August 12, 2020

Humbled Females: new forum reply to Hello World

New reply from Kahuna

<div class="wps_wp_editor_quote">I am currently trying to craft rules and schedules to get my house in order. Anyone care to share any examples of how they structure their household?</div>
<p>My recommendation is to search inside yourself, examine your preferences. When delegating responsibilities, forget about "fairness", between the two of you, and consider instead her potential and her capabilities, and what you might be willing to train her to do well. Then structure the relationship to suit your preferences, acknowledging that those preferences might take a while to dial-in to fulfill your vision, which means your instructions and protocols may change from time to time. </p>
<p>If you are interested in incorporating ideas from other relationships, to see what you like and what seems to fit, here's a little about how I structure things. Am currently in the vetting process, so am living on my own. But in general, when I have a live-in sub/wife, I structure things pretty much as follows:</p>
<p>My girl is responsible for meal planning, cooking (I decide, when I feel like to  prepare a mean for us, and it is not uncommon for us to go out to dine or grab some takeout), cleaning, laundry, bringing me my meds with breakfast and after dinner, and the rest of the time she is to be my obedient companion. We usually do the shopping together, but sometimes I will send her on her own. She is responsible for serving me whatever I may desire, and the refrigerator is to have several "standard" things prepared, or  ready to be prepared, at all times. If she is not slacking off, but falling behind in her chores I do not mind hiring a maid occasionally, to help her keep up, especially if her load at work as been especially heavy. Unlike many Masters, am not into micro managing or being rigid about times for meals or what day to address what chore. I expect her to manage things well, and discuss what is good and what needs improvement during our regular evaluation of performance sessions (described later in this post).</p>
<p>She is naked whenever possible and I determine her appearance, such as her hair, make-up, clothes, etc.,  and I always dress her proactively when we go out, unless we are going somewhere requiring a more vanilla appearance as a couple. She is to keep her weight where I dictate, and expect her to exercise to stay fit (usually while I watch). I teach her about her posture, and how I she is to walk and move. At least once each day she does "positions" for me, going through a protocol of specific positions/poses which she holds until I tell her, "next". I vary the number of positions depending on my mood, but usually 12 to 15, frequently culminating with her masturbating for me, or else our having sex. When she is naked in the presence of other men, she is to be always smiling at me, keeping her focus 100% on me, and not notice or acknowledge any other man. She is naked ONLY for ME, and I decide whether or not to show her off to others. She is to always be aroused  when naked or dressed provocatively around me, and is encourage to play with her vagina to keep herself in an "always ready" state of body and mind. I control/authorize her orgasms. </p>
<p>I expect her to be my advisor on matters about which she has knowledge or strong opinions, though I make the decisions. She must be a fun companion for events, movies, socializing with friends, meal companion, etc. I encourage her to share what is on her mind and discuss her ideas and thoughts freely, but also teach her not  to share things which I find too pedestrian and/or mind numbing (Do not need a minute by minute account of her trip to the store or the mall). </p>
<p>in my experience, many females do not have  very logical or organized minds, and listening to my girl ramble for 20 minutes to cover two or three important points that could be covered in a one or two minute presentation is excruciating for me. So, when my girl wishes to present me with some problem, I teach her how to get the material facts, and suggest solutions, if she has any. I may decide to ask her how she feels about it, afterwards, so she can vent as she rambles, but not until I have my head around the issue. Anytime I am too busy to give her my full attention I schedule an appointed time when I can offer me full presence and listening skills.</p>
<p>Also require a girl whose default mood is joyful. Of course everybody has problems and sad times, but I do my best to insulate her from the pressures of life to the extent possible and reasonable. Expect her to go about her duties and service to me with a smile on her face, and joy in her heart … singing,  dancing and laughter always allowed and encouraged, while she goes about her tending to her responsibilities.</p>
<p>At least once each week, more if needed or if the mood strikes me, I sit in my chair while my girl kneels before me (upright, not sitting back on her heels/feet), knees at shoulder width providing easy access to her vagina, arms folded behind her back and back slightly arched. This protocol is done for the primary purpose of evaluating her performance. Play with her breasts, nipples and pussy during these conversations. Try to focus on rewards (through words and foreplay), for the things she has been doing well. During discussions about poor behavior, I become very forceful in playing with her breast and nipples to cause more physical pain than she might otherwise enjoy. It is important part of on going training for a leader to provide regular feedback on her performance.</p>
<p>Could go on with a lot more small details, but these are the broad strokes describing my preferred D/s relationship. Every Man is different, and so listening to a lot of different Men's preferences will allow you to sort through what it is you really want in a relationship. Do not be shy or insecure about  expressing your wishes to your sub. Do not allow her to judge your "kinks". Own your all your preferences without shame. If she seems unwilling do fall in line on certain things, explain that you will be loving and patient in the way you train her, and bring her along slowly while she adapting one baby step at a time, until she is confident that she trusts you controlling that part of her behavior and you will keep her safe and fulfilled.</p>
<p>Hope that this gives you a few ideas about structuring your relationship. Your relationship should  be a mirror reflection of your individual preferences. Your female's behavior is a reflection of you, and your training and leadership are the primary ingredients for her success as your sub. if you feel her behavior falls short of your preference/expectation, accept the failure as being as much, or more, the fault of the Man, as his female.</p>
<p>Good luck!   </p>

Original Post by Dom2099

Hello World

<p>Hello all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am struggling and in need of guidance. I want to be a dominant man, but I'm afraid that I possess too many submissive traits. My father was an every-other-weekend dad. He is very nice guy, but defiantly not dominant over anything. I was always the shy kid who never said much and when I did, I tried to make it funny so people would laugh. I never had a girlfriend because I could not get up the nerve to talk to any girls outside of school-related situations. Looking back, I'm fairly sure that some girls were interested in me, but I was so self-loathing that I could never see the signs or refused to believe that any girl could want me. I was raised by my mother until about 5 when she married a new man. He was basically a bully. He would push me to 'not be a pussy', but he would never really attempt to help me be anything different. When I hit puberty, I gained a lot of weight and it stayed. I was ashamed of my body and never got any encouragement from any males in my life. I think that a bit of the issue is that I have never really had any strong male figures in my life to look up to or to go to with problems. Both sides of my family are matriarchies.</p>
<p>When I was around 25 and still living at home, I decided I wanted to make a change so I agreed to meet a girl my cousin knew. She was very attractive, funny, seemed to know what she wanted and actually seemed interested in me. Fast forward to now and we have been together 10 years and married for 5.</p>
<p>We are to the point that we need to change our dynamic. I am working from home and she is currently going back to school. I have become too complacent in letting her 'steer the ship' and make the decisions. It feels like I moved out of my mom's house and into hers and I fell right back into being OK with a woman in-charge. I want to step up and be a dominant husband and she wants so desperately to be submissive and taken in-hand. I have the desire, but I am not sure about the confidence and skills. I lack confidence and too easily falter when questioned. I have trouble expressing exactly what I want out of a Domestic Discipline life-style. We have tried and failed several times over the years and it always came down to me not following through. I have been reading though many of the posts and articles on this site and I am really liking the spot somewhere between a submissive slave and a 50's style marriage where 'Daddy-knows-best'. I want to lead, but I seem to not be able to convince myself I am a leader.</p>
<p>Any advice or pseudo mentoring would be very appreciated.</p>

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