and alert.

And then there is the joy of seeing one’s own obese ego reduced to a trim, feminine size. Often it takes crashing repeatedly against the hard wall of a strong man’s will for a female who is still too full of herself to realize how very little she knows, how little of that is truly useful or praiseworthy, and how much she still has to learn. One of the greatest joys in serving a man is the realization of how very much he has to teach you about virtually everything in life. A slave finds a new peace in just letting things be, letting him take over everything (including all those petty details she may be used to nagging others about), not worrying what happens to her next, where she will eventually end up, or how she will get there. She now has a strong, trusted guide in life and the opportunity to just relax and let him lead. This relaxation is one of the deeper joys a woman transitioning into a slave experiences, particularly if she’s been unusually tense and insecure before. She comes to realize that as long as she is what he wants her to be and does what he says, nothing else matters—and everything is well with her world.

Such experiences of sublime joy don’t always come immediately to a female slave. It may take years before the first glimmerings start to appear. Joys of the sort described above are not things you can structure or plan. Nor can they be conjured into existence from an act of extreme will—or extreme cleverness. Experiences like this almost seem living: they have their own whims, timetables and requirements; they alight in your hand only when they sense it is safe to do so. These joys come if the slave is sincere and tries her best, but only in their own time. There is something magical about them.

There are also things (mental or emotional baggage, wrong attitudes based on false assumptions, inappropriate desires, misunderstandings, hidden needs, poor self-assessment, being unreliable, an addiction to drama or some other destructive game, etc.) that retard a female servant’s ability to experience or even become aware of such joys. If you are interested in knowing more about these things, try reading some of the other articles on the Humbled Females site. Many of them discuss these stumbling blocks in detail. To sum up all such articles in a sentence: consider that genuine joy, based in love, dedication and sacrifice, cannot grow in a dim, swampy, jealous, insecure, confused, lazy, demanding, unselfknowing but, nevertheless, very inwardly-focused “This Should Be All About Me” environment. Not only must a potential slave be highly motivated to change such aspects of herself but her master, too, has to be competent and knowledgeable enough to bring about such change, should he decide she is worth the time and trouble.

Below are some detailed descriptions of experiences and attitudes that make myself and other slaves I know of deeply happy, happier than we have ever been before. You may find a number of these experiences highly familiar: they are the cornerstones on which dedicated, loving, consensual slavery is built, brick by careful brick.

 

“Honesty…is such a lonely word. Everyone is so…untrue.”—Billy Joel

Telling the truth is probably the most essential and valuable quality people bring to any sort of personal relationship. Without a commitment to straightforwardness, the lies, omissions, and easy skirting around the facts tend to multiply between a couple until neither one knows what the other really thinks or even who they actually are. Each is living in an uneasy world of unreality in regards to the other, until one of them breaks the false truce, finds out something the other was hiding form them, and, in outrage, confronts their partner with their lack of “transparency.” Spying and snooping is much easier to do in these digital times where almost everybody is narcissistically obsessed with having their every thought, action, and feeling fully recorded somewhere. Because stalking, peeping, and prying on those close to us is so easy, it happens quite frequently, often with disillusioning results. It may well be that at the time Billy Joel wrote that song, it felt like “everyone was so untrue,” but the everyday, even every-hour practices in these times of direct deception or its converse, finding out what’s being kept from you, makes Joel’s era look simple, clean, and very straightforward by comparison. And yet honesty, telling the truth simply and clearly (and without weaponizing it), is essential for happy, peaceful, rewarding, long-lasting relationships.

Can you remember the time when you told your first lie? Can you remember what it felt like? I can’t remember my first one, my memory is not that good, but I do remember around the age of 4 or 5 telling my Catholic mother, when she saw that my younger sisters and I had (yes, this was my bright idea) glued our hands together with Elmer’s glue, that we were “praying.” I didn’t grasp at all why she didn’t buy that most reasonable explanation. Our first lies are pretty amateurish and often related to simple hopes or fears: we lie to get a cookie or we lie, as in my case, to avoid being scolded or punished. If we are raised well (or raised at all—a lot of parents these days are only there for children in the body, their minds and emotions are elsewhere), then we were taught there are consequences for lying. Later, when we became capable of reason, someone bothered to explain to us, if we were lucky, how the consequences of lying could be far worse than just “getting caught.” Then, as we grew older and experimented with forming our own relationships, we started to experience, once again, the various consequences of lying. Again, if we’re lucky and not congenital liars, we start to learn a little bit from the hard consequences of our young-adult lies, even if they are never found out.

Further on in life, in our most important relationships and friendships, we discover in full the decaying, debilitating effect that lying has on those important people we love or care most about…and on ourselves. Becoming another’s slave is the most important and responsible relationship role we’ll ever assume. If we drag the filthy habit of deception (whether through direct deceit or lying by omission) onto this far more sacred ground, the consequences of those lies, when eventually uncovered, might destroy us. It’s pretty hard to live with oneself if you’ve been constantly lying to the man you swore absolute fidelity, honesty, and obedience to.

I have learned from some hard experiences that honesty, particularly with one’s master, is always for the best, even if it has shocking initial results. Coming clean about everything is a part of loyal service to him. A woman is not a slave if she is not honest with her master. Instead, she’s more his enemy. I did my first master no favors by one time making him agonize for weeks that something really terrible had happened to me. I had a secret I just couldn’t tell him, and I couldn’t tell him for months–although I did tell him I had a horrible secret that I was miserable about. This worried and scared him a lot more than it did me. Should the result of your telling the truth be terrible, and he tells you that you’re finished as a slave to him, keep aware that you did the right thing in owning up to your transgression. Things work in mysterious ways and it’s quite possible that in the future you will have many reasons to be happy that you did admit the truth. There’s always hope as long as you are alive even if you have no idea where that hope might come from. Most of us, when we look back on our lives, see many places where, despite our fears for the future, we’ve received unexpected assistance when things were darkest and even second or third chances when we expected none. So, if you have lied, do not give up hope. Gird your loins, steel yourself, and just let it out: tell him. You’ll feel so much better if you do that.

 

“And they lived happily ever after.”
—Innumerable fairy tales

Unending mutual respect and love, if not worship, that doesn’t fade with familiarity or time is the expressed and expected ideal of many contemporary modern people who fall in love. We expect when we enter a romantic relationship that this heady, intense high of meeting someone extremely attractive and compatible (but at the same time, a mysterious unknown) will last forever and that the relationship will consist of permanent, mutual adoration. No matter how many times we’ve fallen in love before, we seem to never expect that the newness will eventually wear off. And we certainly do not consider, let alone anticipate, that something even better could take its place. Hence, the average individual gets bored or angry or restless with their current partner and craves to move on… to someone new who is extremely attractive and compatible (but, at the same time, a mysterious unknown). I guess it’s to be expected that many females entering into slavery (and sometimes even their masters) believe in this happy-ending myth, as well. The potential slave, in particular, often expects either that (a) her master will adore her forever because she’s just so awesome or (b) he will adore her forever because she adores him and he will be so grateful for this that he will fall madly in love with her…even if she’s not so awesome.

These expectations about the future, while they might turn out to be at least partially true, are not are not the ideal assumptions to bring into a relationship of servitude and subservience to another’s will. The women who seem happiest and most content as slaves (and, more importantly, the ones whose masters are content with them) are, paradoxically, those who entered slavery with no conditions set, no requirements that had to be met, had no idea, even, where their next meal would come from. They required nothing from the men they served, especially not promises of permanence or pledges of romantic love. They simply wanted the chance to serve, however long or short that service might be, and trusted that he would do what was right for him, whether or not it promised any sort of security or other goodies for them. And they absolutely relished feeling this way. They didn’t want an “I’ll take care of you no matter what” romantic insurance clause. The last thing they needed was a marriage to legally seal their rights, making them capable of extracting money from him if things didn’t work out. But if he did choose to marry her for his own reasons, a sincere slave would never abuse that status to get her own way or screw him financially if she didn’t.

These females, the ones who live never knowing what their fate will be from one day to the next, are some of the happiest women that I know. They know that what is of most importance is their love for and service to their masters, both of which they tend to carefully and keep burning brightly like a small but essential campfire on a very cold Northern slope. They are too busy happily serving to worry about what might happen to them. Such females truly realize their subservient, unimportant state and even revel in it, because they craved, some for all their lives, to be treated this way. As perverse as this might sound to someone more conventionally minded, this lack of caring about one’s self and one’s destiny and the relishing of one’s unimportance are the sources of the deepest contentment a genuine slave can experience. As long as her master is happy, provided for, content, and satisfied, she is at peace and bubbling underneath with joy. She loves the fact that her needs do not matter, that everything he desires takes precedence, and that the inner reality of her life is precariously balanced in his hand. She fully accepts the fact that her master might discard her when he has no more use or desire for her. This core fact makes it absolutely clear to her that she is actually living a life of slavery, not involved in some shallow roleplay in what is really a very vanilla coupling. If one is really a slave, this is how you live “happily ever after.”

 

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” 
—Lao Tzu

Simplification, minimalism, downsizing, not desiring more: the fact that these ideas are popping up a lot more often in Western culture at this time suggests the general population is finally wising up to what experienced consensual slaves know instinctively: that less is definitely more. It’s a wonderful feeling when what pleases you most in life is to have less around you, not more. Less objects. Less food. Less movies, apps and other stimuli. Less clothes. Less friends. Less events. Less “big ideas.” Less accomplishments. And definitely less clutter. A slave begins to love the way that the shedding off of all this heavy, heavy…stuff, be it material or immaterial, simplifies and clarifies her life. Her world becomes reduced to the essential: just enough and no more. Slowly, a learning slave begins to apply this concept of “less is more” to her master and the time he spends with her. She feels happy and grateful for what he does, she doesn’t obsess on what he doesn’t do. She longs to be with him always, but at the same time she quickly forgets or ignores the time he doesn’t spend with her.

“The best things in life are not things.” 
—Art Buchward

At the core of the desire for more and more of everything, material and immaterial, is, I suspect, a fear of loss, an intense insecurity. An extreme example: starving people who do not know where their next meal is coming from and who are, due to their own crazed need, suspicious that others are going to try steal their current meal, might attack food when they finally get it, wolf it down fast, almost violently, like a dog does, so that nobody else can try to take it away. This is a base survival instinct kicking in, but those who are well-nourished can also be insecure and exhibit similar behavior. Bad parenting can cause insecurity-driven greed to rise to the forefront in some children and attach itself to some pretty strange things. Insecure people tend to collect things when trying to assuage their insecurity. Their tons of possessions, overflowing their houses and stuffing their basements may look like piles of beaten up trash that a really lazy family refuses to take out, but to the insecure hoarder they represent treasures, security: what if I lose everything on the top level of my house to thieves or a hurricane? Well, I’ve still got all this fine old familiar stuff in the basement that can take its place! Security is what they crave the most and most fear losing. But when you constantly fear losing security do you ever really have it?

Some people choose to collect accolades and praise, the choicest of which they feel compelled to repeat to others to prove (really to themselves) how great or legitimate they are. Or they may collect intellectual or professional accomplishments, as that is encouraged in most societies and earns them the respect they’re always craving from others. Those following an alt-path might become experts or “personalities” in obscure social media outlets or in online gaming. The insecure may collect fads, popular ideas or movements, attitudes, political stances, fashions, and practices they think make them cooler, more awesome, or a “real” person (whatever that is). But how often are these tastes and styles simply the polar opposites of those the insecure person’s parents would have chosen? And, if so, exactly how individualistic is that?

There is no end to what the insecure collect: it doesn’t have to be things. It can be friends, pets or others who praise or seem to adore them. Or they might collect life stories: a coherent narrative that makes all those random accidents, chance encounters, ups and downs, and, to be frank, total screw-ups, seem like consciously placed elements in a complex and beautifully tiled life story that they are intentionally fashioning.

Letting go of possessions of all kinds means not only that you are capable of being content with whatever you are given by your master but it also signifies that you have the inner flexibility needed to be a slave. No matter what a serving woman thinks while in a frenzy of acquisition or when experiencing a craving, there really isn’t anything (besides him) that she “must have” or she will suffer horribly. The dismantling of the addiction to things, be they physical, mental, or emotional, involves following one’s master’s lead, taking gratefully whatever is given, and accepting, peacefully and happily, when something you request is refused or something that once was yours is taken away. Feel these diminishments as what they actually are: some pretty horrendous, heavy burdens finally being shed from your back: these heavy, heavy, heavy things and imaginary needs for things that you do not have to drag around with you anymore. You eventually understand that what you are given by your man, whatever it is, is very special, a sacred gift not to be taken for granted. Be it objects or be it daily experiences, it is your food, your sustenance, and digesting or using this sustenance to the best of your advantage without demanding more—or even demanding less (also a form of greed, as it counters what He wills)—is what good slaves do. We accept that His will for us is all that we need. Removing these unpleasant and unnecessary physical and psychic possessions from a life can take a very long time and may not be a perfectly attainable goal. But you may find over time that you come to relish giving things up, relinquishing and diminishing parts of what you formerly thought of as your “true self,” in order to please your master. The clarity and lightness of less mental and physical baggage starts to help you think more lucidly and focus more intently on your man’s goals for you.

 

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” —Zig Ziglar

Ah, Gratitude. It can fill a slave to the brim with joy and contentment. We’ve all felt gratitude in our lives at one time or another. We feel it more often in youth, when things are so new and fresh and when so many people around us are trying to help us succeed in life simply because we are charmingly young, innocent, and vulnerable. But as we mature and as we start feeling more confident and in control of our own destinies, not only do moments of gratitude become less frequent but our minds start to play self-congratulatory tricks. We start to perceive all good things as the natural outcome of our own efforts, talents, or planning whereas all bad outcomes are never our fault: they are either caused by others or by random accidents of fate. This “adult” way of thinking makes gratitude, an emotion that once came so easily to us in childhood, fade from consciousness, in some cases never returning. To be grateful, truly grateful, one first has to become acutely aware of the outside world, of other beings in it, and of the myriad interconnections and influences that pass between ourselves and our environment. One also has to be able to see that these “others” out there all around one are actually different lives, much like oneself, and not merely extensions of one’s own ego.  This leads to the realization that one is actually just a very small piece of something enormous and deeply intertwined with it. Finally it helps if one has acquired, usually through experiencing hard times or bad luck, a practical, visceral knowledge of how very, very bad things can actually get. This rather intense level of awareness can open the door to a more honest acknowledgement of the effects your environment, including the other people all around, have on you, rather than ascribing all the things you label as “good” as due to your own marvelous qualities. While this realization is good for everybody, in slavery in particular, genuine gratitude is essential. It becomes a real possibility when the slave starts to realize, over time and usually with some astonishment, how much her master has changed her for the better.

The gratitude of a slave grows with time as she sees, again and again, how wise her master is and how his honest observations of her, as painful as they may be at times, always turn out to be correct and very helpful. Consider this: you’re with a man who is actually training you as a slave. Initially, you find his scolding shocking, his harsh words really hard to take, the way he ignores you at times as cruel and unnecessary, and the stinging crop to be deeply unpleasant, mortifying, and unfair. But over time, as you start to change and do things right, as you also start to think the way he wants you to think and become more of what he wants you to be, as you see his wisdom in disciplining and guiding you in this manner and how it slowly leads toward more pleasing service to him, you notice how very well all this works to make both his and your lives run more smoothly and peacefully. You are improving as a slave, and slowly, the adverse consequences of your former lack of attention, slip-ups, and heavy self-focus lessen. As a result, you exhibit these unattractive traits less often, which is more pleasing to him.

Stripping away the false ego can be a hard and painful process. It’s fearful to look at what might be underneath all those myriad layers of self-pride. A skilled master can take his female on this journey of honest and sometimes painful discovery but only if she obediently follows behind him and doesn’t constantly drag her feet, get distracted, or look back toward the way she once was longingly and nostalgically. She may need to learn some basic “Life 101” lessons: such as that flattery and ego-stroking are not always signs of genuine regard, that possession of a multitude of facts is not a sign of wisdom or enlightenment, particularly when one utilizes them only to impress others, and that two words of approval from her master are worth a thousand eloquent speeches of praise from anyone else. When a lot of the unpleasant underbrush of the bloated ego and false personality has been cleared away, the gratefulness starts to flow into the empty, cleared space—as long as the female hasn’t managed to delude herself that she did all of this hard work herself. If all goes well with her training, she will eventually start feeling immensely happy and deeply grateful that she’s met this wonderful man, who has, singlehandedly and despite her initial resistance, made some real, lasting, and very positive changes in her. When she contrasts her new self with how she used to be, she sees clearly that these vast improvements to her personality and changes in attitude were not of her own making and would never have happened if this man had not been interested enough to make her his slave. When a slave begins to recognize these things, she starts to feel the early pricklings of deep appreciation for her master and all he has done for her. Depending upon her upbringing, this may be the first time in her life she’s ever felt this way toward someone. She will also start to feel awe at the abilities of a man who can create such a profound transformation in her. Without his hard work she’d be on a very different life trajectory—and, due to her narcissism, likely traveling it blindly.

Not every slave has to go through this difficult and painful ego-stripping process with a master, but most people born in this age and time need at least a basic course in how to really think and care about somebody other than themselves. There comes a point in this course of education where we embrace the discipline as both necessary and welcome, rather than rejecting it as wrong or unfair. We stop resisting our master’s will in subtle ways, we don’t try to secretly control our environment, including the way we are trained, we stop trying to teach him “wisdom” about ourselves or the world in general. We abstain from all of this folly because we’ve finally learned the value of a reduced ego and we can now honestly admit we’ve never been very good at reducing it on our own.

It’s common knowledge that you cannot fill a pitcher with fresh, cool water and expect it to be drinkable if it’s already half full with something noxious: say motor oil or vinegar. The fresh, life-giving water will mix with the foul substance and make a diluted but terrible-tasting or even deadly cocktail. Instead, the pitcher must be emptied fully (and perhaps thoroughly scrubbed) before it is suitable to receive a fresh, delicious, liquid without contaminating it with its previous contents. When the ego wars are over: when a slave who is being thoroughly and properly trained stops fighting her master, stops clinging to what she used to be, stops trying to slip around his changes, and fully embraces his way of living, you could say she is emptied of the mental and emotional contents she brought to slavery. She is emptied of things she once thought absolutely essential to her sense of self and is ready to be filled with fresh, new, invigorating spirits.

Our minds can be likened to vessels or pitchers, that, since childhood, have been uncontrollably collecting impressions, experiences, ideas, attitudes, and tastes from whatever environment we were rather randomly spat out into. We had few choices about this, and what ones we had, we usually made incorrectly because it seemed more fun to take the “easy road” we saw others around us taking: becoming cool and self-important, accruing possessions and fetishizing them, collecting people who feed our egos, agree with us, or make us, by comparison, feel superior. A slave who backs away from all that Me-ness and My-ness, who can honestly admit that being around someone superior who can teach her helps her far more than the fawning of acolytes or the isolated emptiness of a snidely superior attitude toward others; a slave who begins to recognize that her possessions, her knowledge, her ideas, her attitudes, all that content she’s been filling her personal pitcher with, are in the large scheme of things not that impressive and in the personal realm not really her at all…well, that woman begins to feel an immense amount of debt toward the individual who is bringing her attitudes, thoughts, and emotions back to this basic, cleaned out, emptied, and pristine state.

Slowly, the cleansed vessel starts to fill with the joys of simple gratitude. She feels deep relief that she finally has a place in the world where she can be her real self without having to boast, lecture, posture, teach, or argue and where she can enjoy a life that has been tremendously reduced in complexity, no longer having to make  tough decisions and bear (often terrible) responsibility for them. She feels joy along with a little trepidation that she can be her real self for the first time in years, rather than that phony false persona she felt she had to face the world with. She experiences happiness at how simple and easy her life has become, no longer fraught with unnecessary drama and stress. And she finds joy at watching that raw, crude ugly self she brought to her master’s table start to melt away as the original part of her, her real self, emerges. All of these experiences can (and have) made many a lucky woman cry out of relief and intense, abiding gratitude for the man who has wrought such changes in them.

 

“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.”
—Rumi

Work of all sorts, work that you used to find tedious and annoying, work that is simple and not prestigious becomes fun when it is done for the man you serve. Simple, repetitive, boring, annoying activities, things we’d never do for ourselves, become genuinely interesting. It’s the doing it for him that gives the activity, whatever it is, its magic. You feel good and know you’re making the life of the one who is most important to you better. Contentment in hard, constant work, not impatiently trying to get it done as quickly as possible in order to return to more “important things,” enjoying these moments of simple labor, and anticipating his inner pleasure and comfort from your service, even if he never says a word about it, feels wonderful. But you know what feels even better, at least for a slave? It’s when he relaxes and trusts you enough to take your service for granted, just assumes the house will be clean and neat, that things left out will be picked up, that a good dinner will be on the table, the garbage taken out, and the shopping and other tedious chores done, all without his constant supervision, encouragement, scolding, praise, advice, or company being required to keep the slave at her work and motivated.

“Work is love made visible.” 
— Kahlil Gibran

There is a great feeling you get when you do a job well, quietly, and all on your own, without having to advertise it to the world. It’s your secret: only you and your master know what you have done. And there is joy in the actual labor, the physical moments (or non-physical, if it’s that sort of task), focusing just on the job that needs doing, paying close attention to the small details, not missing things or cutting corners, getting it done and done right. A hard-working slave contributes primarily to the betterment of her master’s life and secondarily to the betterment of herself. In the practice of honest labor, new, healthy habits are acquired and older, dysfunctional habits start to drop off.

Work, while it can seem annoying while performing the task, has so many side benefits. It grounds and centers you, helps you be in the moment rather than lost in your fantasies, teaches you attention to detail, moves you outside of the constant pursuit of pleasure that everyone seems to dive into once they quit working for the day, and helps keep you physically healthy, mentally sane, and happy because you’re connected, closely, to the real, living broader-than-broadband world, not lost in the fantasies, passions, and ridiculous foibles of those narrow, twisty, dark virtual tunnels it is so easy to get lost in. I tend to come out of a long bout of social media contact feeling soiled, unclean, unhappy or at least dissatisfied—if not outright disgusted. I come away from dusting, ironing, vacuuming, or dishwashing feeling happy (I contributed to His welfare), enjoying the change in the physical surroundings, content, more alert and “present” because I’ve been moving my body around and pumping blood to my brain, far more aware of my environment and less foggy-minded. What’s not to like about any of that?

The best joy from working, for a slave, at least, comes from her knowledge that these acts please her master and improve his life. It’s the simple joy of giving, or, as I see it, giving back to someone who has given me so very much.

 

“Enjoy the Silence…”
—Depeche Mode

“…your own, that is”
 —article author

There’s growing and then there’s Growing Up. Actually, the growing up comes first. Growing up, for grown-ups, involves really learning new things, not just pretending to learn them or pretending to like to learn. It involves abandoning stale, old, unconstructive habits of thinking, acting and feeling that you simply keep around because they are familiar or comfortable. Such habits might involve intense narcissism, the tendency to throw temper tantrums or reproachful guilt trips when one doesn’t get one’s way, using tears, invented injury, or other dramas to further one’s cause, and other attempts to manipulate from the bottom.

Growing, on the other hand, cannot commence in a female until the “Growing Up Once You’re Grown Up” phase is well along and made some significant progress. A selfish, childish, petty personality cannot learn anything new; she just forcibly reshapes anything new that she encounters to fit into her own safe, comfortable belief system and preconceptions. If you are barricaded off from everything new, including impacts from your master, you cannot really learn anything, no matter how much you tell yourself that you are learning. Growing up is a complex process, and the first step begins by battling down the ego and realizing that no matter how big, how important, how smart, even how slave-like you think you are, you haven’t even taken the first tentative steps on the road to slavery until you get a tight rein on those wild horses of immense self-regard and willfulness. The real work of transforming oneself can’t begin until you do. But to rein in one’s ego is very hard. One has to be willing to see it clearly, in all its ugliness, and that can be quite painful. Most people don’t even begin to try this. Instead, they manage to convince themselves that they’ve already done all this hard work: it’s well in their past and they got the Selfless T-shirt. Such a “slave” is usually lost. But let’s say one does manage to get a handle on the incredibly difficult task of reining in one’s wild horses. What comes next?

Well, for one thing, the joys of growing. These joys are immense and immensely important compared to what one gave up.

Learning (actual learning, like you did as a child) is tremendous fun, once you realize that you don’t have to be the brightest kid on the block and always have the right answer or even contribute some witty (to you, perhaps) riposte. In fact, it is only through recognizing all that you don’t know that you can begin to learn. A slave can finally relax when she stops caring so much about what she knows or doesn’t know in comparison to others and stops worrying so much about how she appears to them or whether she can impress them. She reaches a position of peace where she just quietly and humbly pursues, to the best of her abilities, the goals she has been given to achieve. In most enslavements, whether it’s stated explicitly or not, these goals involve learning to really see yourself and what’s around you without egotism clouding one’s vision. Only then, when she sees who and what her master really is, can the slave start to feel, understand, anticipate, and serve his tastes and pleasures, rather than trying to egotistically impose her own ideas of what these should be upon him.

Asking questions and then thoughtfully and carefully listening to the answers, thinking about what you are hearing, and then asking further, follow up questions about things that interest you in what he says, taking a deep interest in what one’s Master  communicates (rather than constantly planning how to show him all it is that you know) is immensely fun, relaxing, and the way in which you learn new things. What stops us, what closes our minds is often deep insecurity which, in turn, leads to egregious displays of “But just look at how much *I* know—isn’t it impressive?” Once that egotistical “full pitcher” has been emptied, however, a slave can start experience the deep joys of learning new and unexpected things from her master. Or, to put it metaphorically, she will rejoice in being filled with a sparkling elixir of far higher quality that that foul self-regarding swill she brought with her into his presence.

 

“Unself yourself…
until you see your self as a speck of dust 
you cannot possibly reach that place; 
self could never breathe that air,
 so wend your way there without self.
” —Hakin Sanai

When you are completely focused on another: learning his ways, his thoughts, his desires, his attitudes, and everything else about him, you stop thinking about yourself so much. Your focus is on your wonderful, amazing master, his goals, his interests, his desires—not on what you want, your history, your brilliance, your experience, your…whatever. As you focus more and more on pleasing him and only pleasing him, you start to forget yourself. To a female who has built a shrine to her own self in her head, a heavy wall of ego around her heart, or both, forgetting her great and glorious self is usually the last thing she imagines as pleasant or desirable, unless she superficially decides it’s another mark of status she must achieve: “All the other good slaves do this ego-reduction thing so I must do it too, or I might be seen as wanting in comparison…and we certainly can’t have that!” (There’s something a bit paradoxical about that line of thought…)

Forgetting oneself, losing one’s self in another, is a slow gradual experience, something that just happens when and if the serving female’s attention becomes more and more and more and MORE focused on her master. It feels very good not to be constantly thinking about oneself, to even forget for a time that “you” exist, because you’re thinking about benefiting him all the time or you are so deeply engrossed in the tasks he has assigned to you or the valuable thoughts he is imparting to you. But how does this state of mind come about?

Initially, submissive women who wish to serve dominant men become attracted to a particular man because something about him shines brilliantly, stands out strongly against all of the ordinary around him, and this deeply intrigues them. This fascination leads to them wanting to know more about him. They may secretly stalk him online, follow him about from place to place so that they can read what he’s written, or, if he is local to them, try to go to places where he hangs out. They may even start interacting with him slightly, in public venues, virtual or real, as their inner obsession with him grows. This interaction, initiated by the smitten female, is absolutely essential. The ones who squat on their “My pussy is golden, so come begging…boy” tuffets will never hear from such a man. He tends to be so encircled by women who are intensely fascinated by him and a lot less full of themselves than Little Miss Muffet that he can scarcely see her. These interested women don’t sit on stale, boring, self-absorbed thrones; they contact him first, in some way. They show interest. That, in turn, indicates to the male that perhaps this female can be trained to realize that in dominance and submission, it’s not “all about them.” The rare woman who can do this, who can make the first approach toward a man who interests her, has at least the potential to lose herself in another. She can at least grasp in theoretical terms the concept that Someone Else matters more than great, wonderful, golden-pussy me.

The experience of serving an aware, experienced, genuinely dominant man and obeying this man’s conscious direction and orders starts to teach a female to be less self-centered. Even the most submissive of women have a tendency to focus on themselves and egotistically navel-gaze. Women are taught in so many ways that only The Self matters, that “me” and “my” and “mine” are the only important pronouns. Undoing that cultural damage, even if you are deeply submissive and have the assistance of an expert Male Coach, can take time, because a lot of this self-absorption is unconscious and not even recognized by the female as a problem. It’s just the way she is. But it isn’t the way she first started out, nor is it the way she should remain, if she wants to serve a man fully.

A wise male will coach and train his female to start losing that intense focus on herself and her needs so that she can start to serve him more. Slowly, the time she spends thinking about his pleasure and not just her own increases, and her own personal desires start to lose their urgency. There seems to be no end to how far this can progress, at least not that I’ve noticed, but it happens silently inside, without needing special props like unusual terminology, costumes, or rituals. As one’s focus changes to only thinking about what is best for the man one serves, a girl takes a certain pleasure in the fact that she is forgetting to feed her ego. She starts to think things like, “Hey, I never told him my great story about how I did this wonderful accomplishment at my job! Oh well, it’s old news now and I know what I do is incredibly boring to him, so I’ll skip it.” Or three months later, she remembers, “Oh yeah, I wanted to ask him if I could (start this blog) (buy this cute dress) (post a hot photo of myself online) (make him my favorite dish from my past even though I know he doesn’t like creole cooking) (ask him for that intriguing item I wanted) … and so on…. But I forgot! Oh well, the moment has passed, so I’ll be quiet about this one.” The things we think we want or need so badly start to fade into the background. In their place, we are overjoyed when he buys new clothes for himself, gets a special tool he wants, posts some marvelous stuff online, or achieves some important goal in his career. We celebrate those moments and downplay our own successes, as compared to his, because we know in our bones they are just not that important. We’re just doing what we were ordered to do so why make a big deal out of it?

And that is how the self-forgetting goes. I don’t know where it ends, as I am certainly not there yet. Perhaps it never ends. You can’t destroy your ego entirely—it’s needed to handle the practical, boring stuff and to help sincere females put on that false face we have to put on toward people and situations that are not understanding of or sympathetic toward what we really are—but perhaps you can slowly start to change that ego, bit by little bit. At first, when you come fresh to a master, you are full of your old life: full of experiences you want to “share” with him, knowledge you want to impart to him or impress him with, a desire to show him in every way he’s chosen a “quality” slave. Eventually, women who serve genuinely dominant males start to learn that none of this self-promotion is necessary, and, in fact, a lot of it is boorishly self-centered. A short factual list of your skills and abilities is all he needs in order to utilize them in the way that he wishes.

Most men would prefer their slaves quickly get over how impressed they are with themselves so that they can start participating fully in their master’s projects and goals. But learning to put your self on a shelf, so to speak, takes time, it doesn’t happen immediately or just because you’ve read or heard something like this and think you understand it. One has to actually experience the slow shedding of parts of your self-regard, giving up certain ego-boosts you once took for granted or were addicted to, and this is not always easy or pleasant—but it may not be as bad as you think, because you’re doing this in the presence of your God on Earth: the glorious man you worship. When you start to realize you’ve forgotten to request, for months at a time, things you used to think were absolutely essential to your functioning, well-being, health, beauty, or other you-centered projects, you are starting to forget yourself. It feels so good to do this! Shedding one’s self-interest opens the door to achieving another difficult task: remembering him: really seeing him, really listening to him, responding to what he says rather than running automatically on your own verbal script, really understanding, because you’re observing what he likes rather than imposing your likes upon him, and so on. Being able to see your master clearly, as the only important person in the room, brings further joy. You may also feel shame for past behavior: for how you tried to impose your will, your ways of doing things, your possessions, your favorite foods, books, movies, TV shows, your beauty and style, your class, your pretensions to grandeur, your this, your that on him because you secretly believed all these things connected with you are golden or certainly better than anything he might desire or suggest. But you’ve learned better now and can finally start to put that old bloated ego to a quiet, dusty rest, only bringing it down off its dark closet shelf when it’s absolutely necessary in dealing with some part of the world that is not Him.

 

“Relaxation means releasing all concern and tension and letting the natural order of life flow through one’s being.”
 —Donald Curtis

Perhaps the biggest secret joy about being a slave is you find out, despite the stress of training and punishment, despite deprivation, pain, and hard work, despite not always being able to please one’s master perfectly or control one’s egotistical desires, that one is relaxed. More relaxed than you’ve ever been in your entire adult life. Why is s this so? There are a lot of possible reasons. Perhaps all of the following play some role in this happy outcome. You finally know who you are. You finally know your role and your place in life’s tapestry. You’re doing what you’ve felt you’ve been meant to do all of your life. Your life is much simpler, less fraught with difficult decisions. You don’t have to worry about proving yourself, showing off, impressing others. All you have to do is obey your master’s orders with an open mind and heart, and you will be accepted. Your master likes and approves of the fine slave you are becoming.

A great burden of stress falls from one’s shoulders when a woman’s life is reduced and clarified into a few very simple basics and she realizes how deeply compatible she is with the way in which these cleaner, smaller aspects of her self are expressed. After a while, when a slave has undergone some training, and her obedience and constant awareness of the Him in her life is second nature, there can arise a tension-free humor and ease in relating to one’s master. This can grow between you because you finally know your place, never step outside of it, and completely relax within the bars of the cage he has built around you. You are no longer scrambling for higher ranking or regard from others, in fact, you don’t give a hoot about what others think of you anymore because you know you are right where you should be, and the one Person in the world who matters to you approves. Peace floods through your system because you know your place in the universe. This is all deeply relaxing, and, as you may have come to know, relaxation is one subtle shade away from joy.

The American Psychological Association recently came out with its long-awaited report, Guidelines for Psychological Practice for Boys and Men. This body of work was developed by several groups beginning in 2005 and continued with revisions through 2018. Its publication is meant to be a guide for psychologists in the field who deal with male clients and supposedly male issues. The fact that the APA has devoted resources to study the challenges facing men in society today is appreciated, even if the conclusions it has made are severely flawed and smack of the politics of gender revisionists. This means that the effort, as noble as it seems, was defeated quite spectacularly, and in precisely the way we’ve come to expect in these anti-male times.

The evidence of this bias is obvious throughout the work when you consider their definition of “traditional masculinity”: anti-femininity, achievement, eschewal of the appearance of weakness, adventure, risk, and violence. The decision to cast the ideas of achievement, risk taking, and adventure-seeking as negative where it concerns maleness, specifically, seems a curious one, if not the evidence of a deeply flawed and ignorant agenda out of hand. Anyone acquainted with a marginal understanding of history will understand that a significant sum of accomplishment for civilization has rested upon the adventure, achievement, and risk taking of men. Much of this has been good for the development of the species, overall, but now it’s as if the APA wishes to cast this aspect of masculinity in the light of something troublesome by default, as if there is contrasting evidence that a society in which males do not possess these characteristics is somehow better. If such a society exists, I’ve not heard of it. From general observation of living evidence, I can reasonably say the opposite is true: the more we enfeeble men, the more vulnerable a society seems to become. Several decades of feminist tinkering has seen men removed from being good husbands and fathers, leaving women to raise children alone. Median income earning among men is down. Their increasing absence in university is noticed. Young men retreat into video games and recede from notions of achievement, risk, and adventure altogether—outside of pixel land, that is.  Is this vision of male progressiveness so doggedly pursued today really helping us on the larger scale? One tends to wonder if it is. Nonetheless, we’re told that “psychologists strive to recognize that masculinities are constructed based on social, cultural, and contextual norms,” and that how we normalize and accept masculinity is wrong and damaging.

Masculine men are a category of human repeatedly described in this guide as privileged and toxic oppressors in society. We’re told traditional masculinity “hides emotions” (rather than controls them), and that this causes a host of psychological damage, not only for men, but the women who are their undeniable victims. Further still, traditional notions of masculinity are described as anti-female. Certainly, masculinity is the opposite of femininity, but it’s not anti-female—not the traditional masculinity I know, at least. But we’ve heard this stuff before, haven’t we? The wreak of feminist politics in its pages are painfully obvious, borrowing richly from the dysfunctional feminist fantasy of patriarchy originally conceived by the late Kate Millett, a key architect for the foundational theory of radical feminism.

One tends to wonder how this unscientific and highly politicized set of findings by the APA will be used in therapy, in culture, and more concerning, law. It’s now valid for feminism to attack masculinity with the weight of institutional support and validation. This should find us today deeply concerned for how we view men, and what the fate of our civilization will be, now that the attack against maleness relentlessly proceeds through psychoanalytic validation. When we attack the very archetype that men naturally aspire to, we are attacking ourselves to such a degree that it may very well unravel the fabric of western civilization, and this is no joke. This is not hyperbole. When we defeat male achievement and risk taking—even its propensity for violence—we are attacking the pillars of male responsibility. When we denigrate and finally defeat them, we will succeed in destroying the power of men, and no one will be there to save us when the barbarians are at our gates.