August 11, 2020

Humbled Females: new forum reply to Hello World

New reply from Lord Ren

<p>Welcome to HF.</p>
<p>I have a similar story to yours. During my youth I was quite thin, shy with those I don't know, and (I'm honestly not saying this to brag) smarter than the other kids in class. I was picked on by others at school, then came home to an abusive father. I learned very early on in life to not give a flying fuck about what anyone else thought. I am me. If someone doesn't like it, that's great for them. They can find someone else to hang around and I'll do the same.</p>
<p>I, too, lacked a solid male role model in my life. There are a couple that I had, though quite honestly I had to look to other areas in order to find that role model I was searching for. Quite recently (In the past 3 years or so) I have been talking to my uncle more. The eldest of my mother's side who is easily the most dominant man in every day life that I've ever met. Doctor Who is probably the best series for a fictional character, in my opinion. Go through the new series that started in… 2009 I think it was? The first season is just alright. Afterwards is where it starts to pick up. From the Tenth Doctor onward is a great example of a strong male figure: intelligent, kind, compassionate. A man who will always look to protect and save those around him. He sometimes makes mistakes, but he owns it. He accepts it. He apologizes and tries to make it right if he can. If someone is trying to hurt those he loves then he does everything in his power to stop them. Make him angry and you'll never see the light of day again. He is your greatest ally and your worst enemy. All of these traits are traits that are in myself, my uncle, and a lot of the men in my family too. Hell, they'll give you the shirt off their back if you need it, and I will too. You do what is right because you know it is right. You protect those you care about because you care about them. That's what it means to be a man.</p>
<p>There's a phrase that you probably have heard over the years. "Fake it 'til you make it." This is very true. Our brains are wired to filter in and out things based on our perception. If you honestly believe you are unhappy then you will form a feedback loop of unhappiness. If you see people as corrupt then you will only see the corruption. If you don't know how to smile then start smiling. If you don't know how to be a leader then start leading. You'll be bad at it at first, of course. You'll make mistakes. But as you do it more you'll get better and better. Then one day you'll come home and think, "All I want is my favourite meal, a good drink, and a blowie," and you'll tell your wife to do just that in a stern voice.</p>
<p>There are times when my slave girl asks me, "How can you be so confident?" and my answer to that question is, "Because I know it will happen."</p>
<p>And it's true. Because I do know it will happen. Just as true as the sun rising tomorrow morning, it will happen. And I know you will do your best too. Because you want to change. That's the first step, start taking the second.</p>

Original Post by Dom2099

Hello World

<p>Hello all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am struggling and in need of guidance. I want to be a dominant man, but I'm afraid that I possess too many submissive traits. My father was an every-other-weekend dad. He is very nice guy, but defiantly not dominant over anything. I was always the shy kid who never said much and when I did, I tried to make it funny so people would laugh. I never had a girlfriend because I could not get up the nerve to talk to any girls outside of school-related situations. Looking back, I'm fairly sure that some girls were interested in me, but I was so self-loathing that I could never see the signs or refused to believe that any girl could want me. I was raised by my mother until about 5 when she married a new man. He was basically a bully. He would push me to 'not be a pussy', but he would never really attempt to help me be anything different. When I hit puberty, I gained a lot of weight and it stayed. I was ashamed of my body and never got any encouragement from any males in my life. I think that a bit of the issue is that I have never really had any strong male figures in my life to look up to or to go to with problems. Both sides of my family are matriarchies.</p>
<p>When I was around 25 and still living at home, I decided I wanted to make a change so I agreed to meet a girl my cousin knew. She was very attractive, funny, seemed to know what she wanted and actually seemed interested in me. Fast forward to now and we have been together 10 years and married for 5.</p>
<p>We are to the point that we need to change our dynamic. I am working from home and she is currently going back to school. I have become too complacent in letting her 'steer the ship' and make the decisions. It feels like I moved out of my mom's house and into hers and I fell right back into being OK with a woman in-charge. I want to step up and be a dominant husband and she wants so desperately to be submissive and taken in-hand. I have the desire, but I am not sure about the confidence and skills. I lack confidence and too easily falter when questioned. I have trouble expressing exactly what I want out of a Domestic Discipline life-style. We have tried and failed several times over the years and it always came down to me not following through. I have been reading though many of the posts and articles on this site and I am really liking the spot somewhere between a submissive slave and a 50's style marriage where 'Daddy-knows-best'. I want to lead, but I seem to not be able to convince myself I am a leader.</p>
<p>Any advice or pseudo mentoring would be very appreciated.</p>

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