February 8, 2012

Weighing Beauty

By Michelle G. | Edited by Marc Esadrian

We’ve all witnessed it before in our lives: the troubled expression on someone’s face when looking at a loved one, the uncomfortable silences, the unspoken agreement not to mention it. Even in the relationships of dominant males and submissive females, there are subjects that many have deemed too personal and critical to discuss. Interestingly enough, a man can dictate his girl’s hairstyle, clothing choices, even the brand of perfume she wears, and it will only make her feel more cherished and cared for. But most men, be they Master, husband or boyfriend, quail at the thought of mentioning an issue that not only affects a woman’s physical attractiveness, but her health, and thus, her ability to please to the fullest extent she can.

That issue, of course, is weight.

The prevalence of obesity has increased dramatically in the last 30–50 years. About one-third of U.S. adults (33.8%) are obese. Approximately 17% (or 12.5 million) of children and adolescents aged 2—19 years are obese.1 In tandem, we have been conditioned to accept the sight of an overweight or obese person with a dangerous silence, browbeaten by the cudgel of political correctness into telling polite lies right to their faces. All the while, our lifestyles—and consequently, our forms—grow more and more grotesque and unnatural.

This is not mass conspiracy or spurious scientific conjecture; this is fact. Outside of being unattractive to most people, being overweight causes health problems. 

Females come in all shapes and sizes, it’s true, and it’s a good thing, too, given the varying tastes of those who enjoy them, but there are limits to what the human body can withstand while still remaining healthy, and it is the height of arrogance for anyone to claim the right to silence discussion of a physical reality simply because it makes them uncomfortable. Obesity has become the great monster lurking in the corner of the room, seldom openly acknowledged, but always lending its influence to surrounding relationships and interactions. When one is in the company of a grossly obese person, one feels the constant need to tiptoe around the subject, for fear of causing pain or offense.

While this is perhaps somewhat understandable in general society, how did it become so between dominant males and submissive females? If a man’s woman is out of physical shape, does he not have the right to improve her? For that is, at heart, the situation, if his female allows herself to become unhealthy and unappealing by failing to maintain an acceptable weight in his eyes. This is a painful subject. The original author of this essay was well aware of that fact, being herself a female who was struggling with a weight problem. As has been said many times, however, the truth hurts, and the truth is, to most humans, that excess fat is unattractive as well as detrimental to the health of its bearer.

We all know this; it’s not as if so many medical studies and the recommendations of health professionals have been hiding from us all along. We know obesity is linked to type two diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, coronary artery disease, stroke, and sleep apnea in the very least.2 This is not mass conspiracy or spurious scientific conjecture; this is fact. Outside of being unattractive to most people, being overweight causes health problems. While this information is freely available, some of us continue to hide from the fact obesity continues to be a problem for society.3 Those who remain fat either fool themselves into not seeing it, pretend not to, or simply shrug and say, “this is the way I am. There’s nothing I can do.” But why, we ask, should a dominant male who would rather keep a slender and pretty female need to do conspire in this denial? The answer is simple: he shouldn’t. If his female is on a path of self-destruction and one which makes her less pleasing to his eye, then it is well within his rights to steer her from it. For what is a female if not a creature in need of the rational leadership of a capable man—and particularly in the area of a problem so notoriously difficult to conquer?

Western society is indeed guilty of having a dysfunctional and ignorant relationship with food, enabled, in part, by opportunistic food companies all too willing to help us along in it all. One could say it’s not entirely our fault, but it is entirely our responsibility to fix, once we are aware of the weight predicament we find ourselves in.

The diet industry is one of the most continually prosperous in the Western world.4 Everywhere we look there are more advertisements for products and programs to assist us in losing weight. This is not a small issue or an isolated one—everyone knows it’s hard to get fit in a society in love with junk food and the pleasures of eating. Over this past decade, America has only now begun, in any serious number, to take interest in healthy eating, rather than simply yo-yo dieting into a more dysfunctional relationship with food. Western society is indeed guilty of having a dysfunctional and ignorant relationship with food, enabled, in part, by opportunistic food companies all too willing to help us along in it all. One could say it’s not entirely our fault, but it is entirely our responsibility to fix, once we are aware of the weight predicament we find ourselves in.

Considering the toxic eating habits many of us were raised with, the effort in turning around years of weight gain due to a lifestyle of overeating and lethargy can be tremendously difficult, but it’s not impossible. It’s not even as hard as we make it…we just don’t want to give up the foods we like, or engage in the activities we think we’ll hate. The simple, unvarnished truth is that most of us can help being fat. That’s right. Gland problems, poor metabolisms, and genes that encourage overeating do exist, but they are not as all-encompasing as some would have us believe. Poor diet, energy imbalance, and lack of physical activity is the primary culprit.5 Even in families where there is a genetic influence, the observance of a healthy lifestyle greatly reduces the likelihood of obesity.

It often hurts to admit that one is overweight. It often hurts even more to admit that it’s one’s own fault. But in the great majority of cases, that’s exactly what should be done. If one is a free person, that act of taking accountability is of course a choice and can be left for all eternity if one so desires, but a submissive female owes her Keeper better than that casual dismissal of fact, just as she owes him the pleasure of beholding a woman who is as healthy and beautiful as possible. While “beauty” is truly in the eyes of the beholder, it’s a little dishonest to assert we as human beings don’t have a common definition of it, beyond the outlier fetish for overweight women. Generally, males like physically attractive females for a reason that is biological, and this common appreciation is world-wide, not merely a coincidence of cultural bias.6 Beauty to the average male does not include a female that is grossly overweight. Outside of pleasing those men who indeed have a fetish for obese women, how can an overweight female be pleasing to her husband or Master, when it’s obvious from her own appearance that the pleasures of overeating and sedentary living take more priority than pleasing him? How can a Master be proud of a “slave” who is out of control in this way? And how can he, in good conscience, deny his own right to assert that control, if she cannot?

If the reader can disregard the automatic outrage that comes of seeing this approach to such an almost-universally sore subject, we believe he or she will recognize both the truth of our words, and the positive intentions behind their publication. We do not seek to humiliate or hurt the overweight and obese; on the contrary, we wish to help them in making the decision to improve. There are times in our lives when almost all of us find it is easier to change for someone else than for ourselves; how could it be otherwise for the submissive heart?

It is perhaps best to close this essay with a gentle reminder for those who have come to realize this aspect of a woman’s duty. That reminder is thus: any influence a slave grants to food and laziness is influence of which her Master has been cheated. Surely most of us can agree upon which is more important.

What can you do to fight problems with your weight?

  1. Have a healthy diet plan, including home-cooked meals with fruits, vegetables, and lean meats.
  2. Avoid excessive snacking, particularly on processed foods and foods high in salt and sugar.
  3. Keep track of your calorie consumption and consider your daily activity level: are there adjustments to make?
  4. Avoid being sedentary. Try to get in at least a few cardiovascular/interval workouts per-week.
  5. Consider exploring any psychological issues that may have lead you to obesity in the first place.

1. URL: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/overwt.htm
2. URL: https://www.cdc.gov/obesity/causes/health.html
3. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm59e0803a1.htm?s_cid=mm59e0803a1_e%0D%0A
4. The diet business: Banking on failure. (BBC News World Edition, Feb 5 2003).
5. URL: https://www.cdc.gov/obesity/causes/index.html
6: Female Mate Value at a Glance: Relationship of Waist-to-Hip Ratio to Health, Fecundity and Attractiveness. Neuroendocrinology Letters 2002; 23(Suppl.4):81–91 (Singh, D. 2002).

  1. sweetrecall says:

    Personally, I have never felt any pain or discomfort at any time in my life admitting being overweight when I have been overweight, nor have I ever had any issue accepting I am far more appealing when not being fat. Fat is ugly and unnatural and there is not one woman who feels or looks better as such. It is not rocket science and we ALL know it even if a PC society indeed howls in outrage at the mere suggestion, never mind the fact those hypocrites know it too. Everyone knows it, actually.

    If a man wants me to lose weight…consider it done. It is a completely reasonable request whether he is Master or not. He is the one viewing me from behind, not me! I also completely agree that a willfully overweight slave, unless the Master actually likes a chunky woman, screams of that slave having a total disregard of the importance of visually and sexually pleasing her Master. As a side note, the psychological reasons for being overweight should be negated by the presence of a Master, especially considering why most women are obese and if not then she is not responding to him conceptually and he is better off moving on.

    Good health…hmmmmm. Call me cynical (I like to think of it as realism), but I am not convinced that is the Master’s driving force. Fat is of course unhealthy long term, but I think what they look like and feel like is more important. I think there are good intentions to keep the slave healthy and around well into old age but I think the reality is somewhat different. I don’t think it is something a Master needs to be worrying about long term. The likelihood is he will simply replace her with a younger healthier slave or she would have wandered off anyway for some other reason. Slaves seem to be interchangeable one way or the other and that is something I have come to terms with, especially within the realm of purist slavery when romanticism is removed entirely.

    I reckon if a slave thinks otherwise they are setting themselves up for heartbreak and they are existing in a haze of “forever and ever” romantic illusion. I am under no illusions whatsoever. I am of course in the health care profession so I would make a good caretaker for the elderly Master, but unless I choose someone much older than me, I might break my own hip getting him out of bed in the morning. :-)

    I think naturally our minds refuse to think this far into the future. We are not good at mortality nor the concept of the loss of our vitality or societal significance but I think about it a lot because I see it a lot.

    I have wandered off topic somewhat but it is still loosely related in so much as health is a long term concern and consequently a less realistic concern in the context of purist slavery, no matter the intentions. Physical appeal is much more now and something everyone relates to. Master is still a man with a penis, a set of eyes and a pulse. If he wants you to lose weight, he simply wants you to look better right now. Nothing more complicated than that and completely reasonable. If that is not deep enough for you then maybe a reality check is required.

    It may sound negative or shedding a less than desirable light on the nature of the male. I say who says it is undesirable or “wrong?” By who’s standards? A woman’s standard? Any man who feels the need to apologize for or deny the more superficial , self indulgent , unromantic or aesthetic side to his nature has simply been indoctrinated by the woman’s aversion to it and therefore the mere suggestion of a man’s visceral nature makes them feel insulted or forces them to champion more socially acceptable or intellectual reasons for wanting women to weigh less when there is really no need for that whatsoever. Not in my world anyway! :-)

  2. Gayle says:

    @sweetrecall:

    OMG Sweetrecall, you are probably the most direct female I have ever come across!

    I strongly agree with your point with regards to male’s views… If a female is not in the physical shape they desire, they will look else where and if they have to look else where for long enough they will leave … its fact … and its right for us females to see it that way. How else can we wade through all the bullshit from our society about being a dominant female? Being a dominant female in personal relationships only makes you sad and lost and lonely and confused and, eventually, left on your own!

    But Sweetrecall … do you really feel a M/S relationship can not be a lifetime relationship if you keep your body strong and beautiful and you meet your master’s needs? Is that not what he wants? I am sad to think that this cannot be? …

    G xx

  3. caringandreal says:

    Hi Gayle and sweetrecall,

    It’s nice to see some faces I know in this thread. Well, typefaces anyway. :D

    Most men in general may be of the “leave ’em if they’re not in shape” variety, but the masters I have been privileged enough to serve were always of the “change ’em if they’re not in shape” types. And both were focused on my health, believe it or not, not my beauty, which, quite frankly, one of them has most straightforwardly told me is not something I should consider an “issue.” LOL, I am not sure if I should be relieved or insulted by that. I think I shall be relieved. ;-) I also think I have been quite lucky in my life to know such men.

    “do you really feel a M/S relationship can not be a lifetime relationship … if you keep your body strong and beautiful and you meet your masters needs .. is that not what he wants? … I am sad to think that this cannot be? …”

    I’m not sweetrecall, but I’d like to give you my impression. In my experience, it depends entirely upon the master. While the men I think of as masters always have a certain diamond core in common to them, their external personalities and preferences vary quite widely. Some wish to love their slaves and live with them for life and if they wish so, they do so and to hell with the slave’s wishes or expectations in the matter.(I am speaking from years of experience here, lol) Other masters, with equally hard cores, may not wish to do this. I have also experienced that…and loved it. Attitudes among dominant men vary quite widely, in my experience, and not just in this area.

    Sweetrecall, I liked your article response. I, too, found it challenging–which is the best type of message to read, IMO. I may write back in reply to some of your points, but first I want to spend some time making myself at home here (set up my profile, etc.) It’s nice that people are already starting to post on this new (well, it seems new, I might be wrong) website. Sometimes in a new place it takes quite a long time for the ice to break. I’m glad that’s not happening here.

    c.A.r.

  4. caringandreal says:

    Hi sweetrecall,

    Yes, indeed, this is a strong statement you have made. And a very intelligent and eloquent one. I agreed with most of it, but wanted to discuss a few small points in which my experience has differed.

    “Good health…hmmmmm. Call me cynical (I like to think of it as realism), but I am not convinced that is the Master’s driving force.”

    I think it is more than realistic to consider this a goal of an experienced master, because, quite frankly, some slaves are selected not because we are beautiful show animals that win awards for our grace of form or make other men drool with envy but because of our solid, workhorse traits. That is, we are valuable for what we do, not how we look and if we are going to keep on doing what we are doing which is so valuable, we need to be healthy in order to do so. :-)

    “Slaves seem to be interchangeable one way or the other and that is something I have come to terms with, especially within the realm of purist slavery when romanticism is removed entirely.”

    Just this morning I was writing on another forum that submissive people are not commodities, and I feel this is so particularly in the context you mention above: multiple slaves and their alleged interchangeability.

    I think people differ from one another in all sorts of ways: intelligence, skills, talents, and appearance are some of the more obvious ones. There’s also nature (as in overall personality traits), level of understanding, self-control, resignation, enthusiasm, willingness, grace under duress, and all sorts of other less tangible traits which are important to some degree to slavery and which slaves might be measured by.

    A master might easily kennel a dumb beauty together with an intelligent and spirited type who makes him feel alive and alert, and of course, the reliable working slave to do the human version of “plowing the fields.” Why would any man with experience with women desire a whole kennel of dumb beauties (yes, I know, I am stereotyping, there are plenty of smart beauties as well). Sex, as fun as it is, does get old at times and I would think that the heart of someone with any sort of depth or dimension will yearn for other things, as well. Why wouldn’t a master, of all people, have such depth and dimension?

    “I think naturally our minds refuse to think this far into the future. We are not good at mortality nor the concept of the loss of our vitality or societal significance but I think about it a lot because I see it a lot.”

    Eh. Wait until you hit your fifties. ;-) (No, I don’t know your actual age, but if I can presume that’s you in the avatar and you are in your 50s, then you are either a true miracle of nature or have spent some really big $$$’s on most excellent surgery.) I _am_ in my 50s and death and the infirmity that may precede it is on my mind constantly, but I don’t attach any particular worry or negativity to it. I’m just aware, always, these days, that there is only a short amount of time left and a very great deal to get done in it so health is a foremost issue for me. Without it I am fairly worthless. I wonder if this is something that naturally starts to occur to a person as they age? I know I didn’t have these thoughts in my 40s, even though my heath was, for the large part, much worse than it is now.

  5. sweetrecall says:

    Thank YOU for your eloquent and intelligent responses. It is so pleasant to have discussion without it spiraling into a mud slinging session.

    I can be a little straightforward and I sometimes do suddenly start addressing uncomfortable issues or intellectualizing in a rather blunt fashion but please know it is not my intent to offend and please let me know if I am doing so. I will adjust my tone and censor a little.

    But slaves are indeed commodities and a Master who loves his slave for ever and ever in a singular way is not really engaging in purist slavery. He is having a romantic relationship which is fine but it is not master and slave, I think.

    So, I accept my precarious position basically. I have no hold over him. I cannot use my feminine wiles, or emotionally blackmail him nor throw my expectations at him because he indeed considers me a commodity, useful only for what I offer NOW and will continue to offer. When I offer that no more, then I expect to be no more, no matter what affection he has for me in the meanwhile. I am worth my service and only my service.

    I wonder though, as a side note, how many slaves on a diet plan are morbidly obese or fat enough for it to affect non sexual service? If not, then why are they on a diet? I don’t think Masters expect nor require beautiful show slaves as an authentic slave period is a precious commodity no matter what they look like but I promise you they wish they could have a beautiful AND an authentic slave. I am not entirely sure originally beautiful slaves are a great idea long term because of external validation and ego but that has already been very well addressed on this site. But what Master wouldn’t want that if it was available?

    So, really when you think about it, poly is our best chance for a lifetime M/s relationship, it reduces the risk of replacement. You see, I don’t think men are remotely designed to stay with one woman exclusively for a lifetime…in fact we know they are not. One woman can rarely be all things to a man or meet all of his needs, and so a happy man is a man with continuing choice and variety…he is far less likely to replace and more likely to draw what he needs from the different sources instead, having less reason to replace. Who says all needs should be met by one woman? Women do that is who! LOL

    He may indeed value all types of slaves as you rightly point out, whether she is a dumb beauty or one who makes him smile or another who tickles his IQ or the one who can “pull plow” or clean stuff really well, but he is always going to want her to look as good as he can get her to look in the meanwhile and that is just fine.

    I am no expert and I do not speak as any authority especially as this will be my first M/s relationship. I simply call it as I see it and I am utterly open to being wrong. I am just not sure I am. However, when this is run by the “boss” he may well correct me. For now though this is how I feel.

  6. MarcEsadrian says:

    @Sweetrecall:

    “Good health…hmmmmm. Call me cynical (I like to think of it as realism), but I am not convinced that is the Master’s driving force. Fat is of course unhealthy long term, but I think what they look like and feel like is more important.”

    Sure, if you’re talking about the transient “Master” of the casual fetish community who rattles incestuously through as many females as he can in his social circle. But since females fit for the reality of consensual slavery are rare, and since a Master of any substance—who is also rare, mind you—will no doubt spend a considerable portion of time and thought in training his female for his specific use, long-term is almost always, by virtue of the process, considered. No, it may not be “till death do us part,” but it is, always in my case, at least, for the foreseeable future—unless or until something unforeseen happens. Having long-term plans for your slave is not the same as making a promise of romantic fidelity, however. I’m not certain if this is somewhere in the subtext of your thinking, but I wanted to clear the air on that, just in case.

    As for my concern of the health of a female who serves me, it is almost always high on the list. If I find her useful and valuable, why would I not optimize her health? Keeping her as fit and as healthy as possible is the only logical thing to do if she is fully mine: it increases her longevity, physical usefulness, and beauty, all at the same time. She’ll feel better and I’ll feel better about her, not only in being more visually appealing, but trusting she’s not going to keel over with a heart attack when scrubbing the kitchen floor, leaving me to explain the suspicious bruises on her body at the hospital.

  7. caringandreal says:

    @sweetrecall:

    I think we are basically in agreement about a male having multiple females being a given in most of these types of relationships. You do remember my example of the various types of creatures “kenneled together?” :-) I think, however, that my emotional outlook on polygamy may be a bit different than yours. Rather than seeing my future master having other slaves besides me as a necessary evil, I see it as an advantage and as having the potential to be a great positive for me personally and for the other women. I see polygamy as a chance to meet and befriend cool new women with lots of redeeming qualities. It’ll be nice to have new friends who I can be considerably more open with than I could be with anyone else, even other slaves outside the relationship.

    I enjoy differences in people and I personally like the idea of being kenneled with a young hottie, a high-powered saleswoman, a domestic, or all of the above. I think we would help to alleviate the others’ loneliness when the master was off on business, particularly for long periods of time. We could talk, have fun, teach each other new things, and share our duties. I also think that if the master is sadistically inclined, if there are multiple slaves, we’d “share” the sadism, so to speak, whereas a sole slave might experience a lot more pain, being the only focus of that sort of attention.

    From my perspective, my position wouldn’t become precarious with other women in the picture. If anything, it will strengthen because I will have another way I can “add value.” Because I like women so much I’d make sure the other(s) laughed a lot, had fun, enjoyed themselves, were at peace as much as I was allowed to do that under our man’s rule.

    “But slaves are indeed commodities a Master who loves his slave for ever and ever in a singular way is not really engaging in purist slavery.”

    I think there is quite a wide gap between a monogamous love situation involving a master and his slave and slaves being pure commodities. And in that gap there is room for considerable individuality.

    From what I understand, commodities are goods that are always the same, no matter where you buy them or how you pay for them. Buy an iPod in Auburn, Alabama or in the gift shop of a Trappist monastery in Belgium or on Amazon.com, and it should be exactly the same. Order a McDonald’s cheeseburger (shudder–if you have to) in Timbuktu or Kalamazoo and they should taste the same. That is the nature of commodities: they are identical in every way.

    But people are never identical in every way, and a slave who can earn her master good wages as a high-powered salesperson or lawyer, for instance, is very different from a slave with no career skills and very little education, but who is, pardon my English, “hotter than fuck.” Slaves do not all come with the same personalities, either, and these personalities as well as their varying natural abilities and skills, will determine the highly different uses a polygamous master might put them to.

    In times when it was legal to own slaves, at least in the sensible ancient days, all slaves young and old, weak and strong, weren’t crudely sent out in the fields to pick cotton, as that was a waste of good human resources: some were soldiers, some were accountants, some handmaidens to the lady of the house, some cooks, some sex toys, etc.. They engaged in a wide variety of occupations, all useful to their masters. Why would any sane ancient slave owner get rid of a valuable bean-counter slave simply because she wasn’t sexually attractive? That makes no sense economically. It doesn’t benefit the slave owner in any way. The more “pure” the contemporary consensual master/slave relationship is, the more closely I believe it will resemble these ancient non-consensual enslavements, where human property was used fully to the best of its capacities–and those capacities differed widely from individual to individual.

    If you see slaves only in terms of their sexual abilities then the argument about females as commodities holds water. But I know for a fact, having lived for years in a real-life enslavement, that consensual slavery often involves a great deal more than sex. What about intellectual exchange, for example? Or emotional support?

    I think it’s accurate to say that some dominant men want just the sex. Perhaps even the majority do. I also think it’s fair to say that most men place a very high emphasis on sex. But are such men worth wasting time on? I know that the only type of master I will ever seek out will be multi-dimensional. He’ll be past the barbarian stage of D&s, which sees the entire potential of enslavement in limited sexual terms, when there is actually so much more to it that that. I’m not saying sex isn’t important or even essential to these relationships, I’m just saying there’s also a lot more that goes into the package of an attractive slave–at least to a man who is worth being enslaved to.

    “But since females fit for the reality of consensual slavery are rare, and since a Master of any substance—who is also rare, mind you—will no doubt spend a considerable portion of time and thought in training his female for his specific use, long-term is almost always, by virtue of the process, considered.

    @MarcEsadrian

    Good point. This has been my experience, too. Good slaves and good masters are very rare. Commodities, on the other hand, are produced in huge quantities, there’s more than plenty for all. A slave to a quality master with any sense will not be dropped when the next new upgrade comes along, because she’s not only rare but she’s proven herself, proven her value to him, and he has no idea if the new chick has what it takes to endure the rigors of enslavement. However attractive, she’s unknown, a bet, a gamble, but the existing slave, after a certain point, has high value because she has proven her worth over time.

    Nice exchange, sweetrecall, and you too, MarcEsadrian. We’re ranged a little off weight loss, but these points are worth exploring and they do indirectly address that thought-provoking article.

  8. Julia says:

    Brave article here, lol. Needless to say I agree with it all the way. I’m 5’6″ and 134 pounds. Husband always tells me to keep an eye on my weight and eat right even though I think he has picked up on healthy eating habits from me too. I always strive to look my very best. being visually pleasing is the LEAST I can do to make him happy. Don’t get me wrong, proper weight is very important, I just think it should be a given for a humbled female.

  9. StraightUpSub says:

    I agree with the reasons to be healthy and that a sub should strive to be. The problem I have is with the Masters who insist on it in a sub but are not as healthy as they should be. You know, the guy with the beer belly that wants an “in shape submissive” with a hot body. The Master that does drugs/drinks beer/ eats dessert every day but wants his sub on the treadmill 5 days a week. There are many flaccid Masters out there. I truly believe that a Master should exhibit the strength, self-control and discipline that he expects from his submissive. Lead by example or else how can your submissive look up to you?

  10. MarcEsadrian says:

    @StraightUpSub:

    I thoroughly agree; men should take care of their bodies and their well being, too. I do this and I have always advocated it in others. Leading by example is tremendously effective. My only caveat to this thinking is the simple fact that consensual slaves, once slaves, aren’t in a position to dictate collateral terms or bold “if, then” caveats to the authority of the master.

  11. redbottomgirl83 says:

    Good article, & I have some good news…upon reading the negatives (which I already knew about) but when I started reading to the point of “diabetes, stroke, heart attack”…it reminded me of all the health problems my parents have, then I quickly stepped away from the screen & went outside for a few minutes of walking. Granted, it was not very cardio but until my 6 weeks are up from my surgery, I really can’t do too much cardio,but I’m going to work on it when the doctor says that I can. I still find it a BIG plus, that I made myself step away at the exact moment I wanted to (without procrastinating or putting it off until later or tomorrow), so that made me feel good about me for a change.

    I did want to address something that sweetrecall mentioned. I do want to be polite about this, but this one line “The likelihood is he will simply replace her with a younger healthier slave or she would have wandered off anyway for some other reason. Slaves seem to be interchangeable one way or the other and that is something I have come to terms with”

    … I don’t really agree with this part, most of the other parts made sense, but this part didn’t. Especially, if most of us here think that a high quality slave (meaning all the traits or most of them he desires) is rare & special, then why would he need to replace her if both her service & looks (& mind/spirit) are good, up to par, or perhaps better than he expected?

    Even, on the most base level, it’s true, he could easily find another sub or slave…but wouldn’t that simply cheapen his “mastery” if he could replace her? And I don’t think that she would have wandered as far off or away (he could release her, or she could humbly ask or beg for release, but I again, would also find her slavery less sincere if she wanted out so badly then maybe they were not a good fit for each other. Still, both should know very well before declaring themselves to each other, that they do mesh well, or can learn to do so, and that they do have need of each other short or long term.

    Caring&real made some great points about how there are all different kinds & types out there, and no two people will be the same, & it is very unrealistic to try to make people the same, or force them into a mold they will never fit (it’s not a question of a sub or slave not doing as she’s told, or doing things wrongs, at heart if something is truly wrong in the relationship or enslavement (whatever you prefer to call it), then more than likely it is due to a conflict in the nature of what the other wants, or expects, or maybe they are on two very different paths. I don’t necessarily think is means the Dom or sub themselves were “bad” types, only that they are not suited for each other (this happens in plain relationships too).

    Now, there are bad types out there, say for instance the sub or purported slave who only cares about money, or the Dom or Master who only cares about sex & physical looks…these types are a dime a dozen, & it is just character flaws if a person fixates on only certain aspects. So, yes I have seen some of these types myself, but they are self-identifying early, so they are fairly easy to avoid, though I have met some who are very elusive until you are living with them (in which case, it’s unavoidable until you are in the middle of a situation with them).

    Back to the point of weight-issues or weight loss: Just as being anorexic or bulimic is unhealthy & a Dom or Master should notice those issues as well, so too is food addictions & over-eating.I do want to say that anyone can get these, not just women [but women are mostly focused on because they are so easily noticed;men tend to hide it better because they don’t talk about their feelings often] (they are both stemming from the same issue which is usually because of some type of physical,emotional or sexual abuse (sometimes a person may only be faced with one, sometimes a little of each, sometimes all three at some point).

    Hopefully a sub or slave, is not having to ‘recover’ from any of these issues, it is entirely possibly that a person with no prior history of anything might suddenly develop a fixation on either binge eating or purging or too much exercise, but it is my opinion that usually a past history will up the likelihood of a DOm or Master having to intervene on these issues at some point (& even if no past history, sometimes it’s social media that urges some of these feelings to be “perfect” or by saying “thin is the new in” or “youth is beauty” these all reinforce that anything different from this mold or build is not attractive).

    My overall stance, though I can’t think of anything specific is that I would encourage or even appreciate if a Dom or Master type (essentially all masters should display Dom qualities,but not all Doms display Master qualities in my eyes)…directing me or others towards a path that is not destructive. In that way, you can have a kind & caring Dom just because he does value you, so of course, he doesn’t want your worth depreciating (that doesn’t make you a commodity of staying the same, but if you think of it like he’s restoring a “classic” car to it’s original beauty, it’s still the same you, but just better than it was before, then that’s the best positive I can make out of it.

    Now, if he was calling you a fat or lazy cow as motivation…yeah, I don’t see that as actually helping to motivate you to do better, in fact, it urges on more bad behaviors (I think only the sadist would use these tactics, so he could later punish you for being lazy; this is why I usually won’t start relationships with sadists,but I could be wrong…I’m well aware that not all sadists are the same,but…I just don’t know, I’ve met far too many men who quite enjoy deriding or complaining to a woman about “what she isn’t doing” more than what service she does do, or what she’s good at.

    This also ties into, yes, I have also seen alot of Doms who talk of wanting a beautiful,attractive,smart,funny,caring, & in-shape woman, only to be as someone put it “beer guzzling, or sugar craved” Doms who are quick to dish out chastisement for the very thing they crave as well.

    I agreed with Marc as well, that Doms should in general take care of themselves, if they are at least going to “put a girl/woman to the mill” about her overall health & attractiveness, then he needs to set the example & be the leader [which means, if he’s not out there with you making sure he’s encouraging & or at least showing you how it needs to be done…but if he just takes you to the track or gym & leaves you there without making much note of it, in all likelihood he really isn’t concerned with you getting better]. Now, if his job doesn’t permit the time, that might be one thing, but at least when he’s able he needs to take a pro-active stance to both your health.

    And good call about not dictating to a Dom, it’s true, as a sub I’d feel very awkward to point out about Master’s few extra pounds (if he has any) or that he wasn’t as active as he should be…it would seem to undermine the overall dictum or tenets of the relationship. Though, in my mind, there might be things I kept to myself if such was the case that he was ignoring my health or his (but the question is, as a good sub or slave, if I fail to point this out to the Dom in the long-term, there wouldn’t I be neglecting his care, if I didn’t make mention of something I thought were wrong or needed to be addressed, if he wasn’t addressing them?).

  12. slave_rachel says:

    Master Richard is more concerned with health than appearances and being too overweight is definitely a health issue. i have always exercised,since high school (now 58) and have been a fitness instructor, Pilates. we have a $6000 gym in the living room because there are no public ones here and many steep hills to power walk and ride. Yes the gym is used regularly by me.
    He is not so interested in exercise- His generation was more disdainful of brawn vs brain rather than both being in the same person. i try to encourage Him but it is up to Him.

    My job for the last 2 years is very sedentary so losing weight to my previous level has been difficult.

    Master has dietary control and candy is not allowed and other sweets on a case by case basis.
    i would assume that a Master has the full right to train/order His slave to do whatever healthy program He wants.
    Whether or not He chooses to get in shape Himself has no bearing on whether or not He can direct me to. He can, and does.

  13. chance_to_smile says:

    redbottonedgirl83 said:
    “And good call about not dictating to a Dom, it’s true, as a sub I’d feel very awkward to point out about Master’s few extra pounds (if he has any) or that he wasn’t as active as he should be…it would seem to undermine the overall dictum or tenets of the relationship. Though, in my mind, there might be things I kept to myself if such was the case that he was ignoring my health or his (but the question is, as a good sub or slave, if I fail to point this out to the Dom in the long-term, there wouldn’t I be neglecting his care, if I didn’t make mention of something I thought were wrong or needed to be addressed, if he wasn’t addressing them?). ”

    That was something I was wondering about through this entire article….all this talk of the slave staying in shape for the sake of pleasing the Master. That’s great….that’s a wonderful thing to do….but certainly the Master has a responsibility to his slave to take care of himself and maintain himself in a healthy state. Frankly, if I had a Master that insisted I follow a particular diet and exercise program so I stay in shape for him…and he didn’t do the same….I would go looking for another Master. I’m not going to care for some fat slob who sets himself up for a heart attack at 55.

  14. Desi Daasi says:

    This is an interesting topic for me. Not the weight issue per se, but the relationship a slave should have towards food. For me, Consensual 24×7 slavery is a spiritual practice, in which I serve my Swami as my God. From my early childhood, I have fasted on certain days and have always tried to eat as low on the food chain as I possibly can.

    To me your selection of food, kind of says something about your mental approach to submission. I have some rules about food that I follow, which reinforce my Daasi (slave) status with my Swami( my Master, my husband)

    1) I only eat after he has had his meal, unless he compels me to eat with him.
    2) I serve him his meals, like he would be served in a restaurant
    3) I enjoy eating my meal in the same plate that he finished eating in.
    4) I have learnt to take pride cooking meals that he enjoys
    5) My meals are always, always, less richer, simpler and blander than his meals. I firmly believe that a slave should never eat richer or more nutrient dense food than her master. That would be really weird for me. I am a slave for God’s sake. My food choice is another act of submission to my Swami for me.
    6) My Swami enjoys eating meat, I on the other hand eat mostly vegan, sometimes vegetarian. My meals are usually lower in the food chain than his
    7) Whenever there is a limited portion of any food item left, I always make sure he gets the larger portion.
    8) I fast sunrise to sunset, two days a week. It is a spiritual practice to reinforce the relationship that I have with food, namely that I “eat to live” so that I can serve my Swami, not “Live to eat”

    Why do I do these?

    These are not restrictions, that my Swami has placed on me. These are principles that I feel are essential for my practice of “Consensual Slavery”.

    One of the benefits of such an approach to food for me, has been that I have a slim figure which accentuates my breast size and makes me physically appealing to my Swami.

    My relationship with food has helped me serve my Swami better physically!!

    Please don’t interpret my comments to mean that I am putting slimness on a pedestal. I do realize that not everybody can be super slim, or fit into what the media pushes as desirable weight for a woman.

    I do believe however that in rich countries like the US, our relationship with food has become unhealthy. For me, consensual slavery has helped remedy that unhealthy relationship.

  15. ushaben says:

    Master Robert feeds me, from His own plate, with His own hand. Without His permission, i am not allowed to feed myself without He puts the first morsel in my mouth. To me, it is more than a ritual of subservience. my psyche is riddled with feelings of guilt, so when He feeds me, it allows me to believe that He thinks me deserving to be fed, so that i can eat with a clearer conscience. t The psychological significance upon me of being fed might be to reaffirm my submission to Him, and my dependence on Him, but it is also fantastically exciting and erotically charged. i love the feel of His fingers putting the food into my mouth, as well as the feeling of the skin of His fingers, mixed with the taste and texture of the food, as i close my lips around them and then slowly draw them along.

  16. kseekingwisdom says:

    This is a great article. My Husband certainly expects me to maintain a healthy and attractive weight, and monitors it closely. And I am glad and grateful that he does. Expecting a Man not to notice or care how his woman is looking is unrealistic, and for the Man to obediently agree to ignore her obesity isn’t a sign of love, but either apathy or weakness. I respect my Husband for asserting that he deserves an attractive, active and vibrantly healthy companion. I feel better about myself slim, too; it is good for both of us.

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