May 22, 2020

Humbled Females: new forum reply to Slave as object vs slave as being Human/pet how does it change the dynamic overall?

New reply from OdinsFlower

<p>I think you're trying to pull answers out of the air: to make sense, bring closure, feel a sense of growth or understanding that cant be forced or pushed along in the way some may believe it can.</p>
<p>We can not "just move on" "just like that", not feel the feelings that come with endings and get the answers outside of ourselves.</p>
<p>In fact the more we try to push and force the process along,the more stuck we become in one facet of that and that part from my experience feels like trying to think, through mud.</p>
<p>Sometimes we do not get closure from others(there is literature out there on making our own closure) and coping techniques.</p>
<p>Squashing down the feelings or a "false forgiveness" where you haven't fully grieved, won't give you the opportunity for personal growth or healthy relationships regardless of relationship style(in times to come).</p>
<p>Let the emotions come, sit with them, allow them to wash through you(and rather then *think* a 1,000 miles per hour still your mind), be mindful of your feelings and just "let them be as they are"; rather then drawing conclusions.</p>
<p>The conclusions will come, themselves, of their own accord, when you've "waded through enough of the mud"in healthy ways.</p>
<p>If you need help with mindfulness, there are books on that subject.</p>
<p>Should this process "make you feel small"..</p>
<p>Remind yourself that you are an adult with resources, there are books, support groups,therapy should you find it nearly impossible to direct yourself through this process given the anxiety you are facing.</p>
<p>I say anxiety as this reads like someone clouded in anxiety as well(although it is words on a screen so excuse me if I'm misinterpreting).</p>
<p>There's even herbal things that help anxiety(I don't mean pot) to help still your mind enough to be able to get through this process.</p>
<p>Not "numb" just curb enough where you can "do the work to get on with this" in your own way.</p>
<p>You can research into what suites you or go to your doctor for it(anxiety wise if you believe this is an element for you).</p>
<p>Meditation apps, mindfulness apps, (like headspace), may also prove useful.</p>
<p>Realistically you may well be codependent off this person(and may well have been before all this) and not know "who you are" at all,outside of others telling you "what your purpose is".</p>
<p>While that may well suite some in dynamics,it doesn't suite you now.</p>
<p>I'm not telling you to remove this from yourself but support groups couldn't hurt.</p>
<p>There are private support groups for things like codependency(even on FB).</p>
<p>Gather your resources, while allowing yourself to tread organically instead of expecting yourself to,not feel the loss that comes of an ending. </p>
<p>Just remember endings can lead to better beginnings, should you embrace the process as it comes, rather then what you want it to be.</p>
<p> </p>

Original Post by Iwillsubmit

Slave as object vs slave as being Human/pet how does it change the dynamic overall?

<p>I am wondering if anybody has any experience with this I find Ultimate freedom in complete submission to master, however I cannot become the object that he deserves for this dynamic. Does anyone have any experience with having a slave that it's not an object but remains human or parapet rather than inanimate object. And how being an object would be better for the master-slave dynamic or how being adamant could be better or worse unable to find any literature thank you</p>

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