May 21, 2020

Humbled Females: new forum reply to Deep Learning

New reply from OdinsFlower

<p>I think you have some beautiful observations of M/s relationships, here, Nina.</p>
<p>Some of the lessons learned within dynamics, I have experienced as well.</p>
<p>I too, find myself learning from him on both superficial and deeper levels.</p>
<p>The biggest thing I'm learning from him at the moment, is, to embrace elements of me that he seems to accept with more ease, then I do,in myself at times.</p>
<p>Seeing him pull gestures of "accept yourself damn it", in small gestures,is profound and healing in ways others haven't managed.</p>
<p>Even with all the work I've done on myself, I find him embracing something in me, far more special and meaningful then whatever I could think or believe about myself.</p>

Original Post by Nina E.

Deep Learning

<p>Do you learn from your Master? What do you learn and how do you learn? Do you learn anything profound? I learn a lot from my Master, in fact, almost daily I learn something new, even after being enslaved for a long time. The learning never stops with Him. There's always so much more He knows than I know. Sometimes it's simple facts or information I was unaware of, but often it goes much deeper than that. I am interested in hearing others' experiences about such "deep learning."<br /><br />To the Masters: what are some of the techniques you use to teach your females the finer and more subtle points of service or general life information? The "deep stuff." What sorts of difficulties do you encounter and how do you overcome them?</p>
<p>Here's something from my own experience that I kind of took for granted. Everybody gets taught this, right? Maybe not… It's about the type of learning you cannot really grasp, except at a very  shallow, distanced, and rather worthless level, from reading words about it.</p>
<p>So actually, lol, I was reading a passage in a book this morning that got me thinking along these lines. But it got me thinking only because the non-book learning had already done its job. It talked about the relationship between criticism and learning. The book was general philosophy, it had nothing to do with the realities of being enslaved or dominated, but a lot what this passage discussed are things I've noticed in my enslavement to my Master, things that improve my service. One thing it mentioned, something that is often entirely ignored or never guessed at in our competitive, paranoid, "everyone's out to get me" society is that "criticism is often descriptive." To be more exact, it's often NOT being used as a weapon, to hurt you. Someone is hoping (maybe desperately) that the penny will finally drop, that you'll start to learn something about how to improve your behavior and attitudes by listening carefully to the feedback from one's owner that such behavior and attitudes elicits. To me, this interchange, taken in the right way by both parties, seems like a good description of a healthy Master-slave relationship, in which progress in depth of service by the slave is the clear goal in both peoples' minds.</p>
<p>My Master, with His calm, always-under-control attitude (unless He's assuming a stronger stance because nothing else is getting through to me), is never criticizing me to hurt me. He's doing so in the effort to help me learn what it is I am doing, feeling, or thinking that is wrong and then change it. It's up to me to do the other part: to clearly hear and understand this message. After several years of seeing such calm, rational, intentional behavior in Him, I eventually absorbed the lesson: this is not a punishment, this is not a personal attack, I shouldn't feel all butt-hurt over this, He's just trying to convey to a rather obtuse and overly emotional student some simple information about how her (sometimes clueless) behavior affects others. I think I eventually absorbed this lesson, but it took a while because I was unfamiliar with anything like it, or being taught in any way like He was teaching me.</p>
<p>One more example, which kind of goes with the first one. It's also something I've seen my Master use with me. I was reading something about adults who never seem to learn and it stated, rather kindly I thought, that not to have observed something in one way or on one occasion (or even in one of many ways or on many occasions) is no indication that the person cannot be taught. People can, in fact, be induced by various approaches to expose different facets of themselves to the teacher so that they can eventually learn (I think this passage is subtly suggesting such students can learn by observing themselves, as they really are, in a particular  moment–and the teacher may be able to induce such a state of self-observation.) <br /><br />One approach, that sometimes triggers self-observation seems to be the exact opposite of what our safe, comforting, ego-soothing, pedagogic systems suggest these days. This technique is to, at certain appropriate times, discourage attempts by students to guide their own learning and development. While not applicable universally, I think such an approach has a lot of use with a master teaching a new slave, who may still have a lot of ego and will, to obey Him. I remember, early on, when the "grand ideas" I proposed to Him for serving Him in cool and interesting ways were met with a lukewarm reception and instead I was told to focus on keeping my apartment kitchen spotless. I was initially rather deflated, and, right at that point of disappointment and confusion (why doesn't He recognize how creative, talented, great I am?), I had an opportunity to observe my own disappointment and to see where it was really coming from. I did so, luckily. I faced it and saw an overly large and self-important ego that was being told what its real place and value in life was. I was one of the luckier ones: I recognized what He was doing with me, I immensely appreciated it, and I learned the lesson I needed to learn. Much later, the value of that humble place He imposed upon me actually became the most priceless thing I have, it's a beautiful, crisp autumn mountainside in my soul.</p>
<p>But that's getting a bit ahead of the subject. At that early point in time, He improved me greatly by insisting I do the the very little things well, get the so-called "insignificant" and "unromantic" duties down perfect, before I was allowed, ever in careful measure, larger responsibilities. By doing these little things gracefully, carefully, but without patting myself on the back about how graceful I was being, lol, watching what I was doing and watching myself, even criticizing myself, seeing the emotions the activities induced and letting them go… I learned.</p>

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