November 30, 2018

Article: Beyond BDSM

By Nel

Like many I have encountered here on Humbled Females, my first foray with D/s was through what we call the BDSM community. I had harbored submissive inclinations from an early age, but kept them to myself due, mostly, to confusion and shame. As a young adult in the earlier years of the Internet, I inevitably found online versions of the BDSM world: I was thrilled and relieved that there were others I thought to be like myself! I finally had words like “submissive” and “masochistic” to label personal qualities that had been so confusing to me as I navigated my early days. I had the word “dominant” to describe the type of man to whom I was attracted. I was at last encountering men who wanted to treat me in the very ways I had desired and fantasized about for years.

The online world quickly led to in-person connections. I became part of the local BDSM community group, which was still unique and relatively rare at that time in the 1990’s. I experienced my first enslavement at the age of 26 to a master much older than myself. Though my first master was also part of the local BDSM culture, we were never part of its “scene.” He was a traditional man who didn’t seek out the limelight or the social spotlight, save for an occasional outing on a weekend to change things up. Mostly, he kept me in his apartment for sex, beatings, and domestic service, and I was quite happy to serve him this way.

The relationship ended when he decided to resume a relationship with a former slave, closer to his own age and background, which resulted in their marriage. I was cast aside. And, I was lost on my own. Going from slave to not-slave is an experience I wouldn’t wish on any girl, ever. To fill the void left by my former master, I clung to what I had left…

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