July 5, 2020

Humbled Females: new forum reply to Mothering vs. Anticipatory Service

New reply from MarcEsadrian

<div class="wps_wp_editor_quote">The less menial tasks he had to deal with or even think about, the more time he had to spend on the stuff that mattered.</div>
<p>This is ideal in a female. It’s extremely liberating to be freed from menial, time-consuming, and lowly tasks, so that I may attune to higher things.</p>
<p>I like what @Patriarchy had to say on the subject regarding the primality of female behavior just anticipating the need for service and getting it done, no muss, no fuss. His recognition of a middle ground between laissez-faire submission and mindless obedience hits the right note, too, so I see I needn’t go to great lengths fleshing that out.</p>
<p>But to answer your thread directly, Willow, I will say that, with the idea of balance in mind, there is a state of autonomy in a female to decide courses of action in anticipatory service that is unwelcome in my world. Leaning too far in this direction will see her doing things for me that are superfluous at best and unwelcome at worst. And further threats lie in wait with this idea. The problem with being too autonomous in her service lies in the fact that, over time, who she's doing the work for and why may begin to blur, and this is where the danger of mothering comes into the picture. That danger is intensified if your master or husband makes no attempt to clarify boundaries and put the fragments of service into proper context, delineating between what is expected, what is not, and what is beyond the bounds of your concern. A man must be careful here, lest he create a micro-managing busybody out of his woman who feels emboldened to ever expand the borders of her charge. She starts doing things for him to such a degree that she enfeebles him, and once such a beachhead is obtained, she slowly transitions into a dominant force under merely the rubric of submission. This happens a lot, I think, but I don’t feel it’s (usually) intentional on the part of the female. It becomes a boulder in the eye of both man and bitch, leading to unintentionally dark places. If either sex practices to parent the other, let it be the male who acts as a surrogate father, in a sense, to his female. Indeed, the matrimonial tradition of fathers handing off brides to the groom symbolizes a continuity there, from father to mate, from one master to another. This arrangement never damages the masculine-feminine paradigm, but the inverse where man becomes child and his woman akin to a mother cannot help cause injury to both. We sense this intuitively—the germ of thought on the matter is instinctive; we don’t need to have this explained to us. Recognition of the fault is instant. If it isn't, you're toast. You either have a serious Oedipus complex of some form as a man or a subversive fetish for it as a woman.</p>
<p>And so I think that we must be careful in making certain that humbled females have boundaries in their autonomies, that there are specific firmaments that limit their flights. This prescription leads inevitably to embracing a calculated structure, a machine of rules and expectations built by the man to allow her mindful submission to anticipate his needs in certain areas without the threat of overstepping her bounds with too much autonomy. Said another way, sweep the floor, fetch my shoes, and refill my glass when needed, but do not smuggle broccoli into my sauce for my own well-being.</p>


Original Post by .willow.

Mothering vs. Anticipatory Service

<p>I'm going to piggy-back this post off of Daisy's post titled "Emasculation of Husbands", specifically related to the "mothering" point.</p>
<p>I've heard "mothering" likened to anticipatory service and am trying to wrap my head around that.</p>
<p>Throughout my life I have had mainly male bosses. Most of my roles were service related, such as: Executive Assistant, Go To Girl (while it wasn't my title I'd do whatever he needed done) and others. My goal, and their expectation, was that I anticipate what was needed and simply take care of things if there was a situation that presented itself. This ranged from taking care of problems before he even knew there was a problem to performing daily duties and seeing where else I could make his workday easier. The less menial tasks he had to deal with or even think about, the more time he had to spend on the stuff that mattered. I always kept my eyes open for tasks or issues that needed attention. I never felt like any of this was mothering in any way. Maybe because it was work-related, and not personal. But in the end, I was still serving my bosses. My thoughts were "whatever he needs done, I'll do". It went well beyond a typical employees mindset. Before I even realized what a submissive woman really was I was being one for my bosses.</p>
<p>And while that form of anticipatory service was a welcome expectation in those roles, I wonder about a submissives role as she serves her Master. Because I was used to serving with that mentality, I naturally thought the same way while serving men (that are not work-related) and found that anticipatory service is not always a welcome mentality in a submissive. And that it can lead to "mothering" and even "topping from the bottom".</p>
<p><br />I'm curious how others (both male and female) see anticipatory service. Do you think its warranted in certain situations and not others (as is approved by her Master)? Do you think its an unwelcome move on the part of the female for any part of her service? Do you think "mothering" is a probable result of anticipatory service?</p>
<p>** Thank you to both daisy and lia for the inspiration! :)</p>

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