July 15, 2020

Humbled Females: new forum reply to “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”


New reply from Nina E.

<p>Well. This thread certainly got me thinking… not always a good thing, especially when I combine it with writing, but we shall see. ;-) Kudos to the thread poster, it really got my attention! :-)<br /><br />To the thread title, Yes!  A very true quote in my experience. I look forward to watching the video. Thanks for posting this. :-)  Although, to be frank, I tend to mistrust and watch _very carefully_ women who look the way this female does: who dress like kewl modern Prophets of Dune rather than wearing the clothes of the common person. That outfit looks like it bore a 5k minimum price tag (I think I am underestimating it, actually) and most certainly a very "in" designer name. And look at the shockingly short hair. She could be a cancer victim, but she could also as easily be an extreme egotist, so cool she must look differently unfemale so as to advertise her superiority to the world.  It's a power look, meant to impress and intimidate. Women who dress like this (I have met many; I went to a very odd alternative college) strike me as having enormous–although quite possibly very cleverly hidden–egos. I could be totally wrong about this woman, I need to listen to the video to see more of what she shows of her personality, but I have seen people who look like her many times before, people who seemingly have the best of wishes toward the rest of unwashed humanity who are not nearly as cool as they are. Speakers who, in other words, think they are the pinnacle of humanity (It doesn't get any better than me, babay) and who are  trying way too hard to impress, if you know what I mean. They raise the hairs on the back of my neck.<br /><br />A couple of thoughts on the thread subject: In my experience, you don't lose yourself or miss yourself if you stop thinking as much about yourself, your concerns, your activities, your desires, etc. Instead, in the time you are not spending self-obsessing, you gain knowledge of others, knowledge of the world, learn things you never knew before because you are now more outer-focused, less inner-obsessed. And, paradoxically, the less you think about yourself and your "needs" and your cravings, and your experiences, and your skills and your wonderfulness, and your great tragedies as well, the happier you become. You don't lose your brain, your ability to think, your ability to feel or perceive things, none of your humanity. It's all still there. You simply lose something very ugly and non-progressive: a self-obsession that is killing dead your ability to look outside yourself, to grow and learn and expand. People who have the self-obsession disease compensate for that lack of inner growth (they often sense it, and some part of them knows it's very bad for them) by, paradoxically, turning inward toward the rot, toward the poison,  constantly tooting their own horn, telling themselves and anyone who will listen how great they are, what wonderful things they accomplish, what deep thoughts they have or had, how physically hot they are, what wonderful music, art, finance, or flambeed Belgium white chocolate sauce they make, all the usual vanities of the world. The alternative is to forget yourself, don't worry about impressing anyone, follow your inner guide, and, more than anything else, just listen to others, absorb who they are, become enriched by what they say and do…learn better ways of thinking, feeling and acting from them, and watch yourself, with considerable wonder, expand inside. Some of the very best masters can assist a slave with this process of "unselfing herself" but she has to desire it, strongly, first–and not all people are capable of doing that. Deep, long-lasting fears, an intense desire to impress others or receive praise, a stunted background in which one was forced to shout or put on a big show to be heard, a lack of normal feedback that most people get (and that helps keep their egos in check), all that can cripple a soul's vision, temporarily or permanently.<br /><br />OK, I just watched a bit of the video. She's not what her initial appearance led me to expect, but, sigh, we had plenty of her type at the alternative college too. Maybe even more than the rugged individual egotists. She's definitely dressed for the part: kindly prophet-preacher, but a smarter presenter would have dressed very ordinarily, like a member of the audience, not out to impress others with his or her specialness. They'd let their personalities do that. I sense that she is a type, for all her well-meaning words and posturing, who thrives off others' insecurity, fears, anger, and confusion: people who think these feelings will magically go away if they just… know more, meet the right people, work hard enough. If only it were that easy.  She has the wise-woman-on-the-mountain mojo down pat (like I said, certain colleges in the 70s and 80s produced her type in droves) and she clearly relies heavily on that cute accent to take her places. But this isn't how you impress someone who's intelligent and was born with a critical mind or has had critical training: you don't get such people to the "oh wow" stage with fancy dress in a cute accent coupled with common-talk psychoblabla interlaced with stories about how cool you are and who you know. Instead, you simply and honestly speak about what you know in ways in which you believe will help your audience…. because you see their faces: the lines of tension, the coping mechanisms, the barely held-in urges, the unrealistic whimsy and fantasy whirling about,  the sorrows, fears, and failures, and from that you know what they are facing, because, being human, you have faced it all as well. Speaking simply, just one person to another, not only doesn't require a fancy Dune cloak but is usually completely cancelled out by such garb which insists a role-playing act be put on, like Needy Seeker of Truth meets Mistress of Ancient Lore, etc. At least for me, it is to yawn. :-/<br /><br />And… for what it's worth… most people who seem to be in "the full flower of their humanity" were just lucky or privileged enough to be in the right place at the right time right parents, right schools, right connections, right looks, right $$$. The phrase is meaningless and being used to put a false "they earned it" sheen on what is usually just the arbitrary roll of the cosmic dice: chances for fame, or good luck, brains, or privilege. Everybody is in the full flower of their humanity… if they are human. Likewise, dogs are in the full flower of their dogginess, in case you didn't know. (And if you didn't know that, then perhaps you ought to be grateful enough make a small, tax-deductible contribution to ninaE's School of Deep Profundity. :-p)<br /><br />She has a book called Idology (very suitable name, methinks, from someone like her) that encourages everyone to be themselves. But it's a ludicrous idea. Everybody is already out there being…guess what? Themselves. Even if they're trying to imitate Elvis Presley or Ivanka Trump, or their pet doggie, kitty, or moose, they're still being themselves. They can't… we can't… none of us can help but be ourselves. I'm sorry to break the new, but I'm afraid it's a done deal. We were born with ourselves and we can't exactly escape ourselves, perhaps not even after we die (which is a truly frightening thought). End of story, Lady. We don't need your book. We're all utterly fantastic at being ourselves…and what a banal fact that is, by the way! What this book is doing is promoting the worship of self and the foul practice of ego-increase. I disagree with the false battlelines that are being drawn in it. There is no evil outer world forcing us to be something "other" than the glorious clarion ringing bell deep inside our souls (except, if one be honest, it's not always so glorious, is it?). The world out there is simply comprised of billions of individuals, humanity, just like ourselves, and doesn't care about us in the least because each individual is typically far too busy caring about themselves. Significant portions humanity do care, a very great deal, about our money and separating it from us but these plots and schemes don't always revolve around encouraging self-transformation: they can take a thousand other forms.</p>

https://humbledfemales.net/general-discussion/aeoehumility-is-not-thinking-less-of-yourself-itae

Original Post by emergingessence

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

<p>another random share…</p>
<p><br />https://youtu.be/veEQQ-N9xWU</p>

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