August 17, 2020

Humbled Females: new forum reply to Hello World

New reply from Kahuna

<p>… this has developed into a sense of insecurity …</p>
<p>Every person has insecurities about certain things from time to time. When I catch myself feeling this way about something, I feel like I have sent up a red flag on myself, which must be hidden. I do not tolerate my own insecurities well. The first thing I do is demand courage of myself, and take my actions, in that regard, as though I were absolutely confident in myself, and try to do exactly the same things and behave exactly the same as if I  was very self assured (this sometimes requires study and self improvement)… eventually, as I gain success, the insecurity is replaced with confidence. </p>
<p>The insecurity I currently struggle with is especially difficult, as it is due to the pandemic and as such is seemingly out of my control. I cannot remove or fix the problem, so I must address my insecurity, associated with this pandemic, within the scope of what I can control, and within the dramatically altered boundaries of life. It is up to me. I must find a new path leading to the same goals. But the basic process remains the same. Find the courage to let go of the familiar and the comfortable, and take the actions you know you must take in the face of your fears. Expect some mistakes, and forgive yourself your missteps during the transition, as you will surely make some. The process is experimental, requires trial and error, until you feel confident and on solid ground. One thing  that helps me when I feel insecure, is having confidence in my process working, knowing that I have the perseverance required to stick with it until I succeed. Keeps my attitude positive in the face of the possibility of impending doom. Leaders must not allow themselves to allow insecurities to undermine their confidence, and must face their insecurity as an enemy which must be defeated. </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>

Original Post by Dom2099

Hello World

<p>Hello all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am struggling and in need of guidance. I want to be a dominant man, but I'm afraid that I possess too many submissive traits. My father was an every-other-weekend dad. He is very nice guy, but defiantly not dominant over anything. I was always the shy kid who never said much and when I did, I tried to make it funny so people would laugh. I never had a girlfriend because I could not get up the nerve to talk to any girls outside of school-related situations. Looking back, I'm fairly sure that some girls were interested in me, but I was so self-loathing that I could never see the signs or refused to believe that any girl could want me. I was raised by my mother until about 5 when she married a new man. He was basically a bully. He would push me to 'not be a pussy', but he would never really attempt to help me be anything different. When I hit puberty, I gained a lot of weight and it stayed. I was ashamed of my body and never got any encouragement from any males in my life. I think that a bit of the issue is that I have never really had any strong male figures in my life to look up to or to go to with problems. Both sides of my family are matriarchies.</p>
<p>When I was around 25 and still living at home, I decided I wanted to make a change so I agreed to meet a girl my cousin knew. She was very attractive, funny, seemed to know what she wanted and actually seemed interested in me. Fast forward to now and we have been together 10 years and married for 5.</p>
<p>We are to the point that we need to change our dynamic. I am working from home and she is currently going back to school. I have become too complacent in letting her 'steer the ship' and make the decisions. It feels like I moved out of my mom's house and into hers and I fell right back into being OK with a woman in-charge. I want to step up and be a dominant husband and she wants so desperately to be submissive and taken in-hand. I have the desire, but I am not sure about the confidence and skills. I lack confidence and too easily falter when questioned. I have trouble expressing exactly what I want out of a Domestic Discipline life-style. We have tried and failed several times over the years and it always came down to me not following through. I have been reading though many of the posts and articles on this site and I am really liking the spot somewhere between a submissive slave and a 50's style marriage where 'Daddy-knows-best'. I want to lead, but I seem to not be able to convince myself I am a leader.</p>
<p>Any advice or pseudo mentoring would be very appreciated.</p>

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